891

You need to do over your proposal

I avoid talking about the "proposal" part of our life because a lot of people don't understand it. We are in the age of "ommggg look at this YouTube flash dance wedding proposal that went viral and is now being featured on Good Morning America!" Our story just doesn't fit into that American narrative. It was simple, I was a part of the conversation, and it was nothing big and romantic.

60

5 things Miss Manners hates that I LOVE

I requested the Miss Manners wedding book (published in 2010 — a mere four years ago) this week from my local library. The dilemma of how to address invitations when many of our friends and relations are cohabitating without being married was confusing me, and I figured Miss Manners would have something to say on the topic. She does, of course. She also has thoughts on everything else to do with weddings. I disagree VEHEMENTLY with some of her opinions…

147

I'm a fat bride

I recently posted on Facebook that I want anything emblazoned with "bride" to be changed to "fat bride." My identity as a fat woman is no secret, and I'm not ashamed of it. I bare my body with pride. However, not everyone feels the same way.

107

The 3 dark wedding industry secrets I unearthed at a mainstream bridal show

Shortly after my engagement, a friend who was also planning a wedding gently dragged me to a big bridal show in Atlanta. I knew it wouldn't be the most exciting experience for me. Still, I figured what's the harm? Maybe I'll find a booth that inspires me. Maybe it'll be a little fun, expand my horizons. Maybe there'd even be free champagne? There was no free champagne. And it wasn't fun. Instead, there were three big secrets I unearthed about the wedding industry from the one and only big bridal show I attended…

31

Why the Wedding Industrial Complex's "helpful" lists burn my biscuits

Oh, hi there, Wedding Industry. So we meet again. Mind if we sit down? I'd like to have a little chat with you. I don't like this trend of "funny" and "helpful" wedding planning "articles." Those sarcastic, mean-spirited articles that are meant to be "helpful tips" to new brides talking about how much wedding planning sucks and if you don't feel bad about yourself and your life while you're planning your wedding, you should hate yourself. Oh, Wedding Industry, I know you think they're funny. But they're not. They're passive aggressive and mean-spirited and downright hurtful.

22

We're bringing TACKY back

You all know how we feel about the word TACKY in these parts, right? You've read my manifesto from 2007, right? Well, I can't help but think that Weird Al gets us… he really gets us. As do Aisha Tyler, Margaret Cho, Eric Stonestreet, Kristen Schaal, and Jack Black, who all appear in this parody of Pharrell's "Happy."

51

My relationship is not a statement: Stop viewing our wedding decisions as some sort of socio-political performance

It started with the oh-so-popular taking of my husband's last name question. The reason I really wanted to keep my own name had nothing to do with feminist ideals — I simply like the sound of my own name. Needless to say, this was just the first of MANY questions I've answered with similar responses.I've learned that no matter how I respond, someone will view it as a statement. All we're really trying to do is throw a beautiful and fun wedding with all of our friends and family. Our relationship is a relationship… not a statement open for critique.

51

Who else thinks "sexy" wedding shower games are strange?

I'm not expecting a wedding shower this time around, and as a consequence, I am spared the bizarre rounds of public humiliation that pass on Pinterest as "shower games." Has anyone else noticed these games? And the number of them that circle around "naughty" ideas? I understand that some of these come from our socio-cultural anxiety surrounding the traditional fact that a wedding is when a virginal girl becomes a sexually experienced woman. But the "naughty party games" feel like a different thing… as if they're designed to be specifically humiliating.