…Then I realized I was focusing on how I looked over how I felt, or how I wanted to move through this event. I was thinking about wanting to be my "perfect self," but only on the outside. I finally let it go. I finally hit the point where I said "I am not my envelope."
This is Offbeat Bride's archive of Features posts.
When we want to get more thoughtful about things on Offbeat Bride, this is the spot for our feature articles. Sometimes we talk big-picture philosophies, other times we discuss wedding trends, and every once and a while we just go ape-shit over a wedding WTF?!
I have never seen such amazing love, support, and genuine helpfulness from complete strangers. Not only did the Tribesmaids help with my problem, they lifted me up, and (pardon the cliche) removed a heavy black cloud from my shoulders. They showed me not only ways to move past my problems, but, in meeting some of them who have already done so, showed me it could actually be done.
I don't want any of you looking back on your wedding and being like, "God, I don't even like Game Of Thrones that much." Offbeater-than-thou weddings just for offbeatness' sake? That's a misdemeanor right there, and we won't arrest you, but we will escort you off of the property to head over to Offbeat Home & Life's archives, where we can support you with awesome articles to build self-awareness and confidence. We believe in rehabilitative treatment here.
I can't lie; part of me has struggled with the fact that I am not completely being a build-it-yourself "budget bride" like I had anticipated I would be. I'm letting myself splurge on a little luxury — the luxury of not having to fret about every little detail and allowing people who know what they're doing take the reins. Even though there will be plenty of opportunities for personal creativity in the ceremony, garb, décor, and atmosphere… I still feel a little bit like a sell-out.
People who know me know that I've never had any interest in sex. So when my fiancee and I declared that we were getting hitched, we got a lot of strange looks and a lot of probing questions. We've had to make some compromises when it comes to sex and have finally settled into an arrangement that works for the both of us. But the question is continually posed, "If you don't like sex, why marry the guy? (And why would he want to marry you?)"
I have taken so much joy (if that's even the right word) in seeing how other Offbeat Brides have made touching, bittersweet acknowledgements of those who can only be there with them in spirit. It seems that those rituals are surprisingly absent from "traditional" wedding magazines and blogs. My mom passed away almost two years ago, but my parents didn't get married until four days before she died. And I know that being a part of that wedding has empowered me to craft an offbeat wedding that I can proudly take ownership of.
How does this video only have 75 views? We don't normally share sketch videos, but this one is about about how, sometimes, guys can get way more sentimental about wedding planning than girls. Give the video two minutes, and behold the full-frontal mind-fuck that bridal magazines can pull on ANYONE. "Ooh, this one looks like a grotto! Like a magical fairy mermaid grotto…"