Philosophizing | Offbeat Bride

This is Offbeat Bride's archive of Philosophizing posts.

Sometimes it's just about the big picture stuff. How do you FEEL about your wedding? What does it all MEAN!?

Most Recent Posts About Philosophizing

Does this adorable Save-the-Date have the ability to make your wedding-saturated mind go nutso? Apparently, it can and it has!

So, I'm getting married. Like, ring on finger. Like, picked a date. Like, getting magazines delivered monthly to my door, reserving room blocks, and picking out "my colors."

It's all a lot of input and should-haves and should-buys and not long after I said yes to a man, I was saying yes to websites, and wedding favors, and steak or chicken, and extra tents, and a whole lot of material things to make the one non-material thing in my life look really pretty in yellow ribbon and daisies.

And, although the semi-addicted online shopper in me enjoys parts of this exploration, it does become a glitter and bubbles-filled tornado after awhile. And I was spinning out of control.

It happened one late night while I was searching Save-the-Date postcards…

We've talked about hiding your wedding-related details on Facebook, but we haven't yet delved into how to handle the things you CAN'T hide, like your friends posting photos of your more intimate wedding events. Here's how Offbeat Bride Tribe moderator, Foxes.in.sockses, took on her situation.

Engagement ring envy — the stuff of legend and myth? Or a nasty side effect of being engaged and the wedding industrial complex? Since the holidays are a popular time to propose, we thought we'd share Offbeat Bride reader Sarah's thoughts as she delves into her inner psyche and explores the deep annals of her engagement ring envy demons.

I am butch. I have short hair and don't wear bling, or dresses, or sexy underwear, and love button-downs, and am a martial artist… I occupy "masculine" on the public radar. I am very excited for the wedding. but at the end of the day I am damn excited to put on fancy clothes and say nice things to my gentleman and eat awesome food and have our parents meet each other and get my relationship validated by our families. So, why am I so determined to pretend I don't care?

Not long after I joined the Offbeat Bride Tribe, another member posted her feelings about the offbeat lite-ness of her wedding. Ariel posted a reply stating that this issue comes up every year or so and she finds it's best to let Tribe members figure it out for themselves.

Wise words, Ariel. I didn't get it at the time, but the last six months have been a journey for me, a journey of discovery about myself, about my future husband and about the US we have created. If I could sum it up in one line, it would be:

I LIKE WHITE CHAIR COVERS AND I CANNOT LIE.

Many Anglo-Americans have such a mishmash of culture that they have few or no traditions that hold significant meaning for them. Perhaps people are inclined to like culture, symbolism, rituals, and traditions. Maybe they seek these out in other cultures because they don't have any of their own. Perhaps people seek to set themselves apart from a family or culture that they don't wish to be a part of or celebrate.

I am feeling the pressure to "give in" to a gown in the white family, like ivory or eggshell. Few people are immediately dismissive of a non-white dress, but over time they begin saying things like, "How will we know who the bride is?" and, "You will look like you're going to prom!" and everything in between. It's started to seep into the more doubtful and anxious parts of me and I start to wonder — "is this BRIDAL enough?"

Since I got engaged, I've been saying that I have "open expectations," a phrase I learned here on Offbeat Bride. (Correct use of the term "open expectations" could be something like, "My expectations are not low, they are open.") At thirty-three days to go until my wedding, I've learned that the best thing about open expectations is this…