The Offbeat Bride: Heather
Her offbeat partner: Johnathan
Our offbeat wedding at a glance: We mixed extremely traditional with very offbeat. Being a Roman Catholic ceremony, we got to pick from a list of options instead of designing it ourselves, but we picked those options we felt best represented us. No one in our families had been to a ceremony quite like it. The reception was the complete opposite: a simple barbecue picnic in the park. All of our favorite family functions are outdoor get-togethers with simple food, and we wanted our wedding to be the same.
Holding the reception in a public park also meant the wedding had to be dry, which provided a simple excuse so we didn't have to explain about our familial alcoholism to everyone. Instead, we had cakes that everyone could eat, including a cake for the diabetics in the family, and a gluten-free, dairy-free chocolate cake for those with dairy and gluten allergies.
The main cake was made by my roommate. There were many, many test cakes involved, and I'm pretty sure we ate cake for a solid month! The cake almost didn't come together, too. My awesome roommate had made and brought all the pieces to be assembled in the park, and forgot the dowels to hold it up! My friend Mary did an emergency run to 7-11 to get some Slurpee straws to hold it up instead.
Several members of my family, as well as myself and my husband are handicapped/disabled. We made sure that both the ceremony and the reception location were accessible for those with mobility limitations, and had American Sign Language interpreters and an interpreted seating section for the ceremony.
Tell us about the ceremony: John's family is Catholic, and were upset that we didn't have a full mass. Most of my family is non-Catholic, so we made sure to include lots of instructions and explanations in the program. We also had a traditional (although uncommon) wedding procession, with the bride and groom bringing up the rear together. Readings were tough to pick, as they had to be biblical, and we wanted to be as inclusive as possible. Overall, the theme was "Marriage is awesome, be excellent to one another."
Our biggest challenge: From my perspective, it was challenging dealing with the emotional fallout from unsupportive family members. From John's perspective, it was putting the whole affair together ourselves on a shoe-string, undefined budget. We spent less than the suggested tithe to the church on the entire wedding, and made our budget as we went along.
The focus quickly shifted from an impressive event, to one that felt authentic and achievable. It was a great challenge to separate the components that were truly meaningful to us and prioritize them appropriately. For example, although we wanted pretty flowers, we eventually realized we didn't really care what kind. So instead of hiring a florist, I headed down to Pike Place the day before, and picked out whichever flowers that I liked and were cheap that day. Bachelor/bachelorette parties and showers weren't really our idea of fun, so we had craft parties instead. Family proved to be an invaluable help, and gifted assistance (food, photography, etc.) instead of traditional wedding presents.
In the end, the stress of planning everything ourselves and working with such a small budget turned our wedding into a true community endeavor, resulting in a very intimate familial celebration.
Basically, the parents of both the bride and the groom and the wedding party are added to the traditional pre-mass processional. They each proceed up the aisle, two by two, with the bride and groom entering last. I got to walk up the aisle, towards this huge life changing moment, holding the hand of my best friend and biggest supporter. It felt more like us than anything else we did that day.
Also, during the exchanging of the rings, John was so nervous he held out the wrong hand at first! It made the moment seem much more human.
After the reception, we gathered our closest friends together and headed to Schultzy's, a local sausage and beer restaurant. John ran a basic D&D module that he had made just for the occasion, and we drank beer and nerded it up until I turned into a pumpkin and we finally called it a day.
Care to share a few vendor/shopping links?
- Photography: Mirrored Moments Photography
- Dress: Value Village Thrift Store, altered by Becca Goodman
- Hat: Bride's roommate, Sarah Robinson
- Hair: Crystal Glasgow
- Makeup: Shiro Cosmetics
- Table runners: Made by the bride and her support crew, with comics from a Half Price Books
- Flowers: Pike Place Market
- Rings: Local artist at Pike Place Market, Robert Matterson II
- Invitations: Dynamic Wedding Stationery
Enough talk — show me the wedding porn!
This post features Offbeat Vendors! Check out their vendor listing to see how they cater to Offbeat Brides: