I love my fiance but GOD, he's such a fucking GUY. It seems like all the wedding planning stuff ALWAYS FALLS TO ME. He says things like "Oh but honey, you're so good at it." Why won't he help me!? -Jen

Jen, this is a perennial question, and it seems to be almost as much of an issue with offbeat grooms as for more, well, stereotypical ones.

I wish I could completely skip over the gender issue on this one, but I have to at least acknowledge it. I don't know what there is to say about the fact that some men don't enjoy planning weddings. Is it an embodiment culture-driven gender influences? Probably. Could your guy be lazy? Maybe. Is making gender generalizations about it self-reinforcing these very gender influences you're decrying? Most likely. Are there lesbian couples who deal with this same interest-in-wedding-planning imbalance who don't reduce it to a gender issue? Yes.

We could debate why it happens and what it means and who's to blame for a long time. But really, that's not accomplishing much — what can you actually DO about it? What can you actually LEARN from it?

Continue reading "Acknowledging and learning from partnership imbalances OR "My stupid fiance won't help me with wedding planning"" →

Academic Librarian, Copyright Specialist and OBT member "Mollyali" has written an impressive post on copyright issues and how they relate to your wedding photos. Read on and learn!

I'm really excited by the amazing success we had negotiating with our wedding photographer around copyright, and I wanted to share what we did with OBB.

Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer, I'm a librarian with a background in publishing who frequently does outreach and education about USA copyright issues. None of this is legal advice, etc.

Okay. So before I explain what our photographer is doing for us, you need a very very abbreviated introduction to copyright. (I'm sorry, I'm a librarian, I have to teach you things, I can't help myself)…

Continue reading "Copyright, Creative Commons, and your wedding photos" →

Unless you are one of those lucky ladies who never, ever has trouble finding items that fit you perfectly straight off the rack, there’s a good chance your bridal attire will require alterations. If you are having something custom-made, you will probably need to have at least two fittings. (In my experience, three fittings for a mass-produced wedding dress is common.)

If at all possible, start with a dress (or outfit) that is your size — or very, very close to it. While it is often possible to size a dress up or down, don’t count on being able to take in or let out a dress by more than one or two sizes. Many dresses do not contain enough seam allowance to let out that much -– and with fabrics like velvet and satin, the original seam lines will show. (With satin, original seam lines can resemble track marks, hardly an appropriate look for a special occasion.)

If you have not yet purchased your attire, PLEASE resist the urge to buy something that is on sale but several sizes too big. Garments that are much too large for the intended wearer often need to basically be taken apart and re-cut in order to hang properly on the body. This is such a labor-intensive process it can quickly eat whatever money you saved –- and then some.

Continue reading "Bridal Fittings 101: advice from a former tailor shop employee" →

OBT member "iLiveinmyLab" wrote this great advice post on how to shop for antiques for your wedding, inspired by her trip to a large antique fair!

I went to Texas Antique Weekend with a friend of mine recently. As it was the last day of the fair we were hoping to get some good deals. I, of course, was in my never ending search for random glass objects as decorations for the wedding. We arrived at the first set of antique shops around 10am and did not finish till around 5-ish (it was a long intense day) and I was able to find a few good things.

Here are some tips for those of you who are planning on going to an antique fair to hunt for wedding items any time soon (most of this list will work for shops too).

1. Plan ahead. Have a general idea of where you plan on going before you get there. The night before I printed off the map of where the antique booths/pavilions were supposed to be set up. If you don't know the layout of the area, it could get a bit more confusing and when you're trying to cover a LOT of ground in one day. It's best to go in with a general idea of where you plan to go before you get there.

2. Don't Go Alone. This might sound like an odd one, or a "be safe don't go alone" message but it's not. It's nice to have someone there to motivate you to keep going and keep you on track. Plus if you end up getting a bunch of stuff they're there to help carry! Also, you'll get tired during the day and having that extra person there to talk to and joke about the random stuff you see is wonderful. Plus, an extra set of eyes is always good for spotting something.

Continue reading "How to avoid getting ripped-off when shopping at antique stores & fairs" →

OBT member Ang (check out the new Ang avatar since she became a married lady!) is back with part two of her helpful "how to" on streaming your wedding in the internets. (See part one here.) Again, this is the perfect way to include the people who can't be at your wedding, as well as a way to let all your OBB friends share in the live action wedding porn! (Sounds dirty don't it?)  -Megan

Alright so we're using Ustream because it's got lots of cool gadgets and it's FREE!

STEP ONE:

When you first get to U Stream you need to sign up. Ala this…

STEP TWO:

Put in all your info. I made this account just for you! And the birthday stuff is just to make sure you're old enough to use it, and if you forget your password.

STEP THREE:

Enter your profile info so that people can find you. For realism, I used my legal name…

Continue reading "How to broadcast your wedding live on the web — Part 2 of 4" →