The challenges of planning a straight wedding as a feminist queer bride

Planning a straight wedding as a lifelong feminist and member of the LGBTQ community was a challenge wrought with emotion, guilt, and confusion (in addition, of course, to all the blissful feelings of being engaged and in love).

I was a feminist way before it was cool, when it was decidedly UNCOOL. I realized that I liked girls as a teenager in the nineties going to a Catholic school, where the only openly gay teacher was a female gym coach who wasn't allowed in the girls' locker room. Gay marriage would not be a reality until nearly 15 years after I realized I might want to marry a woman. At different points in my life, I've hated both men and straight people; not out of malice, but out of fear, rejection, and really bad experiences.

Then I decided to marry a straight dude.

I proposed to my boyfriend and here's why it was perfect for us…

It was so difficult for me to propose to my fiancé. I grew up with a ton of stories about how men are supposed to propose to women, how they should create the perfect, amazing story. I watched tons of flash mob proposals with internet videos. I watched opera proposals. And movie proposals. And same sex hardware store proposals. Then I met my now fiancé and realized that none of those things worked for us, and that we needed to rewrite the story…


Are we "desperate" or just ready? The guilt of wanting to get married

Lately I've been feeling guilty. Then I've been feeling guilty about feeling guilty because I should know that I don't need to feel guilty. I've been feeling this way because I happen to be a woman who wants to get married someday. This in itself isn't a new development, but now I actively WANT it. Now "quirky engagement rings" keeps finding itself in my Pinterest search history and Offbeat Bride is gradually making its way up my most visited sites. It's literally proposal guilt.


No dieting, no makeup, no shame: My anti-diet, equal opportunity, feminist wedding

I'm getting married this July, and like a lot of women, I'm getting increasingly excited and somewhat nervous about this. As someone who is all about equality, feminism, self-acceptance, and patriarchy smashing, there are a couple of things that my impending feminist, anti-diet wedding will not be about. For the sake of any other bride or groom or person who needs a reminder that you're going to do just fine, here it is…


Equal and awesome: couples who opted to walk down the aisle together

What better way to keep your cool and soothe your nerves than by walking in to your ceremony with your partner (like Jenny and Dean happily did above!)? Sure, it's awesome to have that surprise moment, but coming in to the ceremony together means you share a processional song and a really sweet moment together, avoid any unnecessary gender roles, and keep yourself on equal footing. For some couples, it's totally the way to go. Here are a few of our favorite couples who opted to walk down the aisle together…