A few days ago I got asked a question via Twitter about about some suggestions for good alternatives to the first dance. Offbeat Bride has broached the topic of dance-free wedding receptions before, but what if you like to dance, but you just don't want to have to be the ONLY ONES dancing? Or, maybe you love being the only ones under the spotlight, but dancing isn't exactly your thing, what are your other options?

First Song 
We've seen many variations on this idea — there's been first songs, first karaoke, musically inclined couples have even put a band together in order to perform at their wedding. I've been to a wedding where only the bride was a musician, and she performed a song that she wrote for groom instead of them both doing the first dance.

First Drink
Instead of mixing your unity cocktail during the ceremony, save it for the reception in leu of a first dance!

Kicking off your reception with a first drink is quick and painless and does double duty for shy brides & grooms as it can help to calm nerves and will probably help put you in the mood to dance later on… with everyone else, of course.

Continue reading "7 First Dance Alternatives for Dance-shy Couples" →

I'm wondering about meaningful alternatives to the unity candle ceremony. I've read up on some options out there, but really haven't found anything that I've fallen in love with. The sand ceremony is nice, but so many of my friends have used it that I feel like I'd be ripping them off. Exchanging roses with the mothers from each family seems a little too simplistic, my FH doesn't drink wine (or any alcoholic beverage, for that matter), and I have a black thumb, so I'm afraid I would kill a money tree plant (THAT can't be a good omen for the marriage!). Any advice for a truly offbeat and meaningful ritual that I can include in our wedding ceremony? -Rachael

Personally, I don't see anything wrong with doing a sand ceremony just because your friends have done it. There's always that risk with nontraditional weddings that, rather than blindly follow tradition (ie walking down the aisle to Pachelbel's Canon because that's what everyone's supposed to do), you blindly refuse to do something that's been done before. If a sand ceremony resonates for you, tell your friends how much they inspired you, and then DO IT. It's not like your friends invented the idea and it could be a great opportunity to share with them how meaningful you found their weddings.

That said, if you really want to do something else, there are options. I'm a big fan of the unity cocktail, but since your partner doesn't drink that one's definitely not going to work.

It may be that a ring warming ceremony is the perfect solution. The concept is simple: near the beginning of your ceremony, have your officiant let your guests know that your rings will be making their way through the assembled guests, with an invitation for each guest to hold the ring, say a silent prayer/blessing for your marriage, and then pass it to the next guest. Then the officiant can pass out the rings, and continue on with the ceremony until it's time for you and your partner to present the rings to each other.

Obviously, there are limitations to a ring warming: it wouldn't work well for super large weddings, and if you're having a big wedding you may want to have someone watching the progress of the rings and keeping them moving in a timely manner through your guests.

Some people worry about rings getting dropped during the ceremony — if you like, you can affix them to a pillow or book or some other symbolic item for the passing.

If you'd like some inspiration, check out ring warming ceremonies featured on Offbeat Bride.

Oh and PS: if a ring warming doesn't appeal, you could always do a guest bouquet!

You might recall these amazing green wedding shoes that made Ariel wet her pants. Well here's the scoop on the rest of OBT member LucyLu's wedding.

The Offbeat Bride: Lucy, client services

Her Offbeat Partner: Travis, engineer

Location & date of wedding: Milwaukie Community Club Center, Milwaukie, OR — March 7th, 2009

What made our wedding offbeat: From the start, we knew we wanted the wedding to be uniquely ours and not cost a gazillion dollars. Although we ended up going over our budget, the cost was still way less than the norm since most everything was vintage, crafted, or Etsy (aka. "crack central"). I was torn between an elegant or fun vibe, so did my best to do both.

Continue reading "Lucy & Travis' Color Saturated Amusement Wedding" →

The Offbeat Bride: Shannon, theater actress/web site manager

My Offbeat Partner: Brandon, improv actor/managing director

Location & date of wedding: Lake Forest Park Civic Club on Lake Washington in Seattle, WA (we're not members, anyone can rent it) — 5/4/2008

What made our wedding offbeat: Our wedding was completely ours. We ran the thing ourselves and enlisted the generous help of talented friends and family to design our invites, print them, set-up, DJ, officiate, work the bar, and make appetizers.

We decided early on to eliminate certain expensive sources of stress to keep the budget and the stress as low as possible. We planned the wedding for about 4-5 months after the engagement to save ourselves a year of stress. Within a few weeks, we'd chosen an inexpensive (under $1K), little-heard-of venue north of Seattle. It's in a lovely spot on the lake but because the building is old 1960's utilitarian, so it's not used often for weddings. We decided the space was too small for a wedding party and we didn't want to deal with choosing dresses and tuxes and favors and coordinating the people (this ended up being our most controversial decision).

Continue reading "Shannon & Brandon's comedic Seattle wedding" →

Adrianna and Christian got married recently, and I was scrolling through the pictures. First I noticed the groom's cake (er, cupcakes?), but then I was really struck by their new tradition: the wedding cocktail. As described in the caption: Like a unity candle…only awesomer.

(Thanks to d-day for the photo!)