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"Who's the 'groom' in your lesbian wedding?" Gender stereotypes and assumptions with gay weddings

"So, who's the guy in your relationship?" This question (or versions of it) is one of the more common questions posed to lesbian couples and the most frustrating. The reverse is true of male couples. While most people have posed this question with absolutely no malice or agenda, people in same-sex relationships (including myself) can get kind of huffy about it. That is not always helpful, so lets talk about that question.