I love my fiance but GOD, he's such a fucking GUY. It seems like all the wedding planning stuff ALWAYS FALLS TO ME. He says things like "Oh but honey, you're so good at it." Why won't he help me!? -Jen
Jen, this is a perennial question, and it seems to be almost as much of an issue with offbeat grooms as for more, well, stereotypical ones.
I wish I could completely skip over the gender issue on this one, but I have to at least acknowledge it. I don't know what there is to say about the fact that some men don't enjoy planning weddings. Is it an embodiment culture-driven gender influences? Probably. Could your guy be lazy? Maybe. Is making gender generalizations about it self-reinforcing these very gender influences you're decrying? Most likely. Are there lesbian couples who deal with this same interest-in-wedding-planning imbalance who don't reduce it to a gender issue? Yes.
We could debate why it happens and what it means and who's to blame for a long time. But really, that's not accomplishing much — what can you actually DO about it? What can you actually LEARN from it? Continue reading "Acknowledging and learning from partnership imbalances OR "My stupid fiance won't help me with wedding planning"" →




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