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Why it's totally okay to plan a wedding your way… even when you're told otherwise

When I asked Brian to marry me, tranquil and quiet energy swirled around us. In all the perfection that this was for us, I didn't expect the whirlwind that would come — the questions, assumptions, unsolicited advice, and all the "good things" that go along with an engagement in two large and loving families. Our quiet serenity on that beach on Toronto island slipped away from me so fast, I went looking for it in all the wrong places.

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As a queer person of color feminist, I cast aside my last name, and that's okay with me

While I always expected I would end up marrying a Taiwanese-American person like myself, I somehow fell in love with a man who happens to be white. I never thought I'd end up dating white guys, nor did I think I'd marry one. Weeks before my wedding, I toyed with the idea of changing my name. I could have a fresh start in life — new name, new license, new everything. But then the feminist part of me strongly opposed taking my husband's name. How can I completely eradicate my single life and the accomplishments I achieved under my maiden name? What kind of feminist am I?