I’m totally burnt out on even THINKING about my stupid wedding. It’s non-stop drama and I’m totally overwhelmed! My clever theme has become irritating, and the prospect of getting my family together sounds like the dawn of WW III. Help! —Danica

Yeah, it can all start to feel like a bit much sometimes, can’t it? There’s a whole chapter in Offbeat Bride dedicated to ways to preserve your sanity when planning a wedding (STAYING SANE: How to keep your proverbial shit together), but that was only the tip of the iceberg. Here are five more ways to lift your spirits when you feel like your offbeat wedding is coming apart at its DIY, craftsy seams:

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I don’t get the whole wedding flowers thing. I want a bouquet (what would I do with my hands during the ceremony without one? I can just picture myself standing their awkwardly), but my head spins whenever I even try to think about the other flower shit I need for the wedding. I just want the place to look pretty! Why’s it gotta be so hard? —Jaq

God, good question Jaq. “Why’s it gotta be so hard?” could pretty much be the motto of every offbeat bride, but I extra-sympathize with you on the flower thing. I skipped the whole issue by getting married in a garden, but for those who chose a different road, there are answers.

I sat down with Seattle’s demigod of blossoms, Fiori Floral Design’s Miles Johnson and peppered him with questions and got a few tips for the floral-impaired:

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I finished Offbeat Bride in just two sittings because I just couldn’t put it down. My only disappointment was that there weren’t any suggestions on how to handle being an offbeat bride with a traditional groom. How do you have an offbeat wedding without crossing the line? How to have a traditional ceremony that won’t make me feel like I’m at someone else’s wedding? —Becky

Becky, this is a great question, and absolutely a topic that should have been in the book! I lucked out by having a groom who’s wedding visions were as hallucinogenic as mine, but your situation is infinitely more common — just because two people are engaged doesn’t mean they’re somehow a brain-unit with matching Christmas sweaters and 100% aligned opinions.

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While my sweetie and I DO want to exchange rings, we DON’T want to spend a lot of money on them, and we have no interest in traditional, mainstream wedding rings. We want something simple, different, and not made out of gold. We live in a town that doesn’t have anything like that, so online is our best bet. But once we start looking around for wedding bands, all we find are expensive, boring, overly-decadent gold and diamond style rings… There’s just too much online to know where to start! -Sara

I applaud your decision to go the non-diamond, inexpensive route for your wedding rings. Diamonds are grossly overpriced, and of course there’s that whole blood diamond thing, so you’re so much better off going for either a different stone or no stone at all.

First things first: are you SURE there aren’t any custom jewelry makers in your neck of the woods? There’s nothing more awesome than designing your own bands, and if you find a good jewelry maker they can usually work within your budget. Plus, it’s cool to support a local artisan.

Here’s a first tip: Don’t look for “wedding rings” — they always cost more!

That said, if there really aren’t any around, you’re right: there are TONS of online options. Here’s a first tip: Don’t look for “wedding rings” — they always cost more! There’s this strange phenomenon of somehow if it has to do with a wedding it costs twice as much. Seriously. This isn’t just for rings, it’s for dresses, flowers, suits, chair rentals, everything. It’s a total racket. So when shopping online for rings, don’t search for “wedding bands.” Just look for rings that you like.

That said, here are a few links to get you started:

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To get away with the budget we’ve set our for ourselves, private property is a must for our location. This means Honey Buckets for everyone. If we go that route, how do we tactfully let guests know that’s the deal? -Jennifer Ernst

Porta potties have gotten a bad rap at music festivals and campgrounds. Typically, the blue-water nightmares at crowded outdoor events are poorly maintained and abused by drunks, and you’re more likely to find a turd on the toilet seat than you are a roll of toilet paper. But have you ever been in a freshly-delivered porta potty? They’re actually just fine! Clean, unsmelly, and totally inoffensive. If you get porta potties for the property where you’re hosting your wedding, you’ll see that they aren’t as bad as you thought. But porta potties are secretly hilarious to everyone, and your goal is to make the most of that.

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As an offbeat bride I come from an offbeat family, yet I have been amazed at the expectations that have come up from both sides of our families. How do I manage the expectations of so many family members, while still keeping the vision of our own, unique wedding intact? -Summer Pierre

Isn’t that so weird, how even the most nontraditional of families still have expectations about what a wedding should and shouldn’t be? Suddenly hippie mothers are hurt because you’re not wearing grandmother’s veil, and hip uncles reveal that while they might seem like a non-practicing Jews, they’re actually mortified that you’re making your chuppa out of PVC.

It can skew both ways, too: I spoke to a UK bride named Sabrina who told me that her free spirited mother was mortified (AGHAST!) at the prospect of her daughter having bridesmaids.

I wanted a wedding party, which caused absolute havoc in my untraditional family. My mother kept screeching “Bridesmaids? BRIDESMAIDS?” like I’d suggested roasting babies over an open fire. But I wanted to get married with these women around me; they’re part of who I am.

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