I'm sorry, but some of the stuff on Offbeat Bride is just too weird. Some of the wedding shoes? Ugly. Some of the real offbeat weddings? Kinda tacky. I love Offbeat Bride, but sometimes I just don't get you guys. -Anonymous.

Thanks for bringing this up, Anonymous. And you know what? You're totally right. I don't like everything we feature on Offbeat Bride either — and that's by design.

This website isn't about dictating one vision of taste or aesthetics upon my readers. Sure, we feature wedding trends when we start to notice Offbeat Brides getting obsessed with a particular vision. But part of why I continue to run Offbeat Bride is because it's an excuse to get exposed to a whole big wide range of cultures and styles and people and design outside my daily experience.

If everything on Offbeat Bride was just a reflection of my personal tastes, we'd never see any rockabillies or goths or steampunks or church weddings. OBB would be all West Coast neo-tribal forest weddings like these ones. (Love 'em — but yawn!)

If Offbeat Bride was all about Megan's personal preferences, it'd be all beach weddings, star wars couples, and gamer geeks.

So I say: bring on the "too weird"! Bring on the ugly-to-some-people! Bring on the kinda-tacky-to-some-people! Because our tastes are all different, and when some bride halfway across the globe dares to share her vision with the world and I get exposed to something new and beautiful and amazing and magical … we all win.

Photo by Amanda Jaffe

I've been thinking a lot lately about the pursuit of authenticity versus the pursuit of attention. The first feels very internal, like you really have to look with-in yourself with a lot of introspection and thought to determine what's important … while the other feels very external, like you're hunting for other people's eyeballs. And why does one seem like so much fun, while the other seems like so much work?

(…I swear this relates to wedding planning!)

Continue reading "The pursuit of authenticity vs. the pursuit of attention" →

A reader sent me this "Best of Craigslist" post that encapsulates one writer's take on all the traditional things she doesn't want at her wedding. (And yes, I'm assuming the author is a woman, although there's no way to know.)

No, we are all now in our late twenties and wedding invitations appear in the mail with almost the same frequency that delivery guys slip take-out menus under my door. And now, having attended and been in a few weddings, I can’t help but think “I don’t want any of it.”

You should definitely go read the whole post. It's hilarious — but then be sure to come back, because I've got something important to say…

Continue reading "Construction is always more difficult than demolition" →

I've written before about my decisions around calling the pictures of real weddings that I feature on this site "Wedding Porn." I consider the phrase a harmless, non-sexual twist on the voyeuristic thrill many folks planning their weddings get out of seeing other people's wedding ideas.

That said, I'm going to come out and admit that there IS one component of wedding porn that starts to feel just as unhealthy as typical porn: that's when lusting after some fantasy of what you could have starts to interfere with the reality of enjoying what you've got.

I see this when brides buy a dress, and then find another dress, and then pick a third dress because they keep seeing dresses they like online. I see it when people come up with five different wedding themes over the course of two months, and still can't quiiite decide. I read it between the lines of commenters who's enthusiasm for someone else's wedding starts to slip over the edge from inspiration ("ooh, I might want to integrate something like that in my wedding") to duplication ("I MUST HAVE THOSE EXACT SHOES WHERE DID YOU GET THEM TELL ME NOW NOW NOW!")

It worries me a little…

Continue reading "When to stop looking at wedding porn" →

"Sometimes it seems harder to be original, but it takes so little to start being yourself. The race has a siren song if you let it. Let your voice be louder." -Miranda