Where is my manual on throwing a wedding with a partner who is transgender?! Both of us previously identified as lesbians, but now it’s “Hey, I don’t have a girlfriend anymore but a boyfriend, but I’m still gay, but we’re getting legally married as male and female, but but but…” Do I let guests show up and see my big queer event with my male partner and have them think whatever they want? -Becky

Hey, Becky. I’ve got my answer, but first I’m bringing in the expertise of Elroi Windsor, who Offbeat Bride readers may remember from this inspiring queer wedding. Elroi is an Instructor and Doctoral Student of Sociology at Georgia State University with a focus on gender issues, and this was hir perspective:

Becky really should just deal with everything up front, before the wedding, so she doesn’t have to deal with it during. That way, she’ll only have people present who support her and her partner.

If everyone knows her as a lesbian, and knew the couple as a lesbian couple, then she needs to explain to everyone what’s up if she wants them at the wedding. It’s up to her to set the limits about what’s ok and not ok to ask about when she relays the news.

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Ariel,
I received my copy of Offbeat Bride in the mail yesterday and am already more than halfway through it. I just wanted to say.. THANK YOU.

My partner Georgia and I are far from traditional - we’re gay, which is probably the biggest (and most exciting) challenge in planning a wedding (yes, a real wedding - thank you Canada!!!). She’s the long-haired, broken-shit-fixin’, boy-clothes-wearin’, hairy-legged, likes to be spooned gender enigma, and I’m the equally puzzling short haired, boy’s-name-havin’, makeup-loving girly girl. Needless to say, we’re throwing most tradition right out the window.

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Holy hell. My brain almost exploded from the gorgeousness and sheer amazatude of Aly and Elroi’s stunning wedding in Atlanta. Let’s start with their wedsite, which has one of my favorite wedding party pages of all time. The descriptions are hilarious and I love the ushers’ hand signal discussion.

Then there’s the wedding photography, which was done by Our Labor and Love and must have cost a fortune because it’s stunning. Sadly, the online gallery is built from flash, so I can’t directly link to individual photos, but go look at them all and check out the bridesmaids’ hair (love the feathers!) and the amazing portraits of the couple, and the ceremony photos and and and … oh my god.

Just spend a while looking at all the pictures — they’ll take a while to load because the galleries are huge. You’ll be inspired by Aly’s handmade blue dress, and the bad-ass wedding party, Elroi’s smile, and the officiant, and the bird-topped cake that matches the bride’s dress, the vegetarian menu, and and and…! Just go. Just go look. It’s one of the most beautiful weddings I’ve ever seen, gay or straight.

Also, check out Aly’s write-up on Kvetch. I got all misty. And then there’s this article about the whole shebang, which was documented by a television crew for a reality show on Logo.