That's the question that Jezebel.com asked this weekend, and I figure maybe I should give my answer.

Continue reading "Is having an offbeat wedding any different than having a traditional wedding?" →

Those of you who have read the book will remember Ben & Joriel. They had a wedding on March 20, 2005, but opted not to get legally married because of concerns with marriage inequality. Yesterday was their third anniversary, and they celebrated by making their commitment legal! I was proud to be a witness at their Seattle courthouse wedding:

So, why did they decide to make get legally married after all these years? The short answer: Joriel is pregnant. The longer answer is eloquently written out on Joriel's blog:

We still feel strongly that the institution of marriage is not what we wish it was … We can only hope that the institution of marriage will continue to evolve and that perhaps we can help that process along by continuing to challenge homophobia, gender role assumptions, religious persecution, and other forms of oppression in our relationship and in our lives. [read the whole thing]

My fiancé has no insurance (health, car, dental or vision) and I do. I want him to be insured and don't want to wait until our actual wedding in October for him to be able to be added to my insurance. Do you think it is a good idea to secretly go to the courthouse and get the legal stuff done ahead of time before we do the ceremony we already have planned? -Sarah

Girl, I feel you. As anyone who's read the book knows, health insurance was a big part of why Andreas and I decided to finally get married after 6+ years of unwedded bliss. It's a sad commentary on health care in the United States, but them's the facts. (Canadians, you have no idea what kinds of fun you're missing. *snork*)

With that personal bias in mind, I think it's perfectly acceptable to be pragmatic: go to the courthouse, do the deed, and quietly enjoy the insurance. No one but your health care providers need to know, and you and your fiancé can rest assured knowing that if he breaks his leg next month, you won't have to use your wedding budget to pay for the cast.