A few of the most common questions about Offbeat Bride, cheekily answered by the site's founder.
What do you mean by offbeat?
The dictionary defines offbeat as "not conforming to an ordinary type or pattern." To me, offbeat isn't about rebelling or showing the world how weird you are. Rather, it's about questioning all the wedding visions you've been fed and to striving to create an event that's an authentic reflection of you and your partner. Offbeat Bride isn't a judgment against traditional weddings — I've gone to traditional weddings that were beautiful expressions of the couple's backgrounds and beliefs. I aim to support brides all along the spectrum of tradition.
Why is your site called Offbeat Bride? Why exclude men?
Well, the simplest answer is that the website is named after my book, Offbeat Bride: Taffeta-Free Alternatives for Independent Brides, which was published by a women's press. That said, I do have a whole category of posts dedicated to grooms.
What's the difference between Offbeat Bride, offbeatbride.com, and OBT/offbeatbride.ning.com?
- Offbeat Bride: Taffeta-Free Alternatives for Independent Brides is my book, published in 2007 by Seal Press. It's half wedding memoir and half wedding advice.
- Offbeatbride.com is the blog that I originally launched to promote my book. It's updated five days a week, multiple times a day.
- Offbeatbride.ning.com is the home of the Offbeat Bride Tribe, also known as the OBT. It's a experimental private social network for people planning their weddings.
The Offbeat Bride blog (offbeatbride.com)
Where do you find the weddings you feature on offbeatbride.com?
Real Offbeat Weddings are all submitted by readers via an online questionnaire. Wedding porn often comes from the Offbeat Bride photo pool on Flickr and reader emails.
How can I submit my wedding to be featured?
Fill out the offbeat bride questionnaire and get your pictures on Flickr! Please know that while I receive waaaay more submissions than I can feature, I love reading every single one.
How can I submit someone else's wedding to be featured?
Email us with a link to where we can learn more about the wedding. If the photos are on a site that requires a log-in, we won't consider them out of respect to privacy of the couple. If you're a wedding photographer, please read this great advice before emailing photos of a client's wedding, but know that the best way to get your wedding photography work featured on Offbeat Bride is become a sponsor.
How do you pick which weddings to feature?
We like to feature weddings that people haven't already seen on other wedding blogs, and that show off the true range of offbeat styles. Here's more about how we pick which weddings to feature.
Why do you do Offbeat Bride?
I got married in 2004, so why am I still running a wedding website? Well, I'm going to let you in on a little secret: I don't particularly care about weddings. But I love wacky, wonderful people who are madly in love with each other. I love seeing the way non-traditonal people chose to celebrate their commitments, how they come together to honor love and their values. I like learning about new corners of culture … puppet-makers, steampunks, psychobillies, happy goths. I love the way brides and grooms express themselves through fashion and art, and I am a huge sucker for exciting wedding photography. Plus, I genuinely enjoy supporting smart women as they question and challenge the massive cultural expectations that come with weddings and marriage.
What can I expect to find on the blog?
Most of my content aims to be easy to digest and empowering. I feature a lot of photos of offbeat weddings running the gamut from hip but won't scare grandma all the way to Star Wars theme weddings. I profile at least three offbeat weddings every week, and provide a potpourri of advice, opinion, interviews, features, and perspectives written for people planning offbeat weddings. I'm not especially focused on vendors, and you won't see many high budget weddings on the site. I strive for diversity and (as the product of two gay families) love featuring offbeat lesbian weddings. Since I'm in Seattle, I mostly focus on North American weddings, but I do lots of UK, Australian and New Zealand weddings too — and have featured weddings from all over the world!
What's wedding porn, and why do you call it that?
Wedding porn has nothing to do with sex. It's just photos from other people's real weddings that may inspire you in your own wedding planning. I use the term porn as a play on "images that inspire desire," rather than "images of naked people engaged in sexual activities." I wrote more about my appropriation of the word porn over here.
Aren't some of the weddings you feature sort of, um, tacky?
Honey, it's not just some of them — they're ALL tacky!
What's with the ads?
I make my living as a writer, and the advertisements on offbeatbride.com allow me to continue working on the site. Without the ads, I couldn't justify updating offbeatbride.com five days a week … I'd have to focus on other freelance writing, because mama's gotta pay the bills. You can read lots more about how I do advertising over here and even more detail over here.
Where can I buy that thing I saw on your site?
Chances are that I don't know. Although I occasionally feature specific items for sale that I've found around the web, for the most part Offbeat Bride is not a shopping blog — it's an inspiration blog. I'm not here to tell you what to buy, I'm just sharing ideas that may inspire you. Furthermore, often the items you see on Offbeat Brides are DIY, custom-made, or otherwise not available to purchase anyway … so I encourage you to release the "MUST HAVE EXACTLY THAT!" reflex and instead consider it all as inspiration for what you might create yourself.
Offbeat Bride Tribe aka OBT (offbeatbride.ning.com)
Why is the OBT private?
Wedding planning can be a difficult time, and the community is closed to the public so that members have a safe space to deal with the challenges. While anyone can view the homepage of the site, the rest of network is visible only to members.
Who can join the OBT?
The OBT is designed for couples who are planning to get married. The network's features are not designed for vendors, officiants, journalists, casting agents, wedding enthusiasts, those hoping to become engaged, etc.
Why so exclusive?
The volume of people interested in the OBT has threatened to overwhelm the network's usefulness, so I've been forced to be more stringent about memberships.
But I run a wedding business and can't join — how can I reach offbeat brides?
Consider purchasing a text ad on the Offbeat Bride Tribe. Prices start at $20/week.
Ok, so I'm planning a wedding … but am I offbeat enough to join?
Yes. Remember, your wedding is not a contest. Your degree of traditional-ness is not a factor in new membership approval. As long as you're actively planning your wedding and take the time to fully fill out the profile questionnaire when you sign up, you'll likely be approved.
I've been a member of other wedding communities and found them mean-spirited — is the OBT like that too?
No. The OBT code of conduct is very clear that the network is focused on pro-active, constructive communication. There are plenty of online communities where you can bitch about weddings. The OBT isn't one of them.
Why is the OBT so confusing/hard to join/messed up/etc?
Because from the very beginning the OBT has been an experiment … and experiments don't always work smoothly. It's also been a victim of its own success, with the number of members overwhelming the network's usefulness at times. Oh and also? It's free, and you get what you pay for!
