Professional florist and member of the Offbeat Bride Tribe Tiffany Saul aka. Ragdoll shares with us 15 insider tips that florists don't want you to know! Oh and PS: All photos in this post are from the Offbeat Bride Flickr pool — click the photo if you want to learn more about the flowers pictured.

So I am a florist who strictly does wedding work, cake toppers, centerpieces, floral dog collars, and the usual, all for brides on limited budgets. I was visiting a friend of mine at her work (a big money sucking floral shop) and I over heard some things that I could not believe.

A bride was doing a consultation and the florist she was talking to kept trying to "up-sell" or downgrade every idea the bride had! There was nothing wrong with her ideas at all, except for the fact that they wouldn't put enough money in the florist pocket. It was sick. But the sickest part about it was that the bride agreed with every bad idea that the money hungry florist said. By the time my friend finished her lunch break, her coworker added at least a couple hundred more dollars to the unsuspecting bride's budget.

So I felt that I needed to share some tips with you. Tips from an honest, budget friendly florist:

Continue reading "How to not get screwed by your florist, by Tiffany Saul" →

My fiancé and I are looking to have an informalish wedding and don't want anyone to have to wear a tux. We both think suits/sports coats/tweed jackets would be more appropriate for the groom and his men. But we also don't want the groom's men to have to dish out for new suits. I don't know if I'm comfortable with four men putting together an outfit on their own, even with guidelines. I'm not obsessed with them being 100% matchy, but I would like them to wear something coordinated, clean, and pressed. What other affordable options are there for men not renting tuxes? -Angela

Oh, we got lotsa options! Here's a little non-tux inspiration for you:

Continue reading "Non-tux attire for groomsmen" →

My fiance and I have been putting off the entire wedding largely because we are both pretty shy, introverted people. We're both are very anxious about being the center of attention. Besides cutting down the guest list, do you have any brilliant ideas for how we can pull this off without getting ulcers from stage fright? -Anwen

If you're terrified about your ceremony, the key is going to be having a great officiant. Someone who can absorb all that stage-fright for you, and really take command over the space. Someone, maybe, who might even speak about zombies.

Also, keep your vows super short and sweet. Instead of memorizing them, have your officiant do "repeat after me" vows.

You may also want to do what we did and schedule some time just the two of you immediately after the ceremony. You can read more about this in my book.

Avoid having either of you make formalized speeches, and do what you can to keep the number of toasts low. Ask two friends or family members to do toasts and then stand up and say "Thank you!" and turn up the music so it's clear the time for toasts is dunzo.

Keep the tone of the wedding light and casual: less formal = less cause for freak-outs.

Also, make liberal use of what I call "The I Love You Break." Here's how it works:

Continue reading "Weddings for shy people" →

You know you're an offbeat bride when…

By Cassie…

…you ask your engaged friend, "What are your centerpieces going to be, and how are you making them?" and she looks at you funny and says the florist is bringing them. Then you remember, oh yeah, centerpieces are traditionally beautiful flower arrangements brought in by florists, not the homemade concoctions made from a combination of dried gourds, vintage buttons, wind-up toys, and mini cast-iron bicycles that you were planning on.

…your relatives think your engagement must be off just because they can't find a wedding website/registry for you on The Knot.

…you ask a bride-to-be what color her dress is and she says, "Like, do you mean ivory vs. white?" and you remember not everyone considers red/purple/rainbow/polka-dotted dresses for their wedding day.

Continue reading "You know you're an offbeat bride when… (by Cassie)" →

My darling fiance and I are going to be building our wedding from the ground up, and as a fellow obsessive planner, I'm enthralled to inject our personalities into every aspect of the ceremony. The only problem is this: I can't get him to offer much input, as his response tends to be "It's your day, and as long as we're married at the end, you can do whatever you want." That's sweet, I guess, but it's not MY day, it's OUR DAY! How can I get him involved in the planning without making him feel forced or out of his element? -Jess

This is an awesome opportunity for the two of you to sit down and reconstruct the whole "This is the bride's special daaaaaay, and the groom is just an accessory" bullshit. Your marriage is about the two of you, and your wedding should be about the two of you, too. Many men are raised to believe that weddings simply are a woman's place — that they owe it to their fiances and everyone else to just sit quietly and nod. That they have no right to have opinions.

That's bullshit: you're setting up dynamics for your marriage with your wedding, and each partner needs to ask themselves "Do I want quietly nodding to be the dynamic of this relationship?"

Then again, you can't make your fiance care about certain aspects of the wedding that may not interest him…

Continue reading "Getting your offbeat groom involved" →

So, you your family/friends are freaking about about your plans for a tiny simple wedding in your backyard. Or about how your sweety wants to carry a pirate sword for the ceremony. Or about how you're wearing a black dress instead of a white one. Whatever: you told 'em something, and they've freaked out.

While every situation is different, I decide to write up a few copy 'n' paste responses that y'all could use in your conversations with your family & friends. Obviously, these would need tweaking depending on your particular conflict, but hopefully the respectful but firm tone will help you hold your ground while also keeping the peace:

Continue reading "Copy 'n' paste conflict resolution (aka How to say "fuck off" and "I love you" and "this conversation is over" all at the same time)" →

Last week's Why you should propose to your boyfriend post was a big hit, so I'm continuing on with Part 2: HOW to propose to your boyfriend.

Of course there are as many ways to propose to your boyfriend as their are people reading this website, but when considering proposing, here are a few things to consider:

1. Have lots of conversations with him about marriage and commitment, so that you know you're on the same page. Do you share ideas and values? Do you share a common outlook? Do you both want to do this?
2. If you're not sure he'd feel comfortable being proposed to, find a casual way to find out. Share a story about another woman who proposed (I've got one coming up for you!) to see how he responds.
3. If you want to really twist the tradition on its ear, consider asking his mother for his hand in marriage! This list of how to ask a man for his daughter's hand in marriage is actually pretty helpful, and has the bonus of being slightly amusing when you flip the genders: "Promise [her] that you’ll take care of [her son] for the rest of [his] life."
4. Pick a symbolic gift, if you want one. It totally doesn't have to be a ring (who remembers the "engagement lighter" mentioned in my book?)
5. Start scheming! The web is FILLED with proposal ideas, but I'm guessing crafting one unique to your relationship would be way more special than any over-engineered feat of romance.

Want a great story to use as an example? Keep hear how one OBT member proposed to her boyfriend…

Continue reading "Proposing Part 2: How to propose to your boyfriend" →

Family members can get concerned when you say things like, "We're going to have zombies in our wedding vows!" But here's solid proof that your vows can include zombies and still be touching and heartfelt ceremony.

Here are the words recently read by Leslie Light, the friend who officiated over Michelle & Matthew's Halloween wedding:

Dearly loved friends and relations, I have the honor of welcoming you all to this ceremony, in which we will wed Matt and Michelle to each other.

They asked me to say a few words to set the proper mood and tone for their wedding.

I thought for quite some time about what I would say, discarding metaphors and quotes of love, before finally settling on a topic near to their hearts – Today I’m going to say a few words about zombies.

Zombies. The shambling ghouls of black and white Saturday matinees and the quick, ravenous monsters of modern horror are all suffering from the same disease – disconnection – from the world around them and from each other.

And aren’t we all there sometimes?

Don’t we shuffle to work, monosyllabic, until we get our caffeine, and then go through the motions of work and house as if completely unaware of other people? Don’t we set our sights on one desire after another, rushing from experience to experience without actually stopping to enjoy any of it?

Continue reading "Zombies + Wedding Ceremony = Genuinely touching?!" →