1.6k

Honoring a wedding you're not invited to: advice for an estranged mother

My daughter has estranged me and excluded me from her wedding.

A few good friends are keeping me company that day and I would like to plan an authentic small ritual to honour and celebrate my daughter and her fiance's love and union. Nothing religious, but something spiritual. Can you offer suggestions?

2.9k

Wedding as a political act: 8 ways to show your wedding is part of the resistance

We've talked for years about folks who've used their weddings as political statements, most notably with marriage equality back before it became legal nationwide… but we're in a different era now, and I'd argue that things are way more overwhelming than they were back then.

Let's talk about a few ways to make a political statement with your wedding…

2.2k

Why a dress seamstress might not work on your wedding dress

I am a costumer and have to deal with wedding dresses on a fairly regular basis. Typically, I am the only one in the shop who will go near them — the "scary mess it up" factor exists even long after the dress has been worn and donated to my organization. Many private seamstresses who I have spoken with refuse to do wedding attire because brides (and other members of their party, like Mom) have a reputation for being crazy over their dresses. Most of us are not willing to deal with that sort of drama.

1.4k

Weddings: the petri dish of family drama

All sorts of your interests and lifestyle choices probably seem a little odd to your family, but until you're planning a wedding, it's easy to just sort of ignore the differences. It's not until you have the combination of two families coming together, social anxiety, financial considerations, religious and cultural traditions that all these things are forced up into your face.

But of course aesthetic choices are just the tip of the iceberg — planning your wedding will bring all sorts of larger issues to the forefront like financial and wedding budgeting issues (how does your family approach conversations about money? What are the dynamics around gifts and loans? How do you talk about savings or wedding debt?) and social obligations (how does your family feel about dealing with abusive relatives? What about wedding invitation tit-for-tat?).