It's your fingernails' special daaaaaaaaay, too! #WTF!?#nails January 9 | Ariel offbeatbride Photo by Emily McGonnigle Photography I just received this message from a clueless publicist who clearly didn't actually read this website before emailing me, and it's so funny that I have to share: [Cheezy Bridal Magazine] and [Cosmetics company] have teamed up to create a collection of must-have shades for every bride-to-be . Guided by [Cheezy Bridal Magazine], the industry's authority on wedding day beauty and nail color [Cosmetics company] has custom designed Diamond Strength Nail Color shades to suit every blushing bride . . . this is the perfect "marriage" between America's bridal expert and America's #1 nail expert. The "Just Engaged!" Collection is available in the following 8 shades: Sheer Magic, I Do, True Love, First Dance, Wedding Bells, Sealed With A Kiss, Passion Flower, Wedding Bliss WHAT THEY COST: $4.75 WHERE TO FIND THEM: Drugstores nationwide If interested, we can send samples!! Bwahahahaha. Ridiculous. Reporter Name * Reporter Email * Original text Enter the original text here. Edited text* Enter your suggested copyedit here. Notes You can add a note for the editor here. * Required information. Fix Typo Ariel Author of Offbeat Bride: Creative Alternatives for Independent Brides, Ariel acts as the publisher of all the Offbeat Empire websites. She lives in Seattle with her son, and if she's not reading or writing, chances are good that she's dancing and happy-crying. PREVIOUS Bree's elegant rock 'n' roll wedding NEXT Serve your beverages in mismatched ugly mugs: Muglies! Show/Hide comments [ 23 ] Yeah. Just … gah. Thanks for saying that out loud. 1 agrees Reply I want to know what colour First Dance is. I'm almost sure it won't be blue like ours will be ;o). Seriously though – what were they thinking?!! 2 agree Reply I tried to stop biting my nails and grow then for the wedding. I gave up. It was one more thing driving me crazy, so I just let them revert to their natural state. In all the pictures you can see my bitten-down, stumpy fingers, and I don't care. 2 agree Reply Wait a minute. What am I saying? No you can't! You can't see my fingers! In fact, in the majority of the pictures, there is no focus on my hands because I was having too much fun! 6 agree Reply Oh gack. And I bet they're all colors like cotton candy pink and pale lilac and creamsicle white. 12 agree Reply Yes, I agree with Karen exactly! I ran across them and their all the palest, most demure shades of pink. Every single one. Barf. 6 agree Reply Er, excuse me, but would someone who would be swayed by the desire to have "Wedding Bliss" fingernails actually stoop to buying her nail polish in a drugstore instead of a department store, or for that matter, to do her own nails? What might be cool, though, is if you actually incorporated the nail polish into the ceremony. Like, you could go in with the shade "I Do," then right after you leave the ceremony you could paint your nails "Wedding Bells," and then before your first dance, you could put on the "First Dance" shade… It could be performance art! 13 agree Reply Hahahahaha Reply "…the industryâ€™s authority on wedding day beauty and nail color…" Last I check I was the authority when it came to my wedding day beauty. Call me crazy :P. 20 agree Reply Painful! And so wrong in so many ways! 2 agree Reply Clearly the colours will be blush and bashful, etc. At least they're cheap though – they could have gone with the usual "bridal markup" and made them $40 each… 11 agree Reply Just pretend you are intersted Ariel and get soem free nail polish samples!LOL! 7 agree Reply Word,RedDress! Free samples for all! 2 agree Reply $4.75 though! I know a bargain when I see one. 😀 4 agree Reply When my g/f now fiancee announced our engagement, one of the first things someone (an aunt?) told me was that now I'd have to start "taking care of my nails" since I'd be showing off the ring/s. This notice/advert immediately made me think that she must have been writing in suggestions to the bridal mags. *grin* 2 agree Reply I actually bought the color "Pawn the Ring" by Orly(I think it was part of their Divorcee set or something)…they also had "Take him to the cleaners" 5 agree Reply Y'know, I really don't give a crap what the cheesy name of my nail polish color is so long as I like the color. That said, I'm betting these are crappy colors. I love the names of Manic Panic dyes and nail polish. I have a gunmetal grey called Hell's Belles. 4 agree Reply Was that from Sally Hansen? I recognized the "Diamond Strength" bull crap. 3 agree Reply I had black nail polish. Bet that wasn't in the special 'bridal nails' section. 1 agrees Reply just came across this post and it made me laugh. everyone who knows me knows that my hands are one of my best (physical) features. always have my nails done and hands soft. this said, my nails will be ELECTRIC BLUE for the wedding. other than having my fiance with me the whole day, that will be my only requirement. to heck with only wearing blush tones on my wedding day! i'm wearing my favorite color. 2 agree Reply lol, just read this post. It's obvious who the nail company is. To me at least. I only know of one nail polish people who have named one of their lines "Diamond Strength." My nails are totally gonna be blue if I can't find the perfect blue shoes. 2 agree Reply Me too! I'm going to have blue nails to match my blue shoes (once I find them that is). I always thought that would be a fun job, coming up with the names for nail polish:) 2 agree Reply I threw up a little when I read the names of the nailpolish 1 agrees Reply Leave a Reply to Blake Cancel Reply Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *Comment No-drama comment policy Part of what makes the Offbeat Empire different is our commitment to civil, constructive commenting. Make sure you're familiar with our no-drama comment policy. Biz owners & wedding bloggers Please just use your real name in your comment, not your business name or blog title. Our comments are not the place to pimp your website. If you want to promote your stuff on Offbeat Bride, join us as an advertiser instead.