OBT member Cassie has written a great advice post that I thought I'd share with the masses.

I've been an old married lady for just under a week now, and I thought I'd offer some handy-dandy advice for those of you still gearing up to walk down the aisle! So without further adieu, here are my top 10 pieces of advice for brides to be:

10. For the love of God, don't leave everything to the last minute. Just don't!
I am a huge procrastinator, but I regret leaving so much to the last minute. Granted, there are some things you just can't do in advance, like frosting the cake, etc. However, there were plenty of things I could have done in advance but didn't. I was up until nearly 2am doing last-minute wedding things when I should have been in bed. Trust me, when you get down to the wire, you will want to hanging out with your out-of-town guests and not putting the finishing touches on your wedding programs.

9. Eat something. And not just on the wedding day.
The old "make sure you eat something!" advice is pretty tried and true for brides. But, in my experience, this is super important for the days leading up to the wedding, as well. A few days before my wedding, I was so nervous and excited that I lost my appetite completely. And I am a chick who ALWAYS has a big appetite. So have a plan, keep some easy-to-prepare meals at home, enlist friends or your FH to ensure you've had something to eat, or do whatever it takes to make sure you don't go without.

Continue reading "My Top 10 Wedding Lessons, by Cassie" →

When I get married, I am not planning on changing my name. Our families are not forward-thinking and are bound to assume I will take my future husband's last name. My family tends to give money/checks at weddings and I am concerned that they will write out checks to "Mr. and Mrs…" and we wont be able to deposit them. How do we let our families know that I'm keeping my name with out mentioning gifts on the invitation? -Ticia

Ah, the never-ending offbeat bride issue of last names. This specific issue's actually got an easy solution: there's no need to mention gifts or last names on the invitation. If you receive checks written out to "Mr. & Mrs. His Last Name," just have your then-husband sign the back of the checks to deposit them. When checks are written to two people, only one person needs to sign the back. Easy peasy.

But there's a larger issue, of course: letting your families know after the wedding that you're keeping your last name. That's got a relatively easy solution, too… thank you cards, which offer two opportunities to share the news:

• Your return address on the envelope should include both of your full names.
• Sign the cards with your full names — and you want to really drive the point home, draw a little arrow to your last name and note: Yep, I kept my last name!

Ultimately, it will likely still take your families a while to fully get it. But this will ensure that you've done your part to get the news out there.

Oh and PS: For those of you (brides, grooms, straight, gay, whoever) who are leaning towards changing your last names, I'm now partnering to offer offbeat name-changing kits.

I'm having a dilemma about armpit hair. I haven't shaved my hairies in YEARS, and I really don't want to, but I'm feeling totally out on my own here! Have you got any advice or photos for brides considering rocking the pit hair on their wedding day? -Kit

This is a deeply personal (and dare I say political!) decision, so while I can't give you a cut 'n' dry answer I can provide a few questions from a few different angles can help you make the decision for yourself…

Continue reading "Should I shave my armpits for my wedding day?" →

So, what do you do if you don't FEEL like a bride? I don't know what to do; I want my man (I'm madly, head over heels in love), I want a wedding (I love parties and I love planning), but I just haven't felt like a bride … Does anyone else go through this? -Meghan

Hmm: loving your partner, wanting a wedding, and loving parties … sounds like you feel like a bride to me!

I think the issue here is less than you don't "feel like a bride" and more that you have some sort of preconception about what feeling like a bride is supposed to entail. Obsession with wedding magazines? Sudden teary-eyed-ness over ring pillows? Burgeoning interest in romantic comedies? Sobbing over other people's weddings? Bursting out singing "I feel pretty!" in front of friends? I didn't feel any of these things. Who told you brides feel some certain way?

For me, "feeling like a bride" felt just like being myself, but maybe just a tiny bit more excited because there was a big party on the horizon and I got to dress up. By my standards, "feeling like a bride" could include anything from dorking out over which action figures to put on your cake to scheming the bride & groom's ceremonial First Dirt Bike Scrimmage. And for some brides like Jen Moon, yes: it DOES mean bursting into "I feel pretty," as minute 1:20 of this video clearly demonstrates.

I think the better question to ask yourself than "Why don't I feel like I think a bride should?" is "What does being a bride feel like to me?"

A few days ago I got asked a question via Twitter about about some suggestions for good alternatives to the first dance. Offbeat Bride has broached the topic of dance-free wedding receptions before, but what if you like to dance, but you just don't want to have to be the ONLY ONES dancing? Or, maybe you love being the only ones under the spotlight, but dancing isn't exactly your thing, what are your other options?

First Song 
We've seen many variations on this idea — there's been first songs, first karaoke, musically inclined couples have even put a band together in order to perform at their wedding. I've been to a wedding where only the bride was a musician, and she performed a song that she wrote for groom instead of them both doing the first dance.

First Drink
Instead of mixing your unity cocktail during the ceremony, save it for the reception in leu of a first dance!

Kicking off your reception with a first drink is quick and painless and does double duty for shy brides & grooms as it can help to calm nerves and will probably help put you in the mood to dance later on… with everyone else, of course.

Continue reading "7 First Dance Alternatives for Dance-shy Couples" →