About a year ago, I attended a friend's wedding and spent the whole ride home wondering why the wedding had felt so… not them. It was as if we had walked into anyone's wedding, and aside from some very sweet vows, it felt like we were celebrating a watered-down version of the geeky, gamer couple that I knew and loved so much. I want to make this wedding about us, and the geeky things things that brought us together. But… can we [enter geeky reference here] without ostracizing our guests?
This is Offbeat Bride's archive of Features posts.
When we want to get more thoughtful about things on Offbeat Bride, this is the spot for our feature articles. Sometimes we talk big-picture philosophies, other times we discuss wedding trends, and every once and a while we just go ape-shit over a wedding WTF?!
I'm a Disney FREAK! I love the movies, I love the land, and I love Belle from Beauty and the Beast! So my amazing bridesmaids planned a Disney-themed stagette. All the ladies dressed up as their favorite princesses/Disney character!
Wedding planning getting you down or feeling overwhelming? You might to exchange wedding planning vows with Offbeat Bride Brigitte Fires. Yes, we said "wedding planning vows" — maybe the second most important vows you'll ever make.
I'm not expecting a wedding shower this time around, and as a consequence, I am spared the bizarre rounds of public humiliation that pass on Pinterest as "shower games." Has anyone else noticed these games? And the number of them that circle around "naughty" ideas? I understand that some of these come from our socio-cultural anxiety surrounding the traditional fact that a wedding is when a virginal girl becomes a sexually experienced woman. But the "naughty party games" feel like a different thing… as if they're designed to be specifically humiliating.
I first wrote about unplugged weddings way back in 2011, with a two-post series. The posts went crazy viral and in the three years since then, the idea has picked up major steam. The Huffington Post noticing the trend in 2012, and New York Times picking up on the concept in 2013. I'm happy to say that the concept is now popular enough that it's no longer seen as "offbeat" in any way.
I am a Caucasian, cisgender, homosexual woman. My fiancé is transgender. Xe was assigned-female-at-birth but identifies as genderqueer and uses the gender neutral pronouns xe/xyr/xem. No one ever uses xyr correct pronouns unless they are explicitly told to use them and even then some people flat-out refuse. So what do we do about it? I am done sitting in my bubble of privilege. I am popping my bubble, donning the outfit of a warrior bride (think chainmail veil), and taking my vocal sword into the crowd and to my wedding!
Random rice throwing, out-of-place formalwear, and children carrying expensive things… all things that totally fly at weddings, but are weirdorama in real life. Let's get creeped out together and get a midday rib tickle with this Buzzfeed Video…
The New York Times recently ran an article called Your Hand in Marriage, and Offbeat Bride got a nod for our DIY posts. That's cool, but what really caught my eye was this quote from a bride named Lauren Ireland:
"I felt like there's such a movement to homogeneous wedding styles with Pinterest and Etsy, which are wonderful tools but do seem to make things seem very similar," she said.
Her wedding, she added, represented "not an effort to be unique, but an effort to be us."
Your cousin is freaking out. Can you please explain to me what you're wanting her to wear?" I sighed heavily at my aunt's text before copying and pasting pictures, and explaining, for the umpteenth time. And refrained from adding, "Not. That. Hard." as I face-planted into a pillow and muffled a scream. I don't care which shade of teal they are! If I'm not stressing, why is everyone else stressing? Their stress is stressing me out! I expressed the latter to my wedding planner and she, most beautifully and perfectly, laughed along with my sentiments before gently reminding me, "they are all here on the common goal of supporting you and your happiness." And just like that, my perspective changed.
We'll hopefully be profiling the full wedding soon, but I have to stop first to give some snaps to Rob here and his impeccable gothic-tinged suit, complete with one of the most beautiful red jackets I've seen in a long time. Oh, and the buckled red vest? Amazing. The detailing, you guys… THE DETAILING. And the accessories! And his bride, Liz. Just wait…