Any suggestions for how to "dress up" a bride with eyeglasses? I wear wire rimmed glasses that are a subtle cat-eye shape (can't be too crazy since I work in a hospital) and I can't wear contacts b/c of a medical condition. However, I find that glasses tend to "dress down" any fancy outfit I wear and I never see wedding photos where the bride has glasses. Any experience out there? -Kerith

Seems like there are two strategies you could use for wearing glasses at your wedding:

1. "My frames are a part of my face!" (ie, stick with the glasses you've got)
If you love your frames and feel like they're really part of your face and identity, or are planning a low-key, mellow wedding, stick with the glasses you've got. If you're a make-uppy type, you could go for extra dramatic eye make-up under your usual specs to add some flair. Dude: when was the last time you tried quality fake eyelashes? Bridget Bardot in spectacles anyone?

2. "My frames are part of my wedding outfit!" (ie, get new ones)
Wearing a pair of one-of-a-kind frames that aren't your usuals would make a great visual impact on your wedding — I say go for frames that coordinate with your dress. To be even more daring and dramatic, go for frames that coordinate with your flowers. Let your glasses be an extension of your bouquet: a visual splash! You could also go super light and understated — ie frameless lenses that barely show.

Continue reading "Brides in glasses" →

I appreciated this post from a message board I found in my referral logs:

People planning alternative weddings sometimes think that by having an alternative wedding they're automatically avoiding the scariness that comes with the Great White. But the same sort of problems apply: you can be fixated on the party and not the marriage; you can turn into a frightening Bridezilla still; you can over-spend; you can over-tax everyone else; you can still show unrestrained greed.

Offbeat Advice #3 from arielmeadow on Vimeo.

I would like to add to my advice in the video: if you work it right, having a mother-in-law who's an event planner could be a really awesome thing! I'd also like to open it up to my beloved offbeat brides and ask all you: how would you make the most of having a MIL who's a wedding planner, but who has some traditional ideas for your wedding?

Right now, the issue that I've stumbled upon is invitation wording. The wedding is being hosted by the groom and I, and it would be completely unlike us to just include the traditional "First-name Middle-name Last-name and First-name Middle-name Last-name request the pleasure of your blah blah blah" Please help! —Lisette

Ooh, if you think using your full names is traditional, I hate to think what you'd think of ye olde "Mr. and Mrs. Smith invite you to join them in a celebration of love as their daughter, Bride, is united in marriage to Mr. Groom, son of Mr. and Mrs. Brown." Bleah!

Wedding invitation wording really just comes down to who's paying. This page is a veritable "choose your own adventure" of traditional/formal wording, depending on who's paying. It's very complicated (what do you do about step-parents? What if your sibling is chipping in?) and (yawn!) oh so stiff and dull.

Want more invitation info?

• Non-froofy wedding websites with matching invites!
• Some of my favorite custom wedding invitations
• Badass DIY wedding ideas

Dull as these traditions may be, however, my only regret from our invitations (which we wrote from scratch — they're in my book — complete with my embarrassing invite typo) is that we completely ignored the whole "if your parents are helping, include their names on the invite" rule of thumb. (We split the cost of our $6000 wedding three ways: us, his dad, my dad.)

I think the best rule of thumb is to stay pretty basic — not formal, but basic. People are known to skim invites, and if you get too cutesy, too clever, or too longwinded, you increase the likelihood that someone gets confused. And remember: if you're having a nontraditional wedding you want to minimize confusion, because you're going to be maximizing disorientation. I vote for straightforward wording, with maybe one little piece of flair tossed in.

There's a related discussion about this topic over on the offbeat bride tribe, but I think my favorite collection of nontraditional invitation text I've seen is in this amazing thread over at kvetch. I had a blast re-reading the old thread and picking a few of my favorites:

No family mentions

This makes the most sense if you're paying for your wedding yourself

with joyous hearts
we invite you to attend
the wedding of

ME
and
HIM

date, place, time.

food and merriment to follow
reception location
time

We joyfully invite you to our wedding celebration.
On this day we will marry the one
we laugh with, live for, dream with, love.

Please join
Feline
and
Canine
at Time
on Date
Two thousand and four

Place

Buffet dinner and dancing to follow.

Girl met Girl.

For the rest of the story
join us on
(date)
at (time)

(location)
St. Paul, Minnesota

as Lauren
and Rebecca
celebrate their commitment.

Light dinner and dancing to follow.

You are invited to a celebration
of the beginning of our new life together
as we are united as husband and wife
on Saturday, the eleventh of September
two thousand and four
at six thirty in the evening
(Address), Los Angeles, California

Food, Wine and Merriment to immediately follow!

Please join us
to share our joy and support our love
As we exchange vows and are united
in the commitment of marriage.

Speeder Middle Last
And
Munkey Middle Hislast

Saturday the twelfth of March
at Half past five o'clock

The Naples Room
Milwaukee

Dinner and Dancing to Follow

Because your love and friendship
have guided and inspired us,
we invite you to join us as we exchange
our wedding vows.

FireDragon
and
FireRam

Sunday, the eighteenth of September,
two-thousand and five
four o'clock in the afternoon

amidst the sequoias
at The Beautiful State Park in
My Hometown, California

reception and rock 'n' roll to follow

Ms. Crazydoglady
and
Mr. Crazydoglady

Because your love and friendship
have helped us become who we are,
we joyfully invite you to share in our
celebration of love and commitment

Together we laugh, we dream, we love,
and on this day, we marry

Friday, the fourth of November
Two Thousand and Five
Eight o’clock in the evening
Cool place
Blue county, Red State

Dessert reception immediately following

Family included

While I don't think you need to get into "Mr. So 'n' So, parents of such 'n' such," it is nice to recognize family if they're helping you foot the bill. These examples include several ways to do that.

Together with our parents we invite you
to share our joy and support our love
as we are exchange vows and are united
in the commitment of marriage

SnowKate's full name
and
SnowMate's full name

Saturday, the thirtieth of April
two thousand and five
at five o'clock

Winery Name
Napa, California

Food and festivities to follow

Please share our joy
at the wedding of

Ruchby
daughter of RuchbyMom and RuchbyDad
and
Mr. Ruchby
son of Dad and Mom MrRuchby

Monday, the fifteenth of September
two thousand and three
at eleven o’clock in the morning
Glen Oaks Country Club
Farmington Hills, Michigan

Feast and merriment to follow

This day I will marry my best friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love
Reenie
and
Mr. NNG
together with their children,
invite you to share in the joy and
celebration of their marriage
and the joining of their families
on Friday, the thirtieth of December
two thousand and five
at half past six o'clock
in the evening
Church
Street Address
Our Town, Ohio

Love was meant to be shared
with parents, family and friends

Melfirst Mellast and FHfirst FHlast

together with our parents
Melmom1st and Meldad1st Mellast &
FHmom1st and FHdad1st FHlast

Invite you to share our celebration
of lifelong love and commitment
in the ceremony uniting us in marriage

Saturday, the nineteenth of August
two thousand and six
at half past five in the evening

Name Of Site
12345 Main Street
City, California

Dinner and merriment to follow

My fiance and I are having a bit of trouble (okay, a lot of trouble) figuring out how to entertain our guests during our reception. The whole dinner and dancing thing really doesn't suit us, but when I've asked for advice from the "professionals" in our area, their eyes glaze over at the thought of not having a father-daughter dance, etc, etc. —Lauren

As a semi-retired raver, I simply can't imagine not dancing — but I realize that's MY brand of weird and not everyone else's. If you don't like dancing, ug: there's nothing worse than hosting a miserable, requisite dance floor that you spend the whole night avoiding.

Luckily for you, there are lots of non-dancing options for your guests …

Continue reading "Dance-free wedding reception" →