Feeling crappy about yourself? Get a dose of body positivity RIGHT HERE #Fashion Advice#body image June 4 | Chris Wolfgang mswolfgang Photo by JBe Photography Who knows what triggers a bad day. You're going along, feeling pretty good, and then suddenly you're being sucked into a vat of negativity. "Nothing fits." "Why do I look this way…" "Why can't I…?" "Why am I…?" Oh, darlings. On those days, I wish I could give you all the hugs. Instead, I've got a whole armful of encouraging, beautiful photos and quotes about body positivity for you to wrap yourselves in. You're gorgeous, loves! Photo by Seattle Boudoir Photography Related Post Why you should consider boudoir photos. Or, how I learned to stop worrying and love my body This past Saturday I had a boudoir shoot, and it was honestly the most liberating experience of my life. I was nervous and apprehensive going... Read more I'm freakin' HOT! It doesn't matter about size or scars or weight or anything. What matters is how you FEEL. And I have never been more amazed at how comfortable I could be with myself. Read more: Why you should consider boudoir photos Related Post Dear Bridal Industry, we need to talk about "looking pretty" on our wedding day Dear Bridal Industry, I will not allow myself to become caught up in your ideals of what a bride "should" look like. I will not... Read more I will not let you tell me what to wear, how to fix my hair, or how I should do my make-up. I will not spend nights in tears because I am not "beautiful enough," or "thin enough" for you. I will not go on a crash diet. I will not refrain from getting my septum pierced for fear that you will tell me it makes me look less-than-bridal. I will not try to hide my stretched lobes or cover my tattoo. I will not be ashamed of my lopsided breasts. I am me. I look fine just the way I am, and I will not let you tell me otherwise. Read more: Dear Bridal Industry, we need to talk about "looking pretty" on our wedding day Photo by Whitney Lee Photography Related Post I promise not to let being the center of attention go to my head: My vows for wedding planning Wedding planning getting you down or feeling overwhelming? You might to exchange wedding planning vows with Offbeat Bride Brigitte Fires. Yes, we said "wedding planning... Read more I promise to love my body, and to let my partner tell me how beautiful I look in my wedding dress. I also promise not to compromise my choice of dress out of a misguided sense of worthlessness due to my rolls or double chin. I promise to stop trying to get out of hiring a photographer "because it's too expensive" just because I'm embarrassed to be seen in pictures. Read more: I promise not to let being the center of attention go to my head: My vows for wedding planning Photo by Lara and Susie Photography Related Post It's all magical fairy lights and love at Dawn & Shannon's pagan wedding This bride is my plus size beacon of confidence and fabulousness. Please come read about her gorgeous pagan wedding to her sweet groom and be... Read more As beautiful as I may tell myself I am, that dress represented the fear of having gained weight on an already large body. It wasn't a problem being fat, I just wanted to be certain I was fat and fabulous. Read more: It's all magical fairy lights and love at Dawn & Shannon's pagan wedding Photo by Kate O'Brien Related Post A Fat Bride Survival Guide A plus-size bride featured on Offbeat Bride a while back has written a great blog post full of tips titled A Fat Bride Survival Guide. If you feel up to it, you can always say something like "I'm not planning on losing weight for my wedding". You don't need to sass them back, or come back with a quip that will make them regret ever saying anything to you. You don't have time for that, and you'll feel rotten afterwards. Focus on your main goal – getting this theatrical monster of a wedding on the road. Read more: A Fat Bride Survival Guide Photo by The Dark Room Company Related Post Music and retro fashion abounds at Eris & Terrance's church wedding This bride never thought she'd get married, so when she found the love of her life, they both knew it was going to be anything... Read more The biggest challenge was feeling worthy of a wedding. I've always held the notion that black girls like me (queer, dark-skinned, nappy-haired, chunky), didn't get their happily ever afters. So I never put much time or effort into dreaming up a fantasy wedding. But I overcame the doubt of worthiness by remembering that I have a partner/teammate/husband/friend/homie who truly loves me unconditionally and without apology. He loves my whole self and doesn't ask me to dim the light I shine in this world. Read more: Music and retro fashion abounds at Eris & Terrance's church wedding Photo by Making the Moment Related Post Why is my wedding making everyone ELSE insecure about their bodies? As soon as my fiancé and I announced our engagement, there were a number of questions and comments we heard over and over and over... Read more I'm doing my best to emphasize body positivity, communicate to my friends and family that I love them just the way they are, and help those who wouldn't otherwise want to change their bodies understand that looks don't dictate one's ability to celebrate a marriage. Read more: Why is my wedding making everyone ELSE insecure about their bodies? Photo by Dawn's Eye Photography Related Post "How can a dress make you fat?": Judging my value by more than my clothes Recently, I overheard a (rather curmudgeonly) acquaintance complaining, "These days, no one cares about who you are inside or what you do anymore: you can... Read more … my fiancé has been able to bring some excellent perspective… for instance, when I make an offhanded comment about the possibility that my dress might conspire to "make me look fat," he replied: "How can a dress make you fat? You don't eat it." Read more: "How can a dress make you fat?": Judging my value by more than my clothes Photo from TravisandLucy Related Post 6 ways to survive wedding planning with your self-esteem intact Leading up to our wedding day, I felt terrible about myself. I'd gone and convinced myself that, during everything from my walk up the aisle... Read more … make sure you're paying a professional (either a dress-maker or bridal store) who encourages and supports all body types. Vendors who make disparaging comments about weight are worth neither your money nor your time. Read more: 6 ways to survive wedding planning with your self-esteem intact Photo from Katy Zimmerman Related Post It isn't all sunshine and unicorns: Reconciling my wedding expectations with my likely wedding realities In which a Tribe member lines up her great wedding day expectations, along with the crushing reality of the likely wedding day scenario, and realizes... Read more In ten days it will all be memory. In ten weeks it will all be "stories" to share. In ten months it will be "WOW! We've been married almost a year. So much has happened." In ten years it will be photos I look back on and smile, and memories I hold dear (possibly while sharing my wisdom with The Girls as they plan/dream about their own weddings). And in ten decades… in ten decades it will only matter that we lived and that we loved. Read more: It isn't all sunshine and unicorns: Reconciling my wedding expectations with my likely wedding realities Photo by Maile Lani I’d found myself on the phone with a friend, tallying off the list of note-worthy happenings: the visits, the bridal appointments, the body image, the self-hate. “You know all these things are connected to each other,” she said to me, as I abruptly broke down in a series of sobs that didn’t ease up as she continued, “I don’t think the fear is ‘What if I don’t look good?’ I think the real fear is ‘What if I look stunning and I accept myself for who I really am?’” Read more: Truce flags and wedding dresses: How I surrendered to a positive bridal body image Photo by Oliver Barth Related Post Maintenance-shaming: You don't have to pretend you're so cool that you're "over" your own wedding Upon hearing that I want my hair and makeup done, people say, "but you're so low-maintenance." So I have invented a term for what I'm... Read more … my wedding is complicated because I'm complicated. It's not Wedding Industrial Complex, it's me complex. We're having a curated playlist in lieu of a DJ, and barbecue for dinner because I'm the Cool Girl, but I'm also wearing heels and getting my hair and makeup done because I am a Pretty Pretty Princess. More than one personality type can fit within a person—revolutionary! Read more: Maintenance-shaming: You don't have to pretend you're so cool that you're "over" your own wedding Photo by Richard Related Post I am not my envelope: Letting go of my body image anguish ...Then I realized I was focusing on how I looked over how I felt, or how I wanted to move through this event. I was... Read more I finally let it go. I finally hit the point where I said "I am not my envelope." Sure, I want to feel my best during the wedding, but the choices I will make for that will be focused on what is right for what's inside the envelope… Now I'm planning on writing a mantra card and sticking it on my wall: I AM NOT MY ENVELOPE. Read more: I am not my envelope: Letting go of my body image anguish Photo from Beatrix734 Related Post Why I love my double-chin laugh (and hope to see it at my wedding) I love all the wedding advice about how to look good in wedding pictures. I really do. Aside from senior pictures, when else are you... Read more Attractive giggling and a well-composed chuckle aren't my thing. I'm a full-mouth, teeth-showing laugher. And I hope that I am laughing at least once on my wedding day and am not caring how I look… because I'll look and feel fabulous anyway. Read more: Why I love my double-chin laugh (and hope to see it at my wedding) Tell me, loves. What's your surefire method for reminding yourself that, as Abilene Clark said, you're kind, smart, and important? Get your daily dose of Offbeat AWESOME Reporter Name * Reporter Email * Original text Enter the original text here. Edited text* Enter your suggested copyedit here. Notes You can add a note for the editor here. * Required information. Fix Typo Chris Wolfgang Chris is a writer and editor in Omaha, Neb. She'll talk your ear off about independent webcomics, animated film, and Ultimate Frisbee. @chriswolfgang @mswolfgang PREVIOUS Don't want to carry flowers all day? Rock an arm bouquet like a boss NEXT Low heel wedding shoes: 11 pairs of old-lady shoes ladies of all ages will love Show/Hide comments [ 15 ] <3 this! 4 agree Reply This was really moving and inspirational. Thanks! 2 agree Reply I really needed to see this today. And I'm bookmarking it so I can bring it up whenever I need it (between now and the wedding, and, like, forever). 3 agree Reply This post made me smile! Reply This is a beautiful collection of one of my favorite things about OBB 🙂 4 agree Reply I love this post! But I'm super excited you used my wedding pic! It's the first one…the one with the legs! Yay! 1 agrees Reply Thank you thank you and thank you 🙂 1 agrees Reply Thank you so much for posting this <3 xxx 1 agrees Reply I needed this today. Bathing suit shopping today made me feel really down about myself. Now I feel awesome and think I'll go eat that ice cream that's been calling to me all night! Thanks! 🙂 2 agree Reply Wow, I just had a total break down today because of an issue completely related to this article. I tried on my wedding dress last week for my sister who was in from out of town and she told me, in a considerate way, that the tulle skirt underneath it made me look fat and I should wear it without the tulle because why would I want to look twice my size when I'm not…? Since then I've been very conflicted, I really loved the full tulle underneath and the poofy princess ball gown looking bottom and my mom even dyed the ends of the tulle pink, so when I lifted the skirt of my wedding dress up the pink would peek above my shoes…. But maybe I should forgo all that in case it really did make me look bigger… So in the middle of a workout with my SO today, because somehow I got in my head that maybe if I just lost weight I won't look as fat, I just started crying thinking it was so futile trying to lose enough weight for the wedding which is next month… It was the worst workout ever! Usually we do it to keep healthy but today I just felt this hideous pressure and hopelessness. My SO gathered me up and basically told all the things in this article after I told him why I was so sad. I really think he/all of you have the right idea but cognitive therapy is not easy… I'm really going to try to keep things positive though I'm still unsure about the tulle??? I hope I can change my brain and keep repeating weddings are about us being happy. Thank you everyone for writing these positive & insightful articles 1 agrees Reply Please, don't get rid of the tulle. Talking about it makes you sound so happy! You deserve to feel as beautiful as you want to feel on your day. Your sister is not communicating in maybe the best way, but she wants you to feel beautiful too. When you're on the dance floor, pink tipped dress twirling, she'll see that she was just blinded by societal pressures and be happy for you. <3 1 agrees Reply <3 Reply Love this article !!!!!! it made me feel good and I hope it will help all the brides to be feeling good about themselves ! Thank you a lot for this 🙂 Reply THIS!!!! All of this!!! I have embraced the body positivity and some days are very VERY hard, but this post is bookmarked on my phone, tablet, laptop, and desktops (both work and home) for when that pesky voice starts talking. Reply This was the best ever. I took so many important thoughts from this, and I think it will make a big difference keeping these concepts in the forefront of my mind in the final two months before the big day. I have a shot at sanity. 😛 Reply Join the conversation Cancel Reply Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *Comment Participate in this conversation via emailGet only replies to your comment, the best of the rest, as well as a daily recap of all comments on this post. No more than a few emails daily, which you can reply to/unsubscribe from directly from your inbox. No-drama comment policy Part of what makes the Offbeat Empire different is our commitment to civil, constructive commenting. Make sure you're familiar with our no-drama comment policy. Biz owners & wedding bloggers Please just use your real name in your comment, not your business name or blog title. Our comments are not the place to pimp your website. If you want to promote your stuff on Offbeat Bride, join us as an advertiser instead.