The challenges of planning a straight wedding as a feminist queer bride

Planning a straight wedding as a lifelong feminist and member of the LGBTQ community was a challenge wrought with emotion, guilt, and confusion (in addition, of course, to all the blissful feelings of being engaged and in love).

I was a feminist way before it was cool, when it was decidedly UNCOOL. I realized that I liked girls as a teenager in the nineties going to a Catholic school, where the only openly gay teacher was a female gym coach who wasn't allowed in the girls' locker room. Gay marriage would not be a reality until nearly 15 years after I realized I might want to marry a woman. At different points in my life, I've hated both men and straight people; not out of malice, but out of fear, rejection, and really bad experiences.

Then I decided to marry a straight dude.

Bay Area couples: win FREE wedding photography from one of our most favorite photographers

It's easy to talk about how the Bay Area's Funny Bunny Photography will ROCK your wedding day and bring out the best in everything, but we've got even more in store. You've got a chance to get a totally free wedding photography package (with eight hours of coverage and digital files!), a $1000 gift certificate towards a photography package, or a free engagement session. It's easy to enter and no pressure to use it if you win. Go enter now!


How would you feel being Photoshopped to look skinnier in your wedding photos?

I attended my best friend's wedding as a bridesmaid. I was pretty fat at that point and had to wear a, granted, not-that-flattering sleeveless dress. But it looked fine, in my opinion. Once the wedding was over and we all got to peek at the photos, I was surprised to see that a photo of me had been obviously Photoshopped to skinny me up. I'm sure this photography team thought I'd be pleased to see this version of myself, but I definitely wasn't…