When I get married, I am not planning on changing my name. Our families are not forward-thinking and are bound to assume I will take my future husband's last name. My family tends to give money/checks at weddings and I am concerned that they will write out checks to "Mr. and Mrs…" and we wont be able to deposit them. How do we let our families know that I'm keeping my name with out mentioning gifts on the invitation? -Ticia

Ah, the never-ending offbeat bride issue of last names. This specific issue's actually got an easy solution: there's no need to mention gifts or last names on the invitation. If you receive checks written out to "Mr. & Mrs. His Last Name," just have your then-husband sign the back of the checks to deposit them. When checks are written to two people, only one person needs to sign the back. Easy peasy.

But there's a larger issue, of course: letting your families know after the wedding that you're keeping your last name. That's got a relatively easy solution, too… thank you cards, which offer two opportunities to share the news:

• Your return address on the envelope should include both of your full names.
• Sign the cards with your full names — and you want to really drive the point home, draw a little arrow to your last name and note: Yep, I kept my last name!

Ultimately, it will likely still take your families a while to fully get it. But this will ensure that you've done your part to get the news out there.

Oh and PS: For those of you (brides, grooms, straight, gay, whoever) who are leaning towards changing your last names, I'm now partnering to offer offbeat name-changing kits.

You ladies know me: I'm really not one to talk that much about "shoulds" or "gottas" around weddings. But there's one "should" that I feel the need to emphasize: You really should send thank you cards for all gifts received during the course of planning your wedding with-in two months of the wedding itself.

First, a word about why. Yes, it's courteous. Yes, it's a way of showing how much you truly appreciate people's generosity. We all know these things and honestly, they should be enough to motivate each of us to carve out a couple nights to sit down with the new spouse and get to work on some cards.

But in the era of gifts ordered online and honeymoon registries, it's more than just common-sense courtesy:

Continue reading "Why you should start thinking about thank you cards before the wedding" →

I'm totally all SQUEE-y over these custom offbeat illustrations from butterflieskiss.com.

Donna, the illustrator who runs butterflieskiss.com crafts custom images that you could use on save the dates, wedding invitations, thank you cards, wedding favors … or even wedsites.

Let me let you in on a little secret: I'm tempted to commission Donna's illustrations for offbeatbride.com! I mean, does it get any more OBB than this lovely inked bride illustration?

Donna does illustrations catered to semi-traditional wedding invitations too, but she's got amazing images perfectly catered to diverse offbeat brides needs including goth and circus-y/vaudeville brides, lesbian brides, bollywood brides, and even pregnant brides!

And if those wedding-y illustrations too tame for you, Donna has another line — donna-matrix.com, catering to racier images perfect for bachelorette party invites or heck: even your wedding invitation if you're planning a fetishy wedding. (HOT!)

Donna's offering 10% off on custom illustrations when you mention offbeatbride.com — so get on that shit, ladies!

And who knows: next time I redesign, you might see some of Donna's stuff in the header of offbeatbride.com…