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Posts tagged with ring-warming
18 Aug 2009

I'm wondering about meaningful alternatives to the unity candle ceremony. I've read up on some options out there, but really haven't found anything that I've fallen in love with. The sand ceremony is nice, but so many of my friends have used it that I feel like I'd be ripping them off. Exchanging roses with the mothers from each family seems a little too simplistic, my FH doesn't drink wine (or any alcoholic beverage, for that matter), and I have a black thumb, so I'm afraid I would kill a money tree plant (THAT can't be a good omen for the marriage!). Any advice for a truly offbeat and meaningful ritual that I can include in our wedding ceremony? -Rachael

Personally, I don't see anything wrong with doing a sand ceremony just because your friends have done it. There's always that risk with nontraditional weddings that, rather than blindly follow tradition (ie walking down the aisle to Pachelbel's Canon because that's what everyone's supposed to do), you blindly refuse to do something that's been done before. If a sand ceremony resonates for you, tell your friends how much they inspired you, and then DO IT. It's not like your friends invented the idea and it could be a great opportunity to share with them how meaningful you found their weddings.

Photo by Jenny JimenezThat said, if you really want to do something else, there are options. I'm a big fan of the unity cocktail, but since your partner doesn't drink that one's definitely not going to work.

It may be that a ring warming ceremony is the perfect solution. The concept is simple: near the beginning of your ceremony, have your officiant let your guests know that your rings will be making their way through the assembled guests, with an invitation for each guest to hold the ring, say a silent prayer/blessing for your marriage, and then pass it to the next guest. Then the officiant can pass out the rings, and continue on with the ceremony until it's time for you and your partner to present the rings to each other.

Obviously, there are limitations to a ring warming: it wouldn't work well for super large weddings, and if you're having a big wedding you may want to have someone watching the progress of the rings and keeping them moving in a timely manner through your guests.

Some people worry about rings getting dropped during the ceremony — if you like, you can affix them to a pillow or book or some other symbolic item for the passing.

If you'd like some inspiration, check out ring warming ceremonies featured on Offbeat Bride.

Oh and PS: if a ring warming doesn't appeal, you could always do a guest bouquet!

The offbeat bride: Hayley, English Teacher

Her offbeat partner: Tyson, Jazz Guitarist

Location & date of wedding: Hayley's Auntie and Uncle's garden in Drysdale, Victoria, Australia on January 3rd, 2009

What made our wedding offbeat: We had been together for nine years when we were married. Our wedding was always going to be a celebration of our love and commitment to each other, but it was important to us that we also celebrated the love and support that our family and friends have brought into our lives.

Continue reading "Hayley & Tyson's Vintage Garden Party Wedding" →

The offbeat bride: Molly, business owner and teacher

Her offbeat partner: Laurie, business owner/dog adventure guide/writer

Location & date of wedding: Guemes Island, WA overlooking the water and mountains on October 25th, 2008

What made our wedding offbeat: Some details of that made it ours….

Rather than sending STD cards or standard invitations…we put together a CD (I love music) and sent it to our guests. We sent the CDs 10 months ahead of time (and even with no Save The Date) it worked out great – people loved the CD and still talk about it. The CD had our website on it, which was all people needed. It set the tone for fun and expecting the unexpected. (In hindsight, it also served as the ‘favor’).

Guests were asked to participate in many ways. During the ceremony we had a Community Support section where guests were asked to publicly declare their support to our commitment. We also had a Ring Warming during the ceremony where the rings were passed around and guests were asked to take a moment to hold them, infuse them with their physical, emotional, and spiritual warmth. And we had a wedding certificate made that our guests signed with us after the ceremony. We got a lot of response at how much people enjoyed being a part of it all.

Continue reading "Molly & Laurie's Island Outdoor Lesbian Yes-We-Can Wedding" →

The offbeat bride: Kara, Customer Service Rep – Fashion
Her offbeat partner: Loop Haro

Location & date of wedding: The Marvimon House in Los Angeles, CA – June 29th, 2008

What made our wedding offbeat: Since I am from Minnesota and my husband is from northern California, we needed an easy location that could accommodate our families and our hipper-than-hip friends.

Continue reading "Kara & Loop's Glamourous Indie-Rocker Loft Wedding!" →

stacy1.jpgThe offbeat bride: Stacy Streuli, Interior Designer (and Offbeat Bride lab rat!)

My offbeat groom: Oliver, video and commercial editor

Location & date of wedding: Small B&B, White Mountains, NH: 10/17/04

What made our wedding offbeat: The things which made our wedding offbeat were mostly due to my staunch refusal to succumb to my mother's "only daughter" fantasy of a big traditional synagogue wedding with 250 guests. She was actually prepared to take out a loan to finance it. I never wanted the white wedding fantasy, and I wasn't prepared to bankrupt my mother over it.

Continue reading "Stacy Streuli's B&B wedding" →


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