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Letters and emails from offbeat brides. Want to get in touch? If you're ok with me publishing your email, be sure to note in your email that it's for the Mailbag!

I think that stealing a wedding dress design and having it made in China (in a place that is probably a sweatshop) is really unethical. It upsets me, as it both screws the original designer (who is probably a creative type who you would want to hang out with) and the workers … all for a dress you will wear once.

Then again, I am not poor, and I can afford to pay the designer direct for some of the dresses I like and I will check that they are not made unethically.

Am I just being a judgmental bitch cos I have the money to "do the right thing" here? Am I assuming that people have not thought about these issue, but actually they have and are fine with it? -Anonymous

What a thick and meaty ethical question! Thanks so much for bringing the issue up. Ultimately, it's up to each of us to decide where their consumer values align — this is bigger than weddings. This is about pirating music, buying local produce, and world trade issues. I'm no consumer values expert, so really all I can do is share my personal perspective and values…

Continue reading "The ethics of a cheap off-shore wedding dress" →

I submitted my wedding months ago and it still hasn't been posted. I am not trying to be rude or pressuring you into posting my wedding, but I am just curious as to why it was never put up. I think we had the most punk rock glamour fest wedding imaginable! There wasn't one thing we didn't DIY ourselves.

Thanks so much for taking the time to write, and let me say this right off the bat: YOUR WEDDING WAS AMAZING. I've looked through the photos, and it was amazing. (Especially that one bridesmaid with the cocktail cleavage!) I haven't had a chance to feature it yet, but it was amazing.

Yours isn't the first email I've received asking this question, so I'm wondering if it might be helpful to share a bit about the process of selecting to weddings to feature on Offbeat Bride…

Continue reading "Why didn't you feature my wedding?" →

I just got this email from a reader named Katy, and thought I would share it as part of my Mailbag series

n757540202_4407188_8508Recently, I was looking through the offbeat photo pool and came across picture after picture of weddings with ideas I had been throwing around for a while. This cake picture especially caught my eye. Months and months ago I had found a picture of a cake almost exactly like that, the chocolate dripping down, and honestly I fell IN LOVE with it. On another site, I found that exact cake topper. Yep, exact. In my little wedding obsessed mind I had put them together and…VOILA! dream wedding cake! And here it was, at another wedding, another bride's dream wedding cake.

Now at first, I was a little disappointed, I'll admit. It's like my unique, offbeat bride bubble had burst. "But…but…how is my wedding supposed to be unique? I'd wanted that cake! I'd wanted to rent a photo booth! I'd wanted converse shoes! I'd wanted a black dress! Boo!"

But then I thought about it, and I smiled…

Continue reading "Trends vs. Super Awesome Ideas" →

"Sometimes it seems harder to be original, but it takes so little to start being yourself. The race has a siren song if you let it. Let your voice be louder." -Miranda

I'm confused by the "trends" that have been emerging with Offbeat Bride. To me, it feels like the concept behind the book and the site are supposed to be "Offbeat = Personally Expressive," but lately it's been more of "Offbeat = Red Dress, Birdcage Veil, & Sneakers."

The message seems like it's getting lost. Instead of people getting swept up in mainstream insanity and wedding ideals, they're doing the exact same thing with the "Offbeat Wedding," like they're trying to fit into the trends. -Anonymous

Hoo-boy! This is something I think about a LOT actually, and it's way bigger than offbeat bride and wedding trends, although that's a part of it. Please, allow me to put on my sociologist hat and pontificate for a moment …

Continue reading "The fallacy of offbeat trends" →


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