In the glorious Offbeat Bride community, there are loads of different kinds of people into loads of different things. You name it, we got it! From tattooed rockabillies to tight-panted hipsters to earth-lovin' hippies and every idiosyncratic style (lifestyle?) in between. One aspect of the Offbeat Bride army, if you will, that we often don't associate with being particularly offbeat and is definitely under-represented on OffbeatBride.com are military brides. Yeah, I said it… military brides can be offbeat too!

On the Offbeat Bride social network, Offbeat Bride Tribe, there is a group devoted entirely to brides and their partners who have served or are serving in the armed forces, police force or firefighting arena. There's a little sumpin' sumpin' about a man or woman in uniform!

Continue reading "Offbeat military weddings" →

I've got this theory about wedding photography and offbeat couples.

See, wedding photographers aren't just doing a service for you. You're also doing a service for them by providing images for use in their portfolios. And, let's be honest, which photos add more to a photographer's body of work: another traditional shot from a traditional wedding or a photo of a couple dressed as astronauts taking flight on their wedding day?

In other words, photos from your offbeat wedding may be of greater business benefit to a photographer … and therefore, photographers may be willing to negotiate a lower price.

I decided to test this theory by asking some of my favorite wedding photographers about their pricing policies and negotiating tips for non-traditional couples. Here's what I learned…

Continue reading "The offbeat advantage negotiating with wedding photographers" →

Just for fun, and perhaps evidence that the wedding industrial compex isn't always a bad thing.

The offbeat bride: Lisa, Office Monkey (now with grad student action!)

Her offbeat partner: Teri, Grad student and Office Monkey

Location & date of wedding: Harrington Mansion in Minneapolis, MN on October 3rd, 2008

What made our wedding offbeat: We came in under our 5k budget, and still got our fancy to-do. We had board games, chess and card games, and a really (really really) tough puzzle instead of dancing — since our buddies don't dance and empty dance floors are depressing.

Continue reading "Lisa & Teri's Fancy Neo-Victorian Parlor Wedding" →

Offbeat Bride isn't usually an especially political site, but when it comes to California's Proposition 8, I think it's worth talking about it … even though I live in Seattle, which is definitely NOT in California.

Prop 8 seeks to eliminate the right of same-sex couples to marry, and it fucking pisses me off.

For me, marriage equality is about family values. As any of you who've read my book know, Andreas and I both come from gay families. His mom (my "outlaw mother") has been with her partner since Andreas was 12. My mother and her partner had a non-legal wedding in 2006. My aunt and her partner of 17 years just got legally married (for the second time!) in California last month.

My family's values are very clear: love is love. Commitment is commitment. It's been inspiring and beautiful to watch marriage equality's spread across the United States. It may be an extremely slow progress, but it's happening. Or rather, trying to happen. Gay marriage became legal in California six months ago … but now some folks want to take the legality away.

The official Offbeat Bride position on this issue is mostly incoherent shouting of expletives and rude gestures,, but if I can pull myself together for a second, I will say this: Californians, please vote no on Proposition 8. Non-Californians, I hope you'll follow my lead and take action against Prop. 8. Out of staters (like me! and you! and YOU!) can donate to support No On Prop 8. Your donation helps get ads like this on television:

Where is my manual on throwing a wedding with a partner who is transgender?! Both of us previously identified as lesbians, but now it's "Hey, I don't have a girlfriend anymore but a boyfriend, but I'm still gay, but we're getting legally married as male and female, but but but…" Do I let guests show up and see my big queer event with my male partner and have them think whatever they want? -Becky

Hey, Becky. I've got my answer, but first I'm bringing in the expertise of Elroi Windsor, who Offbeat Bride readers may remember from this inspiring queer wedding. Elroi is an Instructor and Doctoral Student of Sociology at Georgia State University with a focus on gender issues, and this was hir perspective:

Becky really should just deal with everything up front, before the wedding, so she doesn't have to deal with it during. That way, she'll only have people present who support her and her partner.

If everyone knows her as a lesbian, and knew the couple as a lesbian couple, then she needs to explain to everyone what's up if she wants them at the wedding. It's up to her to set the limits about what's ok and not ok to ask about when she relays the news.

Continue reading "Transgender groom" →

Those of you who have read my book will remember my aunties, Andrea & Stacy. I handed my bouquet off to them at our wedding. They'd gotten married a few months before us in 2004 … but then the law changed and they weren't married any more.

Since California law has changed again, they decided to get remarried this last weekend in small backyard ceremony. It was a simple and beautiful ceremony with a friend officiating and their dog helping out. I loved that they chose hydrangea bouquets — just like mine. And of course I took photos.

…Now, let's just hope they can STAY married.

So you're in LA and you want to get married, like, TODAY. Enter Los Angeles wedding officiant Elizabeth Oakes and marriagetogo.com.

Elizabeth is a non-denominational minister and notary public authorized to issue marriage licenses in Los Angeles. She's conducted weddings in four-seater planes, bait shops, limos, hip-hop clothing stores, In 'N' Out Burger, trailer parks, celebrity homes, hospital rooms, The Museum of Jurassic Technology, and about a bazillionty other places.

With the recent shifts in California wedding laws, Elizabeth has been doing a ton of same-sex weddings lately, as you can see from this gorgeous shot of her with a couple on the beach. One of marriagetogo.com's weddings was recently featured in the New York Times.

Elizabeth can do civil ceremonies, elopements, interfaith ceremonies, non-religious ceremonies, and just about anything else. And for those of you looking for a green eco-wedding, Elizabeth has got you covered:

I am in the midst of developing Zero-Emissions Bike Wedding services, for which I will bike to any local ceremony site on a two-wheeler, lead a half-mile post-ceremony bridal bike parade along the route of the couple's choice, and make a donation to TreePeople, our local urban-greening program.

For more information about Elizabeth and to get married, uh, TODAY!, head on over to marriagetogo.com.