The official offbeat wedding checklist

Of course every bride's checklist will be different, but we have a few suggestions

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Finally, a checklist for Offbeat Brides! Obviously, no one checklist can meet everyone's needs, but this one is hopefully a bit more slanted toward nontraditional concerns. That said, it assumes you've got about a year-long engagement — some of you are waaay longer, and some of you manage to do it all in three months. Your mileage may vary.

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  1. Oh, it looks like you forgot "schedule mani/pedi trial run 3 months before the wedding to ensure color matches your table linens and accent flowers."

    Seriously, though: Thank you for this!

    10 agree
  2. Perfect! Thanks for posting this. Definitely better than anything in those "wedding planner" books.

    1 agrees
  3. I am always afraid I'm forgetting something major. Thanks so much for this!! It's so much better than the other ones that are available!

    2 agree
  4. Thank you so much for this. It is now getting down to crunch time and although I have a wedding planner, I am also a bit of a control freak (thanks Mom) and need to make sure I dictate to her everything I need. She won't know unless I tell her, so thanks. ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. This list is awesome because it uses a word that most other wedding sites don't–IF.

    5 agree
  6. Sedative! That's brilliant, I wish someone had recommended that for me, I got about 2 hours sleep night before my wedding and looked it. People say they couldn't tell and the adrenaline got me through the day easily, but I can still see tired eyes when I look at my pictures. I'll definitely be recommending to my friends they snag a valium from somewhere.

  7. I love this. ๐Ÿ™‚ The only thing that I would change is when to choose your officiant. If you have someone in mind that you'd like, it's basically her/his availability and the venue that decides the date of your shindig.

    2 agree
  8. The list is great, except that I'm a bride in pants! I'll have to customize my list a little more ๐Ÿ™‚

    1 agrees
  9. Oh god… there's so much stuff that needs to be done that I keep overlooking… I guess we're going to do a lot of "winging it." I'm gonna need to do a lot of masturbating and sedative-munching. Oh well.

  10. Anyone considering having farm animals around their wedding really needs to RECONSIDER IT! I live on a farm & we would never consider renting an animal out for a wedding. Take this from someone who's mother wanted swans swimming in her pool & whose father threatened to serve the poor birds for dinner after he got done cleaning up the poop right before the guests started arriving. Now I have to got back to hitting my head on the wall. My son is getting married soon – possibly at our farm. I'm thinking I'll hand out shovels, rakes & pitchforks to the guests as they arrive. Good luck every one.

    1 agrees
  11. Seriously, though, why do so many wedding places advise to "start thinking about hairstyles" like 6 months before the wedding? Am I missing something? Is this something that I should really put 6 months worth of thought into?

    1 agrees
  12. Sarah, I guess the logic is that if you want to grow it out, it could take six months? That's the only justification I can think of.

    2 agree
    • Yeah, I've encuntered a lot of "Oh, well you need to decide how you'll wear your hair so you'll know how long you'll need to let it grow." I guess most people just assume I'm going to grow it out. If anything, I was thinking of buzzing it again, it was so beautiful!

      • I keep telling my fiancรฉ this. He changes his hair quite often, usually varying types of undercuts, sometimes with synthetic dreads and sometimes without. I just want him to think about what hair he would like at the wedding, so he doesn't do something irreversible (in the given time-frame) before then ๐Ÿ˜›

  13. Or in my case,
    1. Get license
    2. Make sure park is clear the day of ceremony
    3. Get married
    4. Eat and drink
    5. Hot married sex

    I realized that after dumping a number of specific expenses like getting my hair done and having a fancy cake that dumping all of it and going bare bones is much easier/cheaper/smarter. S'nice.

    1 agrees
  14. Love the list, especially the frequent use of the word "if". You seem to cover all the big stuff, without getting down to teensy, stupid, princess-type details.

    2 agree
  15. OMG, don't make the mistake one of my Customers did and get your Gown details done LAST! 1:Get the Venue then 2:Get your Gown/Costume details/deposit/contract/shopping done! 3:Then deal with everyone else's minutia…
    From a Gown Designer's perspective everyone's coming in to the shop at once wanting your full attention and the Calendar Juggling Act becomes chaos with just one last minute forgetful Girl…and we haveto charge accordingly to make it work! Save your budget for fun things, not Rush Fees ๐Ÿ˜‰

    2 agree
    • No Kidding and I'm 54 and it's starting to be a task. People are coming up to me saying we can't wait and I'm thinking shit I didn't even think of you to invite. It's just becuz they have waited so freakin long to see me get married for the FIRST time.I'm thinking just masturbate and forget about the whole thing!

      7 agree
  16. fantastic list – i'm so glad i found it! masturbate, or hot unmarried sex i think…. ๐Ÿ™‚

  17. OMG thank you so much for this. Any other checklists from frilly sites like the Knot scare me senseless to look at. They go on forever and I've never understood the point of terrifying the bride with ever single minor detail just when she's considering plannign a wedding. This list is perfect.

    1 agrees
  18. the reason for deciding soooo earlie on your hair is partly to match it to the rest of your outfit – but mainly to be able to fix any oopsies along the way.

    i plan to have my hair highlighted but if i am not careful my hair turns a carrot color and acutally clashes with my skin tone – not a look i would want for my wedding!!!!!

    1 agrees
  19. Here's an idea…Instead of doing the rehearsal dinner on the day before, do it two days before. That way, the day before the wedding can be completely stress-free and you can just chill if you want to.

    5 agree
    • I had my rehearsal dinner two days beforehand (because the venue had a wedding the night before mine), and it was very nice to have everyone fly in, go to the rehearsal, have dinner, and have the whole next day to spend time with family we so rarely see. It was relaxing, fun, and tiring enough that I slept through the night before my wedding!

    • My best friend is getting married In 15 days on Saturday, the 8th. We're doing the rehearsal on Wednesday and the rehearsal dinner on Friday. I really think having the rehearsal a couple or few days in advance will allow more room for if there's hiccups and how to take care of them without feeling down to the wire. ๐Ÿ™‚
      Reading the list reminded me I need to get my toast down on paper! ๐Ÿ˜€

  20. This list is great! Thank you!
    I just got engaged and when I went to look at the site, I kind of panicked since I haven't been planning this since I was a fetus.
    This makes it easier to focus and streamline everything!

    1 agrees
  21. Oh my lord. I'm such an over planner but after my now fiance and I got engaged I sat there at the computer going "uh…buh?" I was clueless as to where to even start. I went to the knot website and started looking and thought "No! I want no white dress! I want no roses or shit like that! I want no lace! I want no tuxes! WHAT DO I DO!" Then I found this, took a moment for a sigh of relief, called the hubby to be in, and planned out what we could in a matter of twenty minutes. Thank GOD for you and this checklist!

    2 agree
  22. Wow, this is the best to-do list I've seen so far! I have to admit, yup I am a member of brides.com, knot.com, anything under the sun about planning my wedding.com, but evertime I look at their to-do lists I feel like the whole ordeal is getting way over our heads and way out of our pocketbooks. This is pretty much everything important without making the psycho fuss the other sites do, and seriously…the sedative masturbation step is the most clever thing ive seen yet! thanks!

    1 agrees
  23. Hee. WOW. So much planning!
    I helped, a bit, with my sister's wedding, but I am SO glad a friend sent me here–I just got engaged, and we're going to just chill for awhile before we start any planning! Seeing what other commenters said about other sites: eep! ๐Ÿ˜›

    Cheers! Bookmarking this!

  24. i can so relate to this checklist better than the others one this suits my lifestyle n i am plannin my gothic wedding comein this fall on halloween n i need help with some ideas for dresses thanx

  25. Brilliant list ๐Ÿ™‚

    As I don't currently have a clue about where to start with this stuff – especially if you don't want a "traditional" wedding, this has to be the best site I've come across by far.

    Many Thanks!

  26. It occurs to me that it might be nice to have a printer-friendly version of this, when I tried to print it I got a lot of extra stuff from side bars and the header, plus all the comments. If this already exists, maybe add a more visable link?

  27. Awesome, I am in the thick of wedding planning even months ahead 'coz I'm that way, but this validates my choices, and refines some. Thanks! ๐Ÿ™‚

  28. Who doesn't love a planning checklist that is completely vague and includes masturbation?

    This list is fantastic.

    1 agrees
  29. I've been engaged for two weeks as of yesterday, and have been a fan of this site for the last few months. I bought my first bridal magazine at the airport a week ago and completely freaked at the 12 month checklist, and then called bullshit on the majority of it. Thank you for this list, and for teaching me to ignore all the "should(s)" and "have to(s)."

  30. This has to be my favourite to do list, just in general really, not even wedding related! But seriously though, although some stuff doesnt apply to me as im in england your website has been THE most helpful thing i have discovered! Not geting married till January but i've broken my leg so im doing lots of planning early!! Thank you again for this superb website =D

  31. This is hilarious! I need to masturbate like the list says to do! Even if I have 3 months to go — I'm just starting to plan the wedding.

  32. Sarah my hair stylist said she had a bride from hell who decided to change her hair the day of her wedding. They had decided on one after going through a few different ones. She also threw in extra people for her to do after the said they couldn't afford it. The day of the wedding she had something like 5 or 6 people to do. So maybe thinking of the hair is not a bad idea!

    1 agrees
  33. That is brilliant – and I can imagine far more practical than much of the advice in the WIC mags – and makes me feel like I'm on-track with 2.5 months to go (while still reminding me what I still need to do) Love the commentary about the masturbation reminder – we shouldn't need a reminder but I bet with the craziness in the lead-up to a wedding, common sense can fly out the window! I appreciate the note about sedatives too. My one addition would be to check arrangements for the care of one's pets (and possibly children) on the day and during the honeymoon.

    Still loosely on theme, I do have a question for readers: do you have any advice about having stamina for the Big Day? (I understand that the B&G are often too tired to make for a Big Night…) I'm working on a better diet, a little more exercise and sleep for the next couple of months, but what else should I do to ensure that I am polite, engaged (boom boom!) and energetic throughout my wedding day?

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