Offbeat Bride: Sheva, Hairstylist

Her Offbeat Partner: Jared, Cad specialist

Location & date of wedding: Castle on the Hudson, Tarrytown, NY — October 31st, 2008

What made our wedding offbeat: Jared and I hate the traditional, and dread going to weddings. We decided to throw a huge bash on our favorite holiday, Halloween.

To ensure that our guests would losen up and have fun we had everyone dress up in costume. Jared wore jeans and we all decided to wear chucks and be comfortable. We got to be ourselves and had a stress free fun day.

Continue reading "Sheva & Jared's dark, elegant wedding with a twist of tacky Halloween fun" →

Inspired by Princess Lasertron (because really, who isn't?) I've decided to start doing a semi-regular feature where I answer reader questions. Not, like, wedding advice questions. But questions about other stuff — the site, the world, whatever.

Here are the first batch of questions, which came in via Offbeat Bride's Facebook page:

At OBB, we're all about honoring the personally meaningful, no matter how weird or "tacky" But I bet you've heard about some pretty off-the-wall wedding choices…what are the strangest things you've come across in your OBB travels? -Ariel H.

Ha! I love this question. I've definitely seen some things that aren't my personal aesthetics, that's for sure…

Continue reading "Questions from you: Strangest weddings, what inspired me to start OBB, what I regret from my wedding, and more!" →

I am planning on having an informal family-only wedding at my dad's church. I'm considering doing a potluck wedding but was wondering if that was tacky to ask our guest to dish something up for everyone to share in.

My fiancee is in Afghanistan and we'll only know a month in advance when we can set a date for the wedding. This makes catering (already expensive) even more of a challenge. If I where to do a potluck, how would I word it on an invitation? I run the risk of people not bringing anything!

I've read articles online and it seems most people think potlucks are tacky — even my own sister thinks it's too tacky. -Sylvia

Ok, first thing's first: Yes, a potluck wedding is tacky. Your entire wedding is tacky! So was mine. "Tacky" is a subjective word that can be applied to absolutely anything and everything, from a $500 wedding all the way to a $50,000 wedding. It's all tacky, so let that concern go.

I've featured several potluck weddings on Offbeat Bride — I especially love Kirsten's story, where she explains:

We invited our friends and family to "bring what makes them who they are" to share. We had no idea what our wedding would look like — we were not disappointed. A beautiful and delicious homemade wedding cake just APPEARED OUT OF NOWHERE! Our friends sang, read stories, played music, put on improv performances, made up carnival games, and told each other's families waaaaay too much about the new in laws!

So clearly, a potluck wedding can work beautifully and be an amazing community event that celebrates two families coming together and sharing food, stories, music, and whatever else people chose to bring. I love the idea.

But the issue isn't "is a potluck wedding tacky?" and more "Are you and your fiance's families comfortable enough with the idea to participate fully?" Only you two know your families well enough to know if this is the case. Here are a few questions for you and your fiance to ask yourselves:

Continue reading "Is a potluck wedding tacky?" →

The offbeat bride: Gem – art lecturer (and OBT member!)

Her offbeat partner: Mel – sex boutique proprietor

Location & date of wedding: Brighton Town Hall/beach/pier, Brighton UK. Wednesday the 6th of August 2008.

What made our wedding offbeat: Being a gay couple started events in a generally non-regular tradition and our family and friends realized quickly that it wasn't going to stop there … we wanted a day that would fulfill our dressing up fantasies, even if that meant just being really comfortable. We didn't want anyone in starchy suits if they weren't going to feel at ease and our wedding was primarily about enjoyment.

Continue reading "Gem & Mel's gay retro/ska british beach bonanza" →

This was originally posted as a comment to the "Your wedding is tacky" post, but I think it's important and wanted to take the time to answer it publicly.

…While I at first did enjoy this blog’s celebration of all things unique and offbeat, Ariel’s recent increasing blowups on any negative comments is, frankly, off putting. Any post on any subject is going to evoke negative AND positive reactions from people. Freaking out whenever people comment negatively, whether using “tacky” or not, is ITSELF unwelcoming of discussion.

I enjoyed this blog because it gave me inspiration for various ideas I could ponder and decide whether to include or exclude them with my wedding. And even though it is MY wedding, I still care what other people think, because this wedding is a celebration for my whole family. They’re giving time and money and traveling a long distance to be with me, I want them to have as much fun as possible. So yes, I find value even when people react negatively to different wedding ideas, and I even find value when people use the word “Tacky”

Demanding that every comment flower praise on the couple’s wedding choices isn’t offbeat, it is typical selfish bridal behavior. -Elizabeth

Elizabeth, I totally hear you and it’s definitely a balance I struggle with when thinking about offbeat editorial and moderation strategy. Honestly: it's not like I love every single nontraditional wedding I see. It's not like I've never looked at a wedding photo and thought "Woah! Bleah!" But ultimately my goal has always been acting as a cheerleader and supporter of nontraditional couples.

From the introduction of my book:

Continue reading "I am but your humble cheerleader" →