Oh, hi there, Wedding Industry. So we meet again. Mind if we sit down? I'd like to have a little chat with you. I don't like this trend of "funny" and "helpful" wedding planning "articles." Those sarcastic, mean-spirited articles that are meant to be "helpful tips" to new brides talking about how much wedding planning sucks and if you don't feel bad about yourself and your life while you're planning your wedding, you should hate yourself. Oh, Wedding Industry, I know you think they're funny. But they're not. They're passive aggressive and mean-spirited and downright hurtful.
This is Offbeat Bride's archive of Features posts.
When we want to get more thoughtful about things on Offbeat Bride, this is the spot for our feature articles. Sometimes we talk big-picture philosophies, other times we discuss wedding trends, and every once and a while we just go ape-shit over a wedding WTF?!
You all know how we feel about the word TACKY in these parts, right? You've read my manifesto from 2007, right? Well, I can't help but think that Weird Al gets us… he really gets us. As do Aisha Tyler, Margaret Cho, Eric Stonestreet, Kristen Schaal, and Jack Black, who all appear in this parody of Pharrell's "Happy."
For these fancypants types, I bring you today's post full of loud colorful formal footwear in masculine styles. Of course there's some Fluevog action in here, but I've also got some Vivienne Westwood, Alexander McQueen, and some skull-covered Jeffery-West. The sad truth is that some of these shoes are really, really expensive… but they're also really, really fabulous. Even if you're just window shopping, there are styles in here to love…
I have been thinking about the weird privilege I've held as the male-presenting person in this relationship. I believe this is because people want to honor my identity and respect my maleness, yet it feels uncomfortable and untrue… because it erases the fact that those images don't actually fit our queer relationship, and they don't include my trans-ness.
I've written in the past about the pressure put on so many brides to lose weight for their weddings (and how I suggest people handle it). I love that Psychology Today is now tackling this sticky subject with their article, Fighting the Unhealthy Cultural Push for Wedding Weight Loss…
It started with the oh-so-popular taking of my husband's last name question. The reason I really wanted to keep my own name had nothing to do with feminist ideals — I simply like the sound of my own name. Needless to say, this was just the first of MANY questions I've answered with similar responses.I've learned that no matter how I respond, someone will view it as a statement. All we're really trying to do is throw a beautiful and fun wedding with all of our friends and family. Our relationship is a relationship… not a statement open for critique.
About a year ago, I attended a friend's wedding and spent the whole ride home wondering why the wedding had felt so… not them. It was as if we had walked into anyone's wedding, and aside from some very sweet vows, it felt like we were celebrating a watered-down version of the geeky, gamer couple that I knew and loved so much. I want to make this wedding about us, and the geeky things things that brought us together. But… can we [enter geeky reference here] without ostracizing our guests?
I'm a Disney FREAK! I love the movies, I love the land, and I love Belle from Beauty and the Beast! So my amazing bridesmaids planned a Disney-themed stagette. All the ladies dressed up as their favorite princesses/Disney character!
I'm not expecting a wedding shower this time around, and as a consequence, I am spared the bizarre rounds of public humiliation that pass on Pinterest as "shower games." Has anyone else noticed these games? And the number of them that circle around "naughty" ideas? I understand that some of these come from our socio-cultural anxiety surrounding the traditional fact that a wedding is when a virginal girl becomes a sexually experienced woman. But the "naughty party games" feel like a different thing… as if they're designed to be specifically humiliating.
I first wrote about unplugged weddings way back in 2011, with a two-post series. The posts went crazy viral and in the three years since then, the idea has picked up major steam. The Huffington Post noticing the trend in 2012, and New York Times picking up on the concept in 2013. I'm happy to say that the concept is now popular enough that it's no longer seen as "offbeat" in any way.
Random rice throwing, out-of-place formalwear, and children carrying expensive things… all things that totally fly at weddings, but are weirdorama in real life. Let's get creeped out together and get a midday rib tickle with this Buzzfeed Video…