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Honoring a wedding you're not invited to: advice for an estranged mother

My daughter has estranged me and excluded me from her wedding.

A few good friends are keeping me company that day and I would like to plan an authentic small ritual to honour and celebrate my daughter and her fiance's love and union. Nothing religious, but something spiritual. Can you offer suggestions?

1.3k

No, really, you DON'T have to be a happy bride all the time

"I think there can be a HUGE amount of pressure for brides to be happy 100% of the time. If they're not, they're called bridezillas. Working in mental health, this expectation that I needed to feel a certain way 100% of the time immediately ground my gears." How do you deal when the pressure rises to always be a happy bride?

1.3k

My partner's parents aren't supportive: how can I help?

I'm incredibly close with my parents and they're supportive of our wedding. The problem is that my partner's parents have been the complete opposite of my parents. My biggest source of worry is that my mom and I always have lots of fun talking about wedding details, and I can tell she is hurting. How can I support my fiancee during our wedding planning?

1.4k

Weddings: the petri dish of family drama

All sorts of your interests and lifestyle choices probably seem a little odd to your family, but until you're planning a wedding, it's easy to just sort of ignore the differences. It's not until you have the combination of two families coming together, social anxiety, financial considerations, religious and cultural traditions that all these things are forced up into your face.

But of course aesthetic choices are just the tip of the iceberg — planning your wedding will bring all sorts of larger issues to the forefront like financial and wedding budgeting issues (how does your family approach conversations about money? What are the dynamics around gifts and loans? How do you talk about savings or wedding debt?) and social obligations (how does your family feel about dealing with abusive relatives? What about wedding invitation tit-for-tat?).