The offbeat bride: Kat, Craftsperson

Her offbeat groom: Kurt, Computer Engineer

Location & date of wedding: Ottawa, ON (Canada), married at the Army Officer’s Mess. June 23rd, 2007

What made our wedding offbeat: Our wedding seemed fairly traditional on the surface — it was held at a popular local venue for formal events, the bride wore an off-white wedding gown and the groom wore black tails. The offbeat part of the wedding was in the little details. Both my husband and I changed our last names. I had a maid of honour, two bridesmaids, and a bridesman in my party. Our cake topper was a Lego couple that I put together myself from diverse pieces I’d ordered online.

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In the comments to this post about men changing their last names, I got this comment:

I don’t want to change my last name, and my fiance is pretty open to changing his. But he’s got 10 years of work under his belt with his name, and ffhe’ll be the first to admit - he works with a bunch of macho types who will probably not be so supportive. So he says, “Show me another man that has done this - let me talk to him, let me learn how he navigated these challenges.” … But I can’t find him a single one, except anecdotally. So where are the men who have taken their wives’ names? And how do I find them?!

I know a couple men who’ve taken their wives’ last names in two different ways (one got rid of his last name, the other hyphenated), so I pestered them for some answers:

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This morning I did an interview with The Brian Lehrer Show on WNYC about husbands who assume their wives’ last names, as well as those who take on what I call “portmanteau names,” squishing two last names together (Andreas and I could have gone for “Fetzlings,” except for that it sounds ridiculous). I also revealed my hidden childhood bias against kids with hyphenated last names. You can listen to the segment below.

Want to read a chapter of Offbeat Bride? Indiebride.com is currently running an excerpt from the book, all about the agony of figuring out that whole “last name” thing.

Related post: Husbands changing their names.