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Male wedding privilege as seen from a transgender groom's perspective

I have been thinking about the weird privilege I've held as the male-presenting person in this relationship. I believe this is because people want to honor my identity and respect my maleness, yet it feels uncomfortable and untrue… because it erases the fact that those images don't actually fit our queer relationship, and they don't include my trans-ness.

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The end of marriage as we know it, or: Why I won't be making it legal

We do not currently live together, we have three cats between us, only one of us (me) has US citizenship, oh and she doesn't fly… During those many anxious months, we were often asked if we'd get married so that she could immigrate. Every time it came up I had such vehemently negative response. I recognize that at some point I may have to sign papers, because the state has a nasty way of making itself necessary. But I'd prefer not to and I plan to avoid it if at all possible, and here's why…

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My relationship is not a statement: Stop viewing our wedding decisions as some sort of socio-political performance

It started with the oh-so-popular taking of my husband's last name question. The reason I really wanted to keep my own name had nothing to do with feminist ideals — I simply like the sound of my own name. Needless to say, this was just the first of MANY questions I've answered with similar responses.I've learned that no matter how I respond, someone will view it as a statement. All we're really trying to do is throw a beautiful and fun wedding with all of our friends and family. Our relationship is a relationship… not a statement open for critique.