Sadie & Devin's heartfelt queer wedding at a historic brewery

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Photos by Devin's dad, John Moore

The Offbeat Bride: Sadie, Copywriter

Her offbeat partner: Devin, Copywriter

Date and location of wedding: The Factory Luxe, Seattle, WA — October 12, 2014

Our offbeat wedding at a glance: Our main focus was to create a day that wouldn't break our $6,000 budget — one that would be relaxed and feel authentically us, and not traditional. So our wedding was relatively simple and homespun in terms of decor (I made bunting as well as head pieces for me and our flower girl), which is how I love things anyway. We definitely splurged on things we felt were important, like a bespoke suit for Devin from Saint Harridan, and saved money on things like my lavender dress, which I got online for under $90.

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A lot of love from family and friends went into making this wedding ours. Our officiant was a family friend I've known my entire life, our photographer was Devin's dad, Devin's mom made us a beautiful guest book, a member of Devin's band performed the music for the ceremony, my mom acted as day-of coordinator, plus many, many more hands and hearts touched our wedding. We also served fun finger foods basically no one can resist: beef and vegan hot dog sliders and vegan donuts. We wanted nothing to be stuffy or overly formal, and we wanted everyone to feel comfortable and just have a great time.

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By the end of the night, the remaining guests were dancing to Devin's iPod playlist, and Sadie's mom and step-dad even busted some moves to Miley Cyrus' "Party in the USA."

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Tell us about the ceremony:
Our good friend Paul played a rendition of "The Book of Love" by Magnetic Fields on acoustic guitar as we walked in. Devin and I walked in together, hand-in-hand, just as we came into this relationship together. I wouldn't have had it any other way! When we walked out, Paul played "I've Just Seen a Face" by the Beatles as a nod to Devin's obsession with the Fab Four.

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The ceremony was created for us by our officiant and my lifelong family friend, Tracy. She brought in what she knows about each of us individually, together, and about love as a whole for something completely personal and focused on our commitment. She also introduced us to family and friends with the new surname we chose for ourselves. We both decided early on that we wanted to share a last name, but weren't particularly attached to our current last names. So we chose a new one based partially on our love for Neko Case lyrics: Sparrow.

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My mom also did a gorgeous reading, during which many tears were shed,

From Corelli's Mandolin by Louis de Bernières

Love is a temporary madness,
it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides.
And when it subsides you have to make a decision.
You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together
that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.

Because this is what love is.
Love is not breathlessness,
it is not excitement,
it is not the promulgation of eternal passion.
That is just being "in love" which any fool can do.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away,
and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.
Those that truly love, have roots that grow towards each other underground,
and when all the pretty blossoms have fallen from their branches,
they find that they are one tree and not two.

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Our biggest challenge:
Our biggest challenge was probably the unexpected closing of our original wedding venue, E.M. Fine Arts, under some suspicious circumstances. We had paid a hefty deposit already but were informed that we would not be getting a penny back. That was one of the most stressful phone calls I've received in my life. However, the local wedding vendor community heard about the closing and generously offered some amazing deals to help out couples affected by the sudden closure, and The Factory Luxe was one of them.

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In the end, we were married at an amazingly relaxed venue in a historic and recognizable building in Seattle, which I love. So in a way I'm glad our original venue left us in the dust.

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My favorite moment:
The most meaningful part of our wedding was the beautiful, custom, non-religious ceremony our officiant, Tracy, created for us. We really wanted the focus to be on our commitment, and she listened to us wonderfully. During the ring exchange, we decided to use words that we say to each other often, "I am yours, and you are mine," as a way of affirming our commitment.

After the ceremony, Devin and I went alone into the back vault room and shared a private moment to take in everything that had just happened while our friends and family flipped the room for the reception. I am, to this day, so grateful for those simple moments together. I basically just cried in her arms for a few minutes, but it is one of the moments I remember with the most clarity. It allowed me to slow down and remember the important details from the ceremony and to take in my new wife with new eyes. I think I fully realized the commitments we had just made to each other then and just felt so safe and happy.

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My funniest moment:
Despite our nerves and stress levels during setup, the event itself was littered with funny moments. From the loud overhead fan turning on in the middle of the ceremony to Devin and our roommate Chris' choreographed dance to "Wiggle," we found many opportunities to laugh. One of the funniest moments, however, was also one of the most touching. Devin's best friend Arienne gave a characteristically hilarious speech during the reception that also managed to make pretty much everyone cry (and not just from laughter). Any summary of speech could not possibly do it justice, but let's just say each guest was left with a new-found appreciation for Converse shoes.

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What was the most important lesson you learned from your wedding?
I learned that sometimes the best way to prevent an argument is just to say nothing at all. I learned that no one will care if you rent real glasses or order plastic wine cups for half the price. I learned that Devin and I make a pretty good team when we put our minds to it, but to tread lightly when we sense the other is stressed in order to help her feel supported and not attacked. I learned that a commitment of this magnitude can feel remarkably freeing, despite what a plethora of articles on the internet will tell you.

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Care to share a few vendor/shopping links?

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  1. I just have to say, you are one of the prettiest people I've ever seen.

    5 agree
  2. Love, love, love your dress. Lavender is such a yummy color. And the lace detail is just lovely.

    2 agree
  3. Such a sweet couple. This wedding does seem heartfelt indeed, and very personal. I love your lessons learned, especially about being a team and supporting each other!

    • I'm jazzed for these two… gorgeous pictures, what a beautiful day! and, Devin's suit is bomb. my wife and I are getting married in June and she is having hers made by Saint Harridan, as well… it's good to see how beautifully made your suits are!

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