I recently received some questions from a journalist for an article she's writing about bridesmaids. I thought I'd include my answers here.
What do you think are some of the (perceived or actual) down sides of being a bridesmaid, and how can a forward-thinking bride avoid putting her maids through those experiences?
In the process of researching my book, I spoke to one former bridesmaid who'd been chastised by the bride for getting her shoulder-length hair cut into a bob before the wedding. The bride fuh-REAKED out, because now this one bridesmaid wouldn't be able to have the pre-set bridemaid updo.
Brides and bridesmaids need to be well matched! If pre-ordained matching up-dos are important to you, then pick bridesmaids who are into meticulous aesthetics.
While this story is pretty fucked up, the thing it makes the most clear to me is that brides and bridesmaids need to be well matched! If, as a bride, things like pre-ordained matching up-dos are super insanely important to you, then pick bridesmaids who are into meticulous aesthetics.
I think it's really important to have a discussion up-front about what the expectations are. Just ask the bride straight out what she wants and expects from you. If it doesn't sound like your cup of tea, tell her you love her and would love to help with the wedding in some other way, but that you're just not in the right headspace to be the bridesmaid she needs. No one's to blame — it's no one's fault. You're better off having this discussion be a little awkward than dealing with months (or years!) of stress around a wedding you don't want to be in.
What are some of the things that make a bridesmaid's experience a positive one? Continue reading "Offbeat bridesmaid advice" →
