The offbeat bride: Essie – high school teacher and postgrad psychology student (and OBT member Essie!)

Her offbeat partner: Sara-Jane – cinema geek, learning programs officer, and baker extraordinary.

Location & date of wedding: Glen Harrow historic gardens. Belgrave, Victoria, Australia. 18th April, 2009

What made our wedding offbeat: Gay marriage isn’t recognized here, so we got to make this up for ourselves. We each told each other how much we love each other, signed our state’s relationship register, and asked our parents to offer words of support.

Continue reading "Essie & Sara-Jane's musical, crafty garden tea party o’love" →

The offbeat bride: Lith, Pregnancy and Postpartum Doula

Her offbeat partner: Ealesy, Community Corrections Officer

Location & date of wedding: Tecoma Pavilion in the Royal Botanic Gardens, Melbourne, Australia on February 24th, 2007

What made our wedding offbeat: I planned our wedding in a total of 9 days! Our wedding was not a legally recognised ceremony. We had a friend facilitate the ceremony because we did not want our "marriage" recognised because our nation does not permit same sex couples to marry.

Continue reading "Lith & Ealesy's Formal Feminist *Not Legal* Wedding" →

Meet New York celebrant Emily King! Her wedding celebrant duties have taken her from summer camps in the Catskills to Chinese restaurants on the Lower East Side, to the Equestrian Center in Burbank to the beach on Coney Island, from the swankiest gay wedding in the Hamptons to an intercontinental, interracial, interfaith wedding in a community vegetable garden in New Paltz.

As an Ordained Civil Celebrant Emily specializes in bridging cultures and languages (she's a published translator of French, German, and Italian texts, and has studied American Sign Language, Spanish and Mandarin Chinese) to create unique wedding and commitment ceremonies that completely reflect a couple's taste, culture, imagination, and independent way of life and love. She's officiated weddings gay and straight, both simple and ornate.

Extra bonus? Emily offers a sliding scale discount for struggling artists, graduate students and educators!

To learn more about Emily's celebrant work and how she might be able to help you craft your New York wedding ceremony, click the photo below!

Those of you who have read the book will remember Ben & Joriel. They had a wedding on March 20, 2005, but opted not to get legally married because of concerns with marriage inequality. Yesterday was their third anniversary, and they celebrated by making their commitment legal! I was proud to be a witness at their Seattle courthouse wedding:

So, why did they decide to make get legally married after all these years? The short answer: Joriel is pregnant. The longer answer is eloquently written out on Joriel's blog:

We still feel strongly that the institution of marriage is not what we wish it was … We can only hope that the institution of marriage will continue to evolve and that perhaps we can help that process along by continuing to challenge homophobia, gender role assumptions, religious persecution, and other forms of oppression in our relationship and in our lives. [read the whole thing]

I don't need a white dress to feel pretty, and I have no desire to pretend I'm virginal. I don't need to have Jeff propose to me as if he's chosen me. I don't need a ring as a daily reminder to myself or others that I am loved. And I don't need Jeff to say publicly that he loves me, because he says it privately, not just in words but in daily actions.

This Newsweek article reminded me so much of my friends Ben & Joriel — a couple who could have gotten married but chose not to for reasons of their own. I have several couple-friends like this, and I have a profound respect for their decisions not to get married.