"I got you": The revelation I found hidden in a wedding tango

When my partner suggested we do a full "so you think you can dance" stylized tango as our first dance, I was thrilled. I've always loved the idea of learning how to tango. It's a bold choice. It's a feminist choice. The tango is the only ballroom dance where the man is not in charge. I was excited. But on the day of the wedding, I started to get anxious. I heard the shift in the music we had agreed would be our queue, and I hesitated. My introverted self just wanted to stay in my room and flee the audience. I pulled myself together and stepped out onto our living room floor…


How to survive a long engagement (without losing your shit!)

I was engaged for about four years before my wife and I tied the knot. Long engagements can be stressful, regardless of the reason why you’re stretching out the timeline. For us, we treated our engagement as a time to set the foundation for our newly formed family, rather than exclusively as a time to actively plan a wedding. When it came time to get married, our small civil ceremony was put together in about a month. So how did I not lose my shit while being engaged for longer than the WIC standard? Here are my tips…


The 6 discussions you should have with your partner before the wedding

Is it getting down to the wire? Wedding date almost here?! Have you had these six big ol' convos with your partner yet? Oh, it's on. Time to start waylaying fears, saying thanks, and talk about TV shows. Wait, what? Yep, all of the above need to happen stat. Here are the six discussions before the wedding that probably need to happen.


I'm not marrying my soulmate (and I don't think you are, either)

The concept of soulmates is dangerous. A soulmate is a static abstract theory, but humans are ever-changing. How can your partner ever measure up to an abstract ideal? I have no idea if Hyatt is my soulmate. It's irrelevant to me. Because for those who are agonizing over whether someone is their "soulmate," they would do better to wonder, "Am I willing to put up with this person's unique set of problems?" And I know this is not the message that most people want to hear.