1.4k

How we decided which wedding traditions to uphold or scrap

Sorting through wedding traditions is a Sisyphean task. American wedding traditions are a conglomeration of hundreds of different cultures, not to mention the endless traditions from our individual backgrounds. Traditions, especially ones associated with major life events, connect us with our past, reinforce our cultural values, and hold our communities together. We want to make sure we include elements of both of our families' cultures, but how do we figure out what to include and what not to include? Here's how…

Lost ships: When election results strike fear in your wedding planning heart

It's safe to say this recent election has brought increased tension to the (often already-dysfunctional) dynamics in many families throughout the nation. As the weeks go on, many of you (especially on the not-winning side of the election results) may now find yourselves feeling lost at sea in turbulent political and emotional waters. And if your shipmates in this metaphor are the family members with whom you most butt heads, it can feel like there's mutiny afoot.

Oh, and all your seemingly-mutinous shipmates? They are invited to your upcoming wedding.

1.4k

Fear and loathing and wedding planning: working through your shit during the engagement

The engagement period, the period between "Yes" and "I do," is transitory — a life-changing transition. We spend a lot of time focusing on the actual day. It is, after all, supposed to be the "best day of your life." There are magazines, websites, and blogs dedicated to this monumental moment, but few people talk about the importance of simply being engaged. Marrying another person is a big deal. A lot comes with that commitment.

Here are my lessons learned…

2.6k

Why I'm keeping my wedding photos to myself (& off social media!)

Inviting people to your wedding who take blurry camera phone pictures of your first dance and your cake cutting and then put them on Facebook is the first lesson in wedding humility, letting your vanity go in cringe-inducing waves of overly indulgent boob shots and bad camera angles. The thing is, though, that I don't owe my social media community anything more than that. After all, I am just a normal, average person. Our most extraordinary day was a mere blip on my newsfeed map, but for me, it was so much more than that; it was the start to a lifelong journey of which I can only hope to be nothing but happiness.

1.4k

Why two independent, liberal feminists chose the flawed institution of marriage

I never wanted to get married. Marriage is an incredibly flawed social system. Growing up, I identified with intrepid Jo March, whimsical Anne Shirley, and adventurous Laura Ingalls. I liked how independent they were, how imaginative, how grandly themselves. When each of my heroines tied the knot, I felt inexplicably disappointed. Marriage's past is smattered with values we reject. But marriage also has a future, with opportunity for change. Is this an institution with of we want to be a part? What inspired two young, marriage-shy independents to happily enter into an engagement?