I think it's time to agree that the word selfish is a lot like the word tacky: it can be applied to pretty much everything. It's all selfish! Now that we can agree that all of it is selfish, let's look at how best to navigate these things.
This is Offbeat Bride's archive of WTF!? posts.
For alt-brides, wedding planning offers a non-stop stream of WTF moments, from cringe-worthy articles to heinous wedding supplies to traditions that make you want to start cutting yourself. Here, we document the worst of the worst.
How does this video only have 75 views? We don't normally share sketch videos, but this one is about about how, sometimes, guys can get way more sentimental about wedding planning than girls. Give the video two minutes, and behold the full-frontal mind-fuck that bridal magazines can pull on ANYONE. "Ooh, this one looks like a grotto! Like a magical fairy mermaid grotto…"
I've been told my entire life — by movies, books, and trashy reality shows — that your wedding is just a magical event. Well, I've been engaged a few months now, and I'm ready for my magical moments to start happening. Getting engaged is pretty much like every other adult situation in your life: no one knows what they are doing and literally everyone is faking that they do. So that future generations don't succumb to the same delusion that I was blissfully in, I've compiled a list of things that nobody tells you about getting engaged.
When my fiancé Elliot and I got engaged, we didn't have any plans to take engagement photos. But when we started our wedding research, we had a bit of a chuckle seeing the same series of photos again and again. As a joke, we started talking about doing spoofs of the photos… and then we did it for real.
With my marketing and public relations background, I really should have known that once I started calling vendors, my name would wind up on someone's mailing list. For the last several weeks, I have been receiving regular junk mail from my area's WIC staple vendors. So I've come up with several solutions of what to do with all that gross junk mail…
I have sworn off all wedding-related things. Or, at least, things not related directly to my wedding. This includes TV shows, magazines, The Knot, and any other website that makes me have unrealistic expectations of my nuptials. This "wedding propaganda," as I have so lovingly been calling it, has only overwhelmed me, smothered my own voice inside my head, and made me feel inadequate in the planning and execution of my own wedding. This is unacceptable.
"He saw you?!" they say in a mixture of disgust and horror. Yes. He did see me. I asked him to take the photos. And yet, I don't feel as if our relationship is doomed for failure. Weird.
Are you familiar with this concept of styled shoots? It's when wedding vendors team up together to create a fantasy weddings, showing off what they can do. I totally get why styled shoots are great for vendors — it gives folks a chance to show off the kind of work they WANT to do — but we have a clear policy to never ever feature them on Offbeat Bride, and here's why…
Husband of the Future and I made an appointment to go to a major retailer to get a start on our registry. We ended up leaving when they totally ignored by groom, stating "Oh, he doesn't matter. Grooms don't matter at all! Everyone knows it's the bride's day!" So let's talk about standing up for groom-inclusion and voting with your dollars.
Since we've gotten engaged, a couple of people have mentioned things about "marrying your best friend." As in "Oh, isn't it great that you get to be with your best friend forever?" Let me be clear, if you are a person who feels that they will be marrying/have married their best friend, that's great! You do you, whatever makes you happy. But I'm a little weirded out that this seems to be the assumption now.
My fiance is not my "best friend" and I doubt he ever will be.
The internet loves snarking in general, but there seems to be something particularly digitally delectable about making fun of weddings. Sometimes it feels like nontraditional weddings get snarked on the most, but these days it seems you're just as likely to see people bitching about how all the wedding trends are played out. What I want to explore is WHY? Why does everyone love getting bitchy about weddings? I'm going to put on my sociologist/media studies hat and share a few theories…