So, you your family/friends are freaking about about your plans for a tiny simple wedding in your backyard. Or about how your sweety wants to carry a pirate sword for the ceremony. Or about how you're wearing a black dress instead of a white one. Whatever: you told 'em something, and they've freaked out.

While every situation is different, I decide to write up a few copy 'n' paste responses that y'all could use in your conversations with your family & friends. Obviously, these would need tweaking depending on your particular conflict, but hopefully the respectful but firm tone will help you hold your ground while also keeping the peace:

Continue reading "Copy 'n' paste conflict resolution (aka How to say "fuck off" and "I love you" and "this conversation is over" all at the same time)" →

Last week's Why you should propose to your boyfriend post was a big hit, so I'm continuing on with Part 2: HOW to propose to your boyfriend.

Of course there are as many ways to propose to your boyfriend as their are people reading this website, but when considering proposing, here are a few things to consider:

1. Have lots of conversations with him about marriage and commitment, so that you know you're on the same page. Do you share ideas and values? Do you share a common outlook? Do you both want to do this?
2. If you're not sure he'd feel comfortable being proposed to, find a casual way to find out. Share a story about another woman who proposed (I've got one coming up for you!) to see how he responds.
3. If you want to really twist the tradition on its ear, consider asking his mother for his hand in marriage! This list of how to ask a man for his daughter's hand in marriage is actually pretty helpful, and has the bonus of being slightly amusing when you flip the genders: "Promise [her] that you’ll take care of [her son] for the rest of [his] life."
4. Pick a symbolic gift, if you want one. It totally doesn't have to be a ring (who remembers the "engagement lighter" mentioned in my book?)
5. Start scheming! The web is FILLED with proposal ideas, but I'm guessing crafting one unique to your relationship would be way more special than any over-engineered feat of romance.

Want a great story to use as an example? Keep hear how one OBT member proposed to her boyfriend…

Continue reading "Proposing Part 2: How to propose to your boyfriend" →

I've got this theory about wedding photography and offbeat couples.

See, wedding photographers aren't just doing a service for you. You're also doing a service for them by providing images for use in their portfolios. And, let's be honest, which photos add more to a photographer's body of work: another traditional shot from a traditional wedding or a photo of a couple dressed as astronauts taking flight on their wedding day?

In other words, photos from your offbeat wedding may be of greater business benefit to a photographer … and therefore, photographers may be willing to negotiate a lower price.

I decided to test this theory by asking some of my favorite wedding photographers about their pricing policies and negotiating tips for non-traditional couples. Here's what I learned…

Continue reading "The offbeat advantage negotiating with wedding photographers" →

Since the photobooth "save the date" cards I featured a while back were so popular, I figured it was worth sharing this video showing you how to make your own.

I can't handle addressing these wedding invitations. Everyone says I should address it to "mr. & mrs. man's-name last-name" but it pisses me off — addresses like this completely blow past the female component of a relationship. Any ideas for how to be true-to-self without trying to make an in-your-face statement?

I'm not sure what etiquette would advise, but my solution was to skip last names completely on my invites. I addressed them with first names and affectionate titles, ie "Dad & Andrea" (for my father and his gf), "Auntie Cherie & Dave" (for my aunt and her bf), and "Dallas & Erin" (for my married friends). I usually listed whoever I felt like knew better first, i.e. "Susannah & Michael" for my best friend from high school and her husband.

Obviously, your mileage may vary with this technique and it's probably not up to any sort of etiquette, but it felt like the simple, straightforward solution to me.