Male wedding privilege as seen from a transgender groom’s perspective
I have been thinking about the weird privilege I’ve held as the male-presenting person in this relationship. I believe this is because people want to honor my identity and respect my maleness, yet it feels uncomfortable and untrue… because it erases the fact that those images don’t actually fit our queer relationship, and they don’t include my trans-ness.
The end of marriage as we know it, or: Why I won’t be making it legal
We do not currently live together, we have three cats between us, only one of us (me) has US citizenship, oh and she doesn’t fly… During those many anxious months, we were often asked if we’d get married so that she could immigrate. Every time it came up I had such vehemently negative response. I recognize that at some point I may have to sign papers, because the state has a nasty way of making itself necessary. But I’d prefer not to and I plan to avoid it if at all possible, and here’s why…
I blow my nose on dirty socks: why my wedding won’t reflect who I am
My wedding — as an event — will not represent me as a person, because that person rarely brushes her hair, would rather sleep for five more minutes than shower, and can’t cut paper in a straight line. I’ve always secretly dreamed of unleashing my long-suppressed inner fancy bitch for the “big day,” princess style.
I promise not to let being the center of attention go to my head: My vows for wedding planning
Wedding planning getting you down or feeling overwhelming? You might to exchange wedding planning vows with Offbeat Bride Brigitte Fires. Yes, we said “wedding planning vows” — maybe the second most important vows you’ll ever make.
Warrior Brides of the 21st century: No more resting in bubbles of wedding planning privilege
I am a Caucasian, cisgender, homosexual woman. My fiancé is transgender. Xe was assigned-female-at-birth but identifies as genderqueer and uses the gender neutral pronouns xe/xyr/xem. No one ever uses xyr correct pronouns unless they are explicitly told to use them and even then some people flat-out refuse. So what do we do about it? I am done sitting in my bubble of privilege. I am popping my bubble, donning the outfit of a warrior bride (think chainmail veil), and taking my vocal sword into the crowd and to my wedding!
“Not an effort to be unique, but an effort to be us”
The New York Times recently ran an article called Your Hand in Marriage, and Offbeat Bride got a nod for our DIY posts. That’s cool, but what really caught my eye was this quote from a bride named Lauren Ireland:
“I felt like there’s such a movement to homogeneous wedding styles with Pinterest and Etsy, which are wonderful tools but do seem to make things seem very similar,” she said.
Her wedding, she added, represented “not an effort to be unique, but an effort to be us.”