I've written before about my decisions around calling the pictures of real weddings that I feature on this site "Wedding Porn." I consider the phrase a harmless, non-sexual twist on the voyeuristic thrill many folks planning their weddings get out of seeing other people's wedding ideas.

That said, I'm going to come out and admit that there IS one component of wedding porn that starts to feel just as unhealthy as typical porn: that's when lusting after some fantasy of what you could have starts to interfere with the reality of enjoying what you've got.

I see this when brides buy a dress, and then find another dress, and then pick a third dress because they keep seeing dresses they like online. I see it when people come up with five different wedding themes over the course of two months, and still can't quiiite decide. I read it between the lines of commenters who's enthusiasm for someone else's wedding starts to slip over the edge from inspiration ("ooh, I might want to integrate something like that in my wedding") to duplication ("I MUST HAVE THOSE EXACT SHOES WHERE DID YOU GET THEM TELL ME NOW NOW NOW!")

It worries me a little…

Continue reading "When to stop looking at wedding porn" →

Last year, Angela from New York's Milestone Images was just another offbeat bride planning her Chocolate-Themed Amusement Park Jewish-Pagan Handfasting. She recounts, "OBT members helped me brainstorm ideas, and we were this close to playing 'Red Rover, Red Rover' with the wedding party in lieu of a traditional first dance on August 9th, 2008."

And now here she is, back to show off her goods as a New York wedding photographer who travels up and down the East Coast. Here's a quick Q&A between me and Angela…

As a wedding photographer, how do you deal with the potential body image issues brides sometimes have?
There so much weight-related emotional fuckwittage surrounding wedding culture. Forget the images of emaciated cookie-cutter clone brides plastered across wedding magazines everywhere. I want to give a shout-out to my curvaceous, zaftig, Spanx-wearing sexy sistas. As the owner of a double chin myself, I pride myself on knowing the most flattering angles and stealth retouching skills for real women of every size. Real beauty, real people, really gorgeous photography.

Continue reading "Q&A with Angela from Milestone Images" →

I've got this theory about wedding photography and offbeat couples.

See, wedding photographers aren't just doing a service for you. You're also doing a service for them by providing images for use in their portfolios. And, let's be honest, which photos add more to a photographer's body of work: another traditional shot from a traditional wedding or a photo of a couple dressed as astronauts taking flight on their wedding day?

In other words, photos from your offbeat wedding may be of greater business benefit to a photographer … and therefore, photographers may be willing to negotiate a lower price.

I decided to test this theory by asking some of my favorite wedding photographers about their pricing policies and negotiating tips for non-traditional couples. Here's what I learned…

Continue reading "The offbeat advantage negotiating with wedding photographers" →

I recently featured a photo of a bride named Heather wearing her black wedding dress, and a commenter suggested interviewing her. Always one to oblige my readers, I tracked down Heather on Myspace, and fired away a few questions about what it was really like to wear a black wedding dress.

What made you decided on a black dress?
I'd originally bought a white dress about a year before the wedding, but every time I tried it on I didn’t feel like me and I was uncomfortable.

About three weeks before the wedding I was having breakfast with some friends explaining how I felt and I said "Why can't I wear a black dress?"

I wasn’t really considering it but they said, "You can do whatever you want."

That got me thinking, so I went to offbeatbride.com and found other brides in not only black but red, purple, and every other color imaginable.

Continue reading "Black wedding dress advice" →

Last week I introduced you to Dana Jay Bein, the wedding industry's premier male flower girl. First seen at Bobby & Clare's puppet wedding, Dana seemed to be such a hit with y'all, that I decided it was time for a gritty 1-on-1 interview with him.

Dana, was this the realization of a long-time dream?
I never thought I'd have flower girl on my resume … but to be honest I'd never ruled it out. That's just the type of person I am. Anything is possible. I'm open to life's opportunities!

Tell us about your journey to male flower girl.
Bobby (groom/giant) has been one of my best friends since college. We're both comedians so laughter and fun is inherently part of whatever we do.

To be honest, until Claire, I never really imagined Bobby as a married man. So when he told me he was engaged, I knew instantly that this wedding would be different. Deep down, I knew Bobby would have a surprise or two in store for the wedding party.

When Bobby approached me about the wedding, I was open minded and definitely prepared for anything he might propose. I'm used to doing outlandish and ridiculous things on a day to day basis so it was likely that he would up the ante for a special occasion.

To be honest, I don't even think he even asked me. I think he just said, "You're our flower girl."

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