Mingling strategies, and digestive system problems: Don't ignore THIS post-wedding advice!

Guestpost by Wendy M. Ringie on Jul. 28th

I fervently wish I had paid more attention to the "lessons learned" blog posts on Offbeat Bride when I was planning my wedding.

There were quite a number of posts that, in hindsight, were fonts of wisdom and if I could go back to do it again, I would have printed them out and underlined them.

Alas, I kept thinking "that could never happen to me!" and thus ran into a few problems during the day of my wedding.

I also stumbled across some things that are not regularly discussed (post-wedding shoots? Having a mingling strategy?) and thought I'd share…

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Dance on a bar with a couple of stylish grooms

By on Jul. 28th

Let me tell you about this Georgian, vegan bar in Tel Aviv called Nanuchka. Photographer Liron Erel claims it's famous for fantastic parties and dancing on the bar. Jonathan and Doron got married there after they prepped for the day at their own place and posed for some pics on gay-centric Rothschild Boulevard with their dog. The ceremony itself just oozes cool: Israeli singer-songwriter Aya Korem acted as officiant. Jonathan is a music agent, and she happens to be one of the artists he represents. Not to be outdone in the Cool Jobs category, Doron is a designer.

Clearly, awesome people abound at this wedding, but let's not overlook the details! Awesome groom gear alert: Jonathan and Doron sported complementary bow ties and some wicked suspenders. Le sigh. I've always loved the look of a crisp dress shirt and suspenders. I mean, how stellar do they look on a groom while he's dancing on the frickin' bar?

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Rachel & Jacob's handmade community wedding

By on Jul. 28th
View More: http://micheleshore.pass.us/rachel--jacobs-wedding

Photos by Michele Shore

The Offbeat Bride: Rachel, Nonprofit Site Coordinator (and Tribesmaid)

Her offbeat partner: Jacob, Game Designer

Date and location of wedding: The Gallery Event Room, Plano, TX — April 5, 2014

Our offbeat wedding at a glance: Jacob and I were paying for the wedding ourselves, so we needed to keep costs pretty low. The most important thing that made this easy and ultimately made our wedding special, was hand-making basically everything and accepting the help of friends. My best friend and her father made the wedding cake as a gift, my former youth pastor officiated for the low cost of a couple beers at the pub, and we had many parties watching Disney movies and sewing fabric flowers.

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Find out the secret to Atlanta's Sarah Gormley's refreshing and emotional wedding photography

By on Jul. 25th

OffbeatBride_SarahGormleyPhotography

Remember our sponsor Sarah Gormley — the Atlanta photographer that's all about fresh and honest wedding photography?

Well, Sarah's back with an announcement: she's now based in Atlanta, but will also stay very accessible to the Washington D.C., Virginia, and Maryland areas (her former stomping ground) at no additional travel cost. (But we'll get to that later.)

The last time we talked about Sarah, we were all about her refreshing photography style. This time, let's get into how Sarah pulls off all these stunningly warm, and natural wedding shots.

Hint: It's all about YOU…

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Orthopedic wedding footwear — dare we say orthopedic chic?

By on Jul. 25th

Some of us who are getting married have special needs feet — we've got arthritis, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and/or countless conditions that cause us pain or discomfort. Chronic pain doesn't make us love cute shoes any less! And heck: some of us who don't have chronic pain just plain old LIKE shoes that feel awesome.

So, here are a few options for those of us who need (or just want!) lower heel heights, more arch support, padded footbeds, and a little more love for our toes. Obviously, you know your special foot needs best and I'm certainly not saying every one of these styles will work for every foot… but each of these brands all have a solid commitment to comfort, stability, and support.

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Crystal & Gregory's red and malibu blue super wedding

By on Jul. 25th

It's a bird, it's a plane… it's Offbeat Bride's comic book-clad and caped superhero theme week! Get in the telephone booth and change into your wedding-gawking superhero tights — you're in for crime-fighting fun.

The Offbeat Bride: Crystal, Teacher Assistant

Her offbeat partner: Gregory, System Analyst

Date and location of wedding: Northeast Park Event Center in Gibsonville, NC — May 17, 2014

Our offbeat wedding at a glance: We decided that we wanted a fun, memorable wedding without destroying our bank accounts. We set a strict $5000 budget and stuck to it. We wanted to keep some traditional wedding ideas, but without being too stuffy and formal. Our wedding theme became comics and superheroes. It's something we both love, and we had a lot of fun finding comics for our centerpieces. I think we ended up getting all but two wedding-themed comic books that have been created.

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Quick! To the batcave! These 12 superhero weddings need you!

By on Jul. 24th

Never fear, faithful citizen! If you've never delved into our archive of superhero weddings, we at Offbeat Bride Headquarters are fully prepared to guide you into the depths of awesomeness that is the Offbeat Superhero wedding. Is it a garter? Is it a cake topper? No, it's — oh, wait. Yes. Yes, it is all those things. And socks and shoes and hidden T-shirts and so many more superhero-y things that you'll just have to come see for yourself.

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Do you hide your wedding media before you're actually engaged?

By on Jul. 24th

Hide yo' mags, hide yo' blogs! (Photo by: Maegan TintariCC BY 2.0)

Hello Offbeat Bride. First, I wanted to say that I do love your website and can't wait to be able to apply to become part of the Tribe! That being said, I have a question:

I was wondering if anyone has tackled the question of having wedding paraphernalia (e.g. magazines, etc.) in the home of a pre-engaged couple, if said couple has talked about marriage. Just curious if there are thoughts on etiquette.

I have two camps of friends:

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Alysha & Geb's "actors in love" superhero wedding

By on Jul. 24th

It's a bird, it's a plane… it's Offbeat Bride's comic book-clad and caped superhero theme week! Get in the telephone booth and change into your wedding-gawking superhero tights — you're in for crime-fighting fun.

The Offbeat Bride: Alysha, Actor and University Finance Admin Assistant
Her offbeat partner: Geb, Actor and Payroll Client Services Specialist

Date and location of wedding: Georgetown Ballroom, Seattle, WA — May 19, 2013

Our offbeat wedding at a glance: Since we're both actors (we met when we were cast in a show together), we wanted our wedding to be the best show we've ever been in, and the coolest party we've ever thrown. Our ring bearers wore superhero capes that my bridesmaid sewed, and our groomsmen wore superhero shirts under their suits and matching cufflinks. We hired a local graphic designer to design our comic book-inspired invitations (complete with a hand-drawn comic book drawing of us!). We're also religious, so we had a Christian ceremony.

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Why the Wedding Industrial Complex's "helpful" lists burn my biscuits

Guestpost by Mayday on Jul. 23rd
BS3A7156

Thanks to Ellen Vossekuil for uploading the bridethulhu and groomthulhu to our Flickr pool.

Oh, hi there, Wedding Industry. So we meet again. Mind if we sit down? I'd like to have a little chat with you.

Now, here's the thing. I can put up with hearing you tell me about how I need this One Thing to make my wedding Awesomer Than Everyone Else's because Everyone's Got One. I can listen patiently while I hear you prattle on about etiquette and about how Some Things Are Simply Not Done. And I don't like the fact that prices double every time I use the word wedding.

What I'm trying to say is, I get it. For quite a lot of people looking to get married, you fit the (rather large) bill. You formed all the stereotypes, after all! Who better to enforce them but the master?

But you know what I don't like? This trend of "funny" and "helpful" wedding planning articles I've been finding on Pinterest, wedding boards, and linked to on Facebook.

Don't give me that look. You know the ones I mean. Those sarcastic, mean-spirited articles that are meant to be "helpful tips" to new brides talking about how much wedding planning sucks and if you don't feel bad about yourself and your life while you're planning your wedding, you should hate yourself. Oh, Wedding Industry, I know you think they're funny. But they're not. They're passive aggressive and mean-spirited and downright hurtful.

Because here's the thing: Have you ever thought that maybe… just maybe… some of us are getting married because we're in love? That we're not using our weddings as a way to show off or one-up our friends and relatives and neighbors and Susan three blocks over, but because we genuinely love our partners and want to scream it from the rooftops? That it's not a desperate money-or-present grab, but that we've chosen people that we love and care about to be with us and share and enhance our joy? That everyone I have invited to my wedding is under absolutely no obligation to bring a gift or leave some cash or make a toast or even come if they don't feel like it?

I get passive aggression. I get guilt. They're my second-languages. Some days I speak them better than English. I know when someone is deliberately lashing out because it makes them happy to see other people who are already under a lot of stress (that you yourself put on them!) because they make easy targets.

Do you know who does that? Bullies.

I never understand why you want to pit brides against each other. Sure, it makes for better reality television, but if this is supposed to be the Most Important Part of a Woman's Life, why are you not making this about Sisterhood and building us up? Why do you tear us down left, right, and center — and now you're doing it under the guise of help?

Fuck you.

I refuse to let you steal my happiness, either through insistence or guilt. Telling me that I'm selfish or foolish for wanting — or not wanting — anything ain't gonna fly with me anymore. That shit is over.

So, to my fellow affianced:

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Batman, Doctor Who — pick your superhero flavor at this wedding

By on Jul. 23rd

Continuing in the spirit of superhero week here at Offbeat Bride, tag along with us to the Santa Barbara Zoo. Bridget and Sam got married there earlier this spring surrounded by subtle hints of superhero-dom: Batman cufflinks, a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle bow tie, the 11th Doctor and Amy Pond cake toppers… wait, what's that? The Doctor isn't a superhero? He is in my heart, okay, let me have my little pleasures, IT TOTALLY COUNTS.

But let's cease our squabbles and focus instead on more of the awesomeness that awaits you in the photos. Like kids in paper animal masks. A giraffe eating out of Sam and Bridget's hands. A flower girl with glasses. Bridget's sister as their wedding officiant.

And a plush Weeping Angel. Because what is a superhero without a villain?

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