Finally, a checklist for offbeat brides! Obviously, no checklist can work for everyone, but this one is hopefully a bit more slanted toward offbeat concerns. That said, it assumes you’re got about a seven month engagement — some of you are waaay longer, and some of you manage to do it all in three months. Your mileage may vary.

So, now it’s time to print this out and start checking the boxes!

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Any suggestions for how to “dress up” a bride with eyeglasses? I wear wire rimmed glasses that are a subtle cat-eye shape (can’t be too crazy since I work in a hospital) and I can’t wear contacts b/c of a medical condition. However, I find that glasses tend to “dress down” any fancy outfit I wear and I never see wedding photos where the bride has glasses. Any experience out there? -Kerith

Seems like there are two strategies you could use for wearing glasses at your wedding:

1. “My frames are a part of my face!” (ie, stick with the glasses you’ve got)
If you love your frames and feel like they’re really part of your face and identity, or are planning a low-key, mellow wedding, stick with the glasses you’ve got. If you’re a make-uppy type, you could go for extra dramatic eye make-up under your usual specs to add some flair. Dude: when was the last time you tried quality fake eyelashes? Bridget Bardot in spectacles anyone?

2. “My frames are part of my wedding outfit!” (ie, get new ones)
Wearing a pair of one-of-a-kind frames that aren’t your usuals would make a great visual impact on your wedding — I say go for frames that coordinate with your dress. To be even more daring and dramatic, go for frames that coordinate with your flowers. Let your glasses be an extension of your bouquet: a visual splash! You could also go super light and understated — ie frameless lenses that barely show.

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I appreciated this post from a message board I found in my referral logs:

People planning alternative weddings sometimes think that by having an alternative wedding they’re automatically avoiding the scariness that comes with the Great White. But the same sort of problems apply: you can be fixated on the party and not the marriage; you can turn into a frightening Bridezilla still; you can over-spend; you can over-tax everyone else; you can still show unrestrained greed.

I would like to add to my advice in the video: if you work it right, having a mother-in-law who’s an event planner could be a really awesome thing! I’d also like to open it up to my beloved offbeat brides and ask all you: how would you make the most of having a MIL who’s a wedding planner, but who has some traditional ideas for your wedding?

Right now, the issue that I’ve stumbled upon is invitation wording. The wedding is being hosted by the groom and I, and it would be completely unlike us to just include the traditional “First-name Middle-name Last-name and First-name Middle-name Last-name request the pleasure of your blah blah blah” Please help! —Lisette

Ooh, if you think using your full names is traditional, I hate to think what you’d think of ye olde “Mr. and Mrs. Smith invite you to join them in a celebration of love as their daughter, Bride, is united in marriage to Mr. Groom, son of Mr. and Mrs. Brown.” Bleah!

Wedding invitation wording really just comes down to who’s paying. This page is a veritable “choose your own adventure” of traditional/formal wording, depending on who’s paying. It’s very complicated (what do you do about step-parents? What if your sibling is chipping in?) and (yawn!) oh so stiff and dull.

Dull as these traditions may be, however, my only regret from our invitations (which we wrote from scratch — they’re in my book — complete with my embarrassing invite typo) is that we completely ignored the whole “if your parents are helping, include their names on the invite” rule of thumb. (We split the cost of our $6000 wedding three ways: us, his dad, my dad.)

That in mind, I’ve got a few suggestions for you …

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My fiance and I are having a bit of trouble (okay, a lot of trouble) figuring out how to entertain our guests during our reception. The whole dinner and dancing thing really doesn’t suit us, but when I’ve asked for advice from the “professionals” in our area, their eyes glaze over at the thought of not having a father-daughter dance, etc, etc. —Lauren

As a semi-retired raver, I simply can’t imagine not dancing — but I realize that’s MY brand of weird and not everyone else’s. If you don’t like dancing, ug: there’s nothing worse than hosting a miserable, requisite dance floor that you spend the whole night avoiding.

Luckily for you, there are lots of non-dancing options for your guests …

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I have short hair and have no interest in growing it out for the wedding. When I do searches for short hairstyles, you would not believe the psychotic blowout do’s that come up. Where can I find a good selection of cool short hairstyles online? -Nicole

Nicole, look no further! I’m not sure how short you mean by short (inch-long pixie cut or chin-length bob?) or whether you’re curly or straight or wavy, but regardless short hair means you can go high drama with your style. I went and scoured the archives and a few of my favorite shots from the photo pool, and here’s what I came up with for you …

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Three offbeat bride questions get answered this time:

• Can I have multiple wedding showers in different cities?
• Do I have to have his bratty niece in the ceremony?
• And if I’m keeping my last name, how should we be presented after the ceremony?