A few of the most common questions about Offbeat Bride, cheekily answered by the site's founder.

What do you mean by offbeat?
The dictionary defines offbeat as "not conforming to an ordinary type or pattern." To me, offbeat isn't about rebelling or showing the world how weird you are. Rather, it's about questioning all the wedding visions you've been fed and striving to create an event that's an authentic reflection of you and your partner. Offbeat Bride is NOT intended as a judgment against traditional weddings — we aim to support brides all along the spectrum of tradition.

Why is your site called Offbeat Bride? Why exclude men?
Well, the simplest answer is that the website is named after my book, Offbeat Bride: Creative Alternatives for Independent Brides, which was published by a women's press. The more complex answer is that while I work to make Offbeat Bride inclusive … I just can't do it all! We do have a whole category of posts dedicated to grooms.

The Offbeat Bride blog (offbeatbride.com)

Where do you find the weddings you feature on offbeatbride.com?
Real Offbeat Weddings are all submitted by readers via an online questionnaire. Wedding porn often comes from the Offbeat Bride photo pool on Flickr, @replies to our Pinterest, and reader submissions.

How can I submit my wedding to be featured?
Fill out the questionnaire and get your pictures on Flickr!

How can I submit someone else's wedding to be featured?
Email us with a link to where we can learn more about the wedding. (If the photos are on a site that requires a log-in, we won't consider them out of respect to privacy of the couple.) If you're a wedding photographer or other vendor, you can find instructions on our submissions page. (Do know that the quickest way to get your work featured on Offbeat Bride is to become a sponsor.)

How do you pick which weddings to feature?
We like to feature weddings that people haven't already seen on other wedding blogs, and that show off the true range of offbeat asthetics. Here's more about how we pick which weddings to feature.

What's wedding porn, and why do you call it that?
Wedding porn has nothing to do with sex. It's just photos from other people's real weddings that may inspire you in your own wedding planning. I use the term porn as a play on "images that inspire desire," rather than "images of naked people engaged in sexual activities." I wrote more about my appropriation of the word porn over here.

Do you do giveaways?
Only as part of paid advertorial campaigns. For more about that, click here!

Why do you publish Offbeat Bride?
I got married in 2004, so why am I still running a wedding website? Well, I'm going to let you in on a little secret: I don't particularly care about weddings. But I love wacky, wonderful people who are madly in love with each other. I love seeing the way non-traditonal people chose to celebrate their commitments, how they come together to honor love and their values. I like learning about new corners of culture … puppet-makers, steampunks, psychobillies, happy goths. I love the way brides and grooms express themselves through fashion and art, and I am a huge sucker for exciting wedding photography. Plus, I genuinely enjoy supporting smart women as they question and challenge the massive cultural expectations that come with weddings and marriage.

Aren't some of the weddings you feature sort of, um, tacky?
Honey, it's not just some of them — they're ALL tacky!

Where can I buy that thing I saw on your site?
Chances are that I don't know. Although we occasionally do shopping posts, for the most part Offbeat Bride is not a shopping blog — it's an inspiration blog. I'm not here to tell you what to buy, I'm just sharing ideas that may inspire you. Furthermore, often the items you see on Offbeat Brides are DIY, custom-made, or otherwise not available to purchase anyway … so I encourage you to release the "MUST HAVE EXACTLY THAT!" reflex and instead consider it all as inspiration for what you might create yourself.

Offbeat Bride Tribe (tribe.offbeatbride.com)

Why is the Tribe private?
Wedding planning can be a difficult time, and the community is closed to the public so that members have a safe space to deal with the challenges. While anyone can view the homepage of the site, the rest of network is visible only to members.

Who can join the Tribe?
The network was designed for couples who are actively planning their weddings — as in, couples who've picked a date, have a budget, and are actively making it happen within the next couple years. The network's features are not designed for vendors, officiants, journalists, casting agents, wedding enthusiasts, wedding party members, those hoping to become engaged, those planning hypothetical weddings, etc.

Am I offbeat enough to join?
Yes. We do not care how "offbeat" you think you are or aren't — we only care that you're half of a couple actively planning a wedding, and that you take the time to fill out your registration form thoroughly. Again: we do not ask about or care about your offbeat-ness — this isn't a contest, and in four years we have never declined a member for being "too traditional." Ever.

How do you decide which members to approve?
Seriously, we do NOT care if your wedding is traditional or weird: if you meet our eligibility requirements (planning wedding, not a vendor) and you take the time to thoughtfully answer all the questions in your application, your membership will likely be approved. The only reason we decline applications from eligible members is if your application is incomplete/short-winded. If you follow these instructions, you WILL get approved.

How long does approval take?
Since each application is manually reviewed by a real live person, it can take up to a week. Please be patient with us!

Why so exclusive?
The volume of people interested in the Tribe has threatened to overwhelm the network's usefulness, so we've been forced to be more stringent about memberships.

But I run a wedding business and can't join — how can I reach offbeat brides?
Consider purchasing a text ad on the Offbeat Bride Tribe. Prices start at $12/week.

I've been a member of other wedding communities and found them mean-spirited — is the OBT like that too?
No. The Tribe code of conduct is very clear that the network is focused on pro-active, constructive communication. There are plenty of online communities where you can bitch about weddings. The Tribe isn't one of them.

I think the Tribe is exclusionary/heavy-handed/over-moderated/sucks/etc.
You're not alone. While I'm always sorry to hear when people feel this way, I certainly don't expect that this community is going to be a perfect fit for everyone, and I fully support each member finding a space online that feels right for them. You don't need to like all the Tribe's policies, but you do need to respect them — and if you can't do that, then it makes sense that you'd want to find a community that's a better fit for your needs. There are lots of great wedding communities out there, and I'm confident that if the Tribe doesn't feel like a good match, you'll be able to find something awesome for you.