Ariel,
I received my copy of Offbeat Bride in the mail yesterday and am already more than halfway through it. I just wanted to say.. THANK YOU.

My partner Georgia and I are far from traditional – we're gay, which is probably the biggest (and most exciting) challenge in planning a wedding (yes, a real wedding – thank you Canada!!!). She's the long-haired, broken-shit-fixin', boy-clothes-wearin', hairy-legged, likes to be spooned gender enigma, and I'm the equally puzzling short haired, boy's-name-havin', makeup-loving girly girl. Needless to say, we're throwing most tradition right out the window.

Continue reading "Floyd & Georgia feel the love" →

Hi, Ariel. I just wanted to express thanks to you for saving me from my mother. She had been pestering me to carry flowers, which I had absolutely no interest in at all, whatsoever. After many impassioned pleas and fights, I decided to email her a link to offbeatbride — particularly the response you wrote to the girl who didn't want to carry anything on her trip down the aisle.

My mother called me and told me that she had never even considered that flowers were optional — it just seemed like something you had to do. Long story even longer, she spent an hour perusing the site and told me how much fun it all looked like, and how she just assumed since she had always seen things done a particular way, it had never occurred to her that it didn't have to be that way.

I don't know how you managed to get it across to her, but you've not only opened her eyes, you've helped me to be more understanding of where she's coming from. Thank you so much for making this ridiculous and incredibly arduous process a little bit more human, and a little bit less stressful. -Trish

P.S.: When I walk down the aisle with no flowers in hand, I will be secretly whispering "Thank you, Ariel!"

Aww, you're so welcome Trish … and Trish's mom! I'm actually curious if there are any other mothers-of-the-offbeat-bride reading. Mamas, are you out there?

I just finished reading your book about a week ago and I would just like to say THANK YOU SO MUCH, ARIEL! I have been having the worst anxiety since my fiance and I got engaged. Between the nagging questions from family…"why not a church?" "why two years?" "what do you mean you're not wearing white?!?" to everyone and their mother (literally) giving me unwanted advice. We still don't have any details about our nuptials but I finally feel like I wont have a meltdown while we plan the wedding we want. I'm sure you hear this all the time, but again, thank you thank you thank you! You saved this weirdo girl and her punk lover from going insane. Love, Beth (& Ace)

• sniffle* You're welcome, Beth (& Ace). Thanks for making my day.

I am a totally offbeat bride wanna-be … completely trapped in a semi-traditional girl. Last week I sent out save the date cards. Awesome — designed using my Photoshop skills, picture of us, love it. Then came the mailing. I went to Target to buy a sharpie to write the addresses on the envelopes. I almost paid $12 for a pack of 15 Sharpies because I wanted the brown one. Why the brown one? Because it matches the wedding color scheme.

Sometimes I need to be saved from myself. Thanks for the site — it really helps me keep perspective sometimes and be true to who we are and what we want. From reminding myself that it's much more sane to buy a $1 black sharpie to making me feel like it's ok not to want to talk about my wedding 24/7, you're doing wonders for us girls who haven't quite crossed the "I'm wearing a red dress if I damn well please" line yet. So thank you for supporting my semi-independentness. — Les

P.S. I realize that purchasing a black sharpie over a brown one doesn't make me an independent bride, but it shows me that I haven't completely gone over to the dark side.

Les, you are so welcome for the inspiration and perspective. To me, offbeat isn't a toggle switch — it's not an are or aren't. It's not a contest. It's all shades of grey and what's important is thinking for yourself and making decisions based on your own beliefs and values instead of the defaults that are spoon-fed to brides everywhere. Regardless, this site is here to inspire and challenge all brides who need a little more offbeat in their lives … not just the red dress wearers.

Another installment of Mailbag!

Hey Ariel … I just want to say thank you. I am with a great guy and have slowly been planning my wedding with him for a couple years now. I was never 'that girl' who dreamt of her wedding since the age of 3… so when we started talking marriage, I completely dove into all the books and magazines I could get my hands on. I've been gathering images and stories to try to make 'our day' as much about us as possible.

I even joined a couple wedding websites (which I will not name) and posted some of my ideas to see what other women had to say… To my surprise, my unique ideas were not as appreciated as I would've thought. Although I was up for constructive criticism from other brides, I was NOT up to having grown women pick apart my entire life.

Continue reading "Brides behaving badly online" →