My one wedding regret: Not hiring the vendor we purposely cut

Photo by Metro Style Studios.
Photo by Metro Style Studios.

Through planning our wedding, we nixed a lot of vendors and traditions we didn’t think fit us.

I made our cake, we had no flowers, we self-DJed, and we didn’t have a videographer. All of this was in an effort to save money, but also have the wedding we wanted instead of producing some generic details we would never remember 15 years down the road.

…And now my one regret is not hiring a videographer.

Pre­-wedding, I thought it was silly, and that we would never watch the video. I’m not super sentimental so imagining us sitting down to watch our wedding video in 50 years just… blech. Tears and, "Oh, remember…?” did not appeal to me. So why pay to have it made?

The main reason I regret not hiring one? I didn’t get to see how everything went at the ceremony before I got down the aisle! I didn’t get to see my husband hug his parents as they sat down. I didn’t get to see the smiles of everyone as our different groups walked down. Our processional song was timed PERFECTLY (without even trying) and I wish I had that on record, since I’m pretty proud of the song we chose.

It’s not a big regret, and in a few months I may not even call it a regret. But if I could do it over again, I would shell out the cash for a videographer.

I have no idea if anyone out there is planning a wedding thinking, “I don’t need someone to film the ceremony!” Maybe you’re right. But really consider it before you totally rule it out. If nothing else, I recommend having a family friend record it on their phone. (Of course, if it hadn’t have been for our unplugged ceremony we might have had some video footage of the day.)

Ultimately my point is to really consider the vendors you’re slashing. I didn’t anticipate feeling like I
missed a part of the ceremony, but I do now. And, unfortunately, I can’t go back and fix it.

Are there any vendors you regret not hiring? How do you deal with the "woulda coulda shouldas"? (Psst: If this post has inspired you to hire a videographer, we have a few recommendations. 😉 )

Get your daily dose of Offbeat AWESOME

  1. The one thing I wished we never did was not have 1st dance, bouquet toss, and garter toss (which I've never asked my husband if he still wishes he did that. I could have lived without that looking back). The 1st dance was just so, well, awkward. My father passed away, so my Uncle had dance with me. But between my Uncle, me, my husband and Mother in law, we just moved side to side for 3 minutes for each dance. Even watching my Uncle dance with his daughters for their wedding, it was still awkward. I have seen my wedding video once since we have been married and really had no desire to watch it again. I have had a few photo's of my wedding on the wall. But same there, other than a few nice ones I don't look at those either. But in my wedding photo case, I am still happy that we have them. My husbands uncle videoed the wedding as the gift to us. At least I don't feel bad about paying for it and not looking at other than once.

  2. I am glad a family friend offered to record the day, because we didn't want to waste money on it. I still wouldn't hire someone for it if I had to do it again, but I am glad we got some things caught on camera; like our first dance. I've watched that a few times and probably will again.

  3. We didn't have a videographer either. I have been to weddings and made to feel super awkward having a camera shoved in my face whilst dancing. I didn't think I'd miss it. However after the wedding I wished I'd had my dad look at me as he walked me down the aisle and 'the first look'. It was the only bit I wish I had recorded. We'd all had a great time dancing and I'm sure I wouldn't have felt as comfortable if I'd been self concious whilst filmed. I was very lucky. My brother took a sneaky ceremony video, which he edited as a short black and white movies. It was subtle, but captured those moments. Sadly we are not together now, but I'm still glad I have that DVD.

  4. I sort of regret not spending more time with our photographer doing posed photos. Not with family, I'm content with what we have of those. But just with the two of us. I was so adamant about getting to and experiencing our cocktail hour that we sacrificed photo time. It's a weird regret because I DON'T regret being at cocktail hour. That's when I got to do the most mingling and spend time with guests. But sometimes I see other peoples wedding photos and I'm jealous of some of the beautiful shots that we just don't have. We may actually get dressed back up in our costumes next year and do a "1st anniversary shoot" to make up for it! But who knows, by then it might not bother me anymore.
    The one vendor that we almost cut but then booked on a whim was our hotel. Originally, my husband was going to stay at his best men's house and I was going to stay at our apartment the night before. But, I discovered that with my AAA discount we could get two nights for the price of one so we went for it and it made things so much less stressful. We were only 10 minutes away from our venue instead of 30, PLUS there was a power outage at our apartment the night before the wedding!

  5. I've been debating this issue with myself. I also don't feel like I'm the sentimental type who would watch the video over and over again so I worry that it would be a waste of money. But at the same time I've seen friends who have had the most amazing videos made that catch little moments you aren't aware of. Like the bride and groom doing a last minute practice dance the day before. They didn't know they were being filmed but it was just such a lovely thing for them to look back at. However I also don't like the idea of having a camera in my face or the specialty lighting equipment that looks out of place. It will probably come down to how much is left in the kitty when everything else has been budgeted.

    • I will say that with our videographer we didn't even notice he was there.
      He didn't bring any special lighting equipment so we weren't blinded with any weird lights and he was always around but never there … if that makes any sense? When we watched our rough footage there were times when I was going "I didn't even know he was near us at that point!" With a good videographer, and a good photographer for that matter, they will just fade into the background and you'll never even be aware that you're on camera. 🙂

      2 agree
  6. We didn't have a videographer for many of the same reasons. However, we did buy a couple of GoPros. One was in my bouquet and the other was on a tripod during the ceremony. The one in my bouquet ended up not working, so that was a bust… I'm really glad we had the other one.

    BUT! If I had to do it again, I think I'd actually hire a videographer. Although we have some footage of the ceremony from the GoPro, the sound is bad (can barely hear what we're saying over the sound of some running water) and the image isn't the best.

    Plus, we're missing a lot of footage that a videographer probably would have captured, like my sister's pre-ceremony speech, our first dance, etc.

    • I was considering the GoPro route… would you not recommend it? Kinda I wish I had a dog, GoPro dog wedding videos give me so many feels!

      1 agrees
  7. I definitely regret not having either a videographer or an assigned friend filming the festivities. We have one video of cutting the cake, and one of our first dance, but nothing from the incredibly meaningful toasts that my sister and my husband's cousin gave. I wish to heaven I had those filmed.

Join the conversation

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

No-drama comment policy

Part of what makes the Offbeat Empire different is our commitment to civil, constructive commenting. Make sure you're familiar with our no-drama comment policy.

Biz owners & wedding bloggers

Please just use your real name in your comment, not your business name or blog title. Our comments are not the place to pimp your website. If you want to promote your stuff on Offbeat Bride, join us as an advertiser instead.