You can thank OBT member "Curly Fries" for the following ring shopping tip. We pulled this from the "British Offbeat Brides" group on the OBT.

The German and I bought our wedding rings last week and followed the most awesome tip from a friend of a friend. Forgive me if this is totally obvious but we had no idea that we could do it so I thought I would share…

Continue reading "A tip for ring shopping from a UK bride" →

Last month, Meg over at A Practical Wedding wrote a great post about the stories that we tell each other about life transitions. It seems as though, during wedding planning (and, as I'm learning, childbearing — and as I suspect most big life transitions) we tell each other a lot of scary stories.

I mean, of course people want to share their experiences with each other. But all too often this storytelling slips into fear mongering. It's sort of a pre-emptive commiseration — an anticipatory sing-song of Oh, you'll seeeee…. It's our way of telling each other, "I had this experience, and I'm assuming my experience is universal and you'll have the exact same one. And mine was like this, so yours will be too — and then we can roll our eyes and bond over how awful it was together." We all love a common enemy, and all too often in pursuit of this shared experience, we project our challenges onto others.

Oh, you'll seeeee… people say once you announce your engagement…

Continue reading "Fear mongering & you'll seeeee" →

Unless you are one of those lucky ladies who never, ever has trouble finding items that fit you perfectly straight off the rack, there’s a good chance your bridal attire will require alterations. If you are having something custom-made, you will probably need to have at least two fittings. (In my experience, three fittings for a mass-produced wedding dress is common.)

If at all possible, start with a dress (or outfit) that is your size — or very, very close to it. While it is often possible to size a dress up or down, don’t count on being able to take in or let out a dress by more than one or two sizes. Many dresses do not contain enough seam allowance to let out that much -– and with fabrics like velvet and satin, the original seam lines will show. (With satin, original seam lines can resemble track marks, hardly an appropriate look for a special occasion.)

If you have not yet purchased your attire, PLEASE resist the urge to buy something that is on sale but several sizes too big. Garments that are much too large for the intended wearer often need to basically be taken apart and re-cut in order to hang properly on the body. This is such a labor-intensive process it can quickly eat whatever money you saved –- and then some.

Continue reading "Bridal Fittings 101: advice from a former tailor shop employee" →

I'm a bridesmaid in a close friend's wedding this summer — R is transgender, and she's struggling to find a dress on a budget. R is a gorgeous woman who gets her curves from her post-transition hormones and her shoulders from her pre-transition adolescence. Dresses that look gorgeous on a model online look totally different when she tries them on, and she doesn't have the budget to have something completely hand-made. Since you did such a great write-up about finding suits for FTM transgender dudes and butch women, I was hoping you might be able to help us out a bit. -Beth

Thanks for writing, Beth — and congratulations to R on her engagement! I've got opinions a plenty, but I figured I'd bring in some experts to help me answer your question. I shared your email with four of my favorite independent wedding dress designers, and here was their advice…

Continue reading "Finding the perfect wedding dress for a transgender bride" →

Is it too presumptive to tell my bridesmaids that I don't want a bachelorette party OR a bridal shower? All of my bridesmaids live out of my state and I've been with my fiance for 7 years, and just don't feel the need to collect any more lingerie or eat a penis cake. Is it alright for me to just propose to my bridesmaids exactly what I want — us to get together on the morning of the wedding for coffee and to have a morning of beauty: hair, makeup, and manicures. -Courtney

Courtney, in a word: YES. In fact, your bridesmaids will likely be hugely relieved to have you tell them A) you don't want them to organize additional parties or showers and that B) instead you'd like to pamper them the morning of the wedding. I'd wager that there are many bridesmaids out there who would heave a huge sigh of relief at the news that you don't want a penis cake.

Continue reading "How to make things easy for your bridesmaids — no penis cake necessary" →