I would like to add to my advice in the video: if you work it right, having a mother-in-law who’s an event planner could be a really awesome thing! I’d also like to open it up to my beloved offbeat brides and ask all you: how would you make the most of having a MIL who’s a wedding planner, but who has some traditional ideas for your wedding?

Remember Raina, the autumn bride who wore her mom’s dress? Here’s the full scoop on her library wedding!

The offbeat bride: Raina, Graphic Designer

Her offbeat groom: Mike / freelance photographer & TV production guy

Location & date of wedding: The Clayville town library in Clayville, NY

What made our wedding offbeat: We really wanted to save a lot of money and keep it simple, simple, SIMPLE! We only had 7 people at the ceremony besides the two of us.

We did it at the tiny library in the town I grew up in. It was perfect because it was so small on the inside, and it happed to be a church at one point which lent itself to the layout of the ceremony well. We didn’t have a religious ceremony but it was kind of cute to be in an old church turned library (and my job involves designing book jackets, so it was extra special!).

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So, here’s an experiment for you — instead of writing my advice, I decided to try just doing it via video. Lemme know what you think of the format.

My fiancé’s family (mother, father, brother etc.) are protesting our wedding. They say it is not because of us, it is because they do not believe in gay marriage (ass-holes!) How do we go about filling in the holes? we are both very close with my family and they will be playing major roles in the wedding. We are having a hard time incorporating my family without putting a huge red spotlight on my fiancé’s lack of family. For clarification, my fiancé considers herself the Groom, and me the Bride, which only matters in terms of roles her family would have filled. -Lara

I finished Offbeat Bride in just two sittings because I just couldn’t put it down. My only disappointment was that there weren’t any suggestions on how to handle being an offbeat bride with a traditional groom. How do you have an offbeat wedding without crossing the line? How to have a traditional ceremony that won’t make me feel like I’m at someone else’s wedding? —Becky

Becky, this is a great question, and absolutely a topic that should have been in the book! I lucked out by having a groom who’s wedding visions were as hallucinogenic as mine, but your situation is infinitely more common — just because two people are engaged doesn’t mean they’re somehow a brain-unit with matching Christmas sweaters and 100% aligned opinions.

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As an offbeat bride I come from an offbeat family, yet I have been amazed at the expectations that have come up from both sides of our families. How do I manage the expectations of so many family members, while still keeping the vision of our own, unique wedding intact? -Summer Pierre

Isn’t that so weird, how even the most nontraditional of families still have expectations about what a wedding should and shouldn’t be? Suddenly hippie mothers are hurt because you’re not wearing grandmother’s veil, and hip uncles reveal that while they might seem like a non-practicing Jews, they’re actually mortified that you’re making your chuppa out of PVC.

It can skew both ways, too: I spoke to a UK bride named Sabrina who told me that her free spirited mother was mortified (AGHAST!) at the prospect of her daughter having bridesmaids.

I wanted a wedding party, which caused absolute havoc in my untraditional family. My mother kept screeching “Bridesmaids? BRIDESMAIDS?” like I’d suggested roasting babies over an open fire. But I wanted to get married with these women around me; they’re part of who I am.

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