Hey, everyone! My offbeat intern, Shrie, is starting a new series where she explores the hottest topics from the OBT. We’re starting off with a topic that’s hard to ignore these days: planning a wedding in the middle of a global economic meltdown. On that uplifting note (whee!) take it away, Shrie…

Planning a wedding is tough stuff. Unless you have a ton of disposable income or can count on the ‘rents for a large chunk, it can put a real dent in your wallet and in your credit score. Pile on a recession, sky high fuel costs, scarce job market and less than savory housing situation — and you’ve got a full scale wedding budgeting nightmare.

Nervous brides are scraping the bucket and turning their luxury destination weddings into backyard BBQs, all in the name of saving a little dough. In fact, for the first time in over ten years the average cost of an American wedding is expected to drop, and nearly half of all caterers and event planners have noticed a drop in wedding spending due to the recession.

Monica, a fellow Offbeat Bride Tribe member, is downright apprehensive:

“Is all this recession chatter making any one else nervous? Our wedding is about five months away and every time I hear about people losing their jobs, the economy, high gas prices, grocery prices, etc. it makes me really nervous. I’m concerned people won’t be able to travel because they can’t afford it, or our caterer will have to charge us more for food or travel expenses.” [obt link]

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My parents offered to pay for most of our wedding next summer, which seemed great at first. But within four days of being engaged, my mom had already used the phrase “If i’m paying for it i will have X” and is being very very pushy about choosing a venue.

I’ve decided that letting my folks foot the bill would mean that we are going to have to have my mom’s wedding and not our wedding. My fiance and i talked about it and decided that we can afford to save up and throw the wedding we want with out my parents financial help. How can i tell my mom Thanks but no thanks on the offer to pay without completely alienating her? -Lisa

I think the best way to frame the discussion is to make this clear that you’re doing this out of respect for your relationship with her and because you respect her too much to cause friction with wedding planning. Emphasize that you’re doing this to reduce her anxiety — perhaps if you can point to a few examples of times when you’ve had disagreements over wedding planning, and let her know that you love her too much to cause her that kind of frustration. Accept full responsibilities for any and all disagreements. Apologize.

And then …

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Everyone warns you about Bridezilla, but no one tells you about how your mom will morph into Momzilla! We set the date for June 2009 and my mom’s trying to plan everything now. She’s totally not listening to me about what I want, or what is important to me. She and my father are paying for it. Would it be selfish of me to tell her it’s my wedding, and not hers? Or should I let her have her way because she’s paying for it? -Jenna

My simple rule: If mom’s payin’, you need to listen to what she’s sayin’.

For the longer answer, keep reading.

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I would like to add to my advice in the video: if you work it right, having a mother-in-law who’s an event planner could be a really awesome thing! I’d also like to open it up to my beloved offbeat brides and ask all you: how would you make the most of having a MIL who’s a wedding planner, but who has some traditional ideas for your wedding?