1.5k

My wedding is changing my relationship with religion

I'm Jewish, but I'm not very observant. My fiancé is agnostic and was raised Christian. Before we got engaged, I didn't think much about the specifics of a ceremony. When we got engaged, I was surprised by how important it became to me to have at least some elements of a Jewish ceremony incorporated into our wedding.

1.1k

Planning a wedding as a fatherless bride

Despite the joy and enthusiasm I felt about getting married, not having my dad there meant there was a shadow, which for me made wedding planning — especially some of the emotions and complexities — as if I were planning both a wedding and a funeral. Death and life. Beginnings and endings. Joy and grief. It was all wound up together in a giant ball of messy emotions.

642

How "all about the bride" is not about the bride at all

I knew going into wedding planning that there would be a lot of cooks in the kitchen, we knew there would be a few things where we just couldn't compromise and would have to put our collective foot down. I offered, early on, to be the bad guy in these situations, since I could just say "I'm the bride, and this is what I want." Turns out, no one cares if I'm the bride unless I want what "the bride" is supposed to want in their minds. "I" have been erased from the process. Let me give you some examples…

462

Queer femme hearts trans man: the legitimacy of love

Being fully, unapologetically ourselves comes with risks and can be both contentious and dangerous. We are violated, belittled, deprived of love, victimized, isolated and left wanting… both by larger systems and communities, and by people we thought we could trust. Amidst the pain or discomfort, we have to remember that there is hope.

592

When family tragedy strikes during wedding planning

To every cloud there is a silver lining — and the silver lining to my father's stroke and the fear that we were going to lose him was that when, five months later (six months until the wedding), my fiancé's mother died suddenly and unexpectedly. I was much better equipped to understand what he was going through. And I was better able to support him. In those first few days after she died we talked about many things, some trivial and some very important…