Thanks to Orbasm for submitting this shot to the Offbeat Bride pool!

In nine months I will be married. It doesn't seem that long ago I was sporting short hair, dockers, button-downs and ties and hitting the bars. Now, I have hair down to the middle of my back, wearing a f'ing Vera Wang wedding dress and participating full force in the bridal industrial complex. I'm currently taking a feminist studies class and it reminded me how I was when I first started doing my feminist/women's studies coursework for my MA: idealistic but still angry about how the world works. While I'd like to think that some of that rage is still inside me and I don't think I have become soft, I think I have become more tolerable and understanding of others and their beliefs.

There are some who may think that a woman changing her last name is “unfeminist.” To me this is a very tricky and personal decision for every woman who is about to get married. First, there is no one singular socio-political belief system known as feminism. There are multiple feminisms to reflect the diverse experiences of women around the world. However, the underlining goal of feminism is to improve the lives and experiences of women (and men) by ending gender oppression and injustice. Therefore, I find it difficult especially within this context to label the act of changing one’s last name to her husband’s as being “unfeminist.”

Continue reading "Musings on feminism and weddings" →

For those of you who want to sink your teeth into some wedding planning philosophy, this meaty guestpost from OBT member Channamasala will give you lots to chew over… -AMS

Thanks to Hibryd for submitting this shot to the Offbeat Bride pool!

A while back Offbeat Bride featured an article on why your wedding is tacky…and how that's really OK. A lot of us took that idea to heart, to the point where "don't worry about it, no matter what you do, someone is going to think it's tacky" bandied about on Offbeat Bride Tribe. I think that acted as not only a shake to the shoulders to a lot of us ("someone will find it tacky!") but also as a salve ("…so don't worry about it.") It hit a nerve in this community of people who are doing things differently, and so are more likely to be judged as 'tacky' for it.

I'm starting to feel the same way about the term "bridezilla". It's overused – it is its own cliche at this point – and yet hasn't hit that saturation point where it's acknowledged as being overused (see: Just Not That Into You, He's). How many TV shows, websites, videos, articles, Internet comments (always a bastion of intellectual thought and sensitivity, those are) march out the term "tacky" in a snobbish, "I am so much better than that" way that is just…tacky?

Well, "Bridezilla" is the new tacky.

Continue reading "Of Brides and Zillas" →

I'm having a dilemma about armpit hair. I haven't shaved my hairies in YEARS, and I really don't want to, but I'm feeling totally out on my own here! Have you got any advice or photos for brides considering rocking the pit hair on their wedding day? -Kit

This is a deeply personal (and dare I say political!) decision, so while I can't give you a cut 'n' dry answer I can provide a few questions from a few different angles can help you make the decision for yourself…

Continue reading "Should I shave my armpits for my wedding day?" →

Recommended reading from the Globe & Mail today: I took my wife's last name by Josiah Neufeld:

So far the name change hasn't cost me more than a few hours of paperwork, some explanations to public officials and a few strained conversations with brittle relatives who think I've joined a matrilineal cult. I still feel like myself. My identity remains intact. Marriage will demand larger sacrifices than this, I expect.

Read the full article, and thanks to Michelle for passing this my way.

That's the question that Jezebel.com asked this weekend, and I figure maybe I should give my answer.

Continue reading "Is having an offbeat wedding any different than having a traditional wedding?" →