Shortly after my engagement, a friend who was also planning a wedding gently dragged me to a big bridal show in Atlanta. I knew it wouldn't be the most exciting experience for me. Still, I figured what's the harm? Maybe I'll find a booth that inspires me. Maybe it'll be a little fun, expand my horizons. Maybe there'd even be free champagne? There was no free champagne. And it wasn't fun. Instead, there were three big secrets I unearthed about the wedding industry from the one and only big bridal show I attended…
This is Offbeat Bride's archive of WTF!? posts.
For alt-brides, wedding planning offers a non-stop stream of WTF moments, from cringe-worthy articles to heinous wedding supplies. Here, we document the most outrageous.
Oh, hi there, Wedding Industry. So we meet again. Mind if we sit down? I'd like to have a little chat with you. I don't like this trend of "funny" and "helpful" wedding planning "articles." Those sarcastic, mean-spirited articles that are meant to be "helpful tips" to new brides talking about how much wedding planning sucks and if you don't feel bad about yourself and your life while you're planning your wedding, you should hate yourself. Oh, Wedding Industry, I know you think they're funny. But they're not. They're passive aggressive and mean-spirited and downright hurtful.
You all know how we feel about the word TACKY in these parts, right? You've read my manifesto from 2007, right? Well, I can't help but think that Weird Al gets us… he really gets us. As do Aisha Tyler, Margaret Cho, Eric Stonestreet, Kristen Schaal, and Jack Black, who all appear in this parody of Pharrell's "Happy."
I've written in the past about the pressure put on so many brides to lose weight for their weddings (and how I suggest people handle it). I love that Psychology Today is now tackling this sticky subject with their article, Fighting the Unhealthy Cultural Push for Wedding Weight Loss…
It started with the oh-so-popular taking of my husband's last name question. The reason I really wanted to keep my own name had nothing to do with feminist ideals — I simply like the sound of my own name. Needless to say, this was just the first of MANY questions I've answered with similar responses.I've learned that no matter how I respond, someone will view it as a statement. All we're really trying to do is throw a beautiful and fun wedding with all of our friends and family. Our relationship is a relationship… not a statement open for critique.
I'm not expecting a wedding shower this time around, and as a consequence, I am spared the bizarre rounds of public humiliation that pass on Pinterest as "shower games." Has anyone else noticed these games? And the number of them that circle around "naughty" ideas? I understand that some of these come from our socio-cultural anxiety surrounding the traditional fact that a wedding is when a virginal girl becomes a sexually experienced woman. But the "naughty party games" feel like a different thing… as if they're designed to be specifically humiliating.
Random rice throwing, out-of-place formalwear, and children carrying expensive things… all things that totally fly at weddings, but are weirdorama in real life. Let's get creeped out together and get a midday rib tickle with this Buzzfeed Video…
I'm excited to get married and I'm excited to throw a big party. That being said, I'm more than just a bride-to-be. I am not the first, nor shall I be the last, to feel frustrated about gendered bias. So what can I do? How can I battle these questions and expectations? This is my plan.
How does this video only have 75 views? We don't normally share sketch videos, but this one is about about how, sometimes, guys can get way more sentimental about wedding planning than girls. Give the video two minutes, and behold the full-frontal mind-fuck that bridal magazines can pull on ANYONE. "Ooh, this one looks like a grotto! Like a magical fairy mermaid grotto…"
I've been told my entire life — by movies, books, and trashy reality shows — that your wedding is just a magical event. Well, I've been engaged a few months now, and I'm ready for my magical moments to start happening. Getting engaged is pretty much like every other adult situation in your life: no one knows what they are doing and literally everyone is faking that they do. So that future generations don't succumb to the same delusion that I was blissfully in, I've compiled a list of things that nobody tells you about getting engaged.