Stop the violence against glassware: 6 sweet-ass alternatives to clinking the glass

By on Nov. 26th
sing1

Are you like me — a person who HATES the glass-clinking tradition? For the unfamiliar: guests bang their silverware against their drinking glasses until the couple (who are trying to enjoy their meal or have a conversation) stops everything and smooches while everyone cheers. I was so a-feared of this happening at our wedding, but didn't think ahead enough to figure out an alternative to discourage this kind of behavior. So my solution: the moment the clicking started I. shut. that. shit. down. I put on my best Megan bitch face and just slowly shook my head in a "this is simply not happening" way. Let me tell you, nary a glass was clinked after that.

If you're looking forward to glass-clinking, more power to ya! I wish you all the glass-clickings possible. But if you aren't comfortable kissing on command (or bringing out the bitch face to make it stop), here are some useful glass-clinking alternatives from the smarties in the Offbeat Bride Tribe

Make 'em work for it

I come from a long line of glass-clinkers. It's a big thing at weddings, at least in the Midwest. So we both knew it was gonna happen even if we politely requested that it not happen. In order to avoid said clinking, we came up with an alternative.

Any table that wanted us to kiss had to sing a song with the word "love" in it. Any song, and only a snippet so we could hear the LOVE. Then we'd kiss. This had many advantages. One: the whole table had to get brave enough to sing. Two: they had to choose a song. And three: it interrupted their own meals in order to do it. This drastically cut down on the number of times I had to swallow a gulp of food to play tonsil-hockey with my husband, and it was amusing to see which tables actually sang, and what song they chose.

If you have a semi-rowdy family, this might be a great way to keep the glassware silent but still allow them to have the fun of "making" you kiss. I put it in the wedding program and also told a few key family members, so that we got NOT ONE glass-clink.
-littleorangemonkeys

Some alternatives I've seen include:

  • Demonstrate the kiss you want the couple to have
  • Perform (poem, song, etc. about the couple)
  • Tell a story

Basically, you can make it as easy or difficult as you'd like if you want to give guests the option. My hubby and I didn't provide an option.
-Kirsten aka littleredlupine

Roll the dice

d20

We figured we'd steal from So you're going to sit through a wedding: the funniest wedding program evar and have an inflatable large D20, and you had to roll 10 or better for kissing to happen. although I suspect our nerdy friends will be playing with that thing all night.
-Redpixie

Just tell 'em no

If you and your fiance are shy, and you don't want to have to kiss on command, simply put a note in your program or a sign at the door. The wording could be something simple like, "We will not be having any kissing games during the festivities instead believing that everyone should be able to choose when and why they kiss. We ask that everyone please honours this request. Thank-you."

If you instead would just like to avoid the clinking but still have some form of kissing game (that won't involve personal trivia or stories coming out) you could try a game that focuses around other things. You could try general knowledge trivia, a name that song sort of game or a game of chance with a dice or cards (roll a number higher than 3, pick out a card and do the challenge on it, draw a heart from an ordinary deck).

Personally we will have a "tongue in cheek" comment in our day-of survival guide saying "Ninja spies (i.e. groomsmen) have been instructed to remove anyone caught clinking a glass…. but you'll be lucky if the bride doesn't get to you first! Instead there will be a trivia game explained at the start of the reception for which each correct answer will result in the couple kissing (that is if you happen to find a moment when they aren't kissing to begin with)."
-Debbie4020

Make 'em pay

A friend of mine had the idea to instead of people clinking glasses if you wanted the happy couple to kiss you had to put a dollar in a glass fish bowl that was on the table in front of the couple. Their idea was that the money would go to the honeymoon.
-Sheisig

Monica&Eric333

At this wedding, you didn't clink glasses to get us to kiss. You donated money to City of Hope. We raised $271. We didn't expect the mad stampede of guests waving dollar bills when we made the announcement. Boy did we have numb lips when it was over! We have such awesome people in our lives!
-Monica

Make 'em drink

Someone in my family put bottles of vodka on the tables and guests had to do a shot to get the bride and groom to kiss. I wasn't there, but everyone agrees it was memorable, and the wedding party/family/friends all like to have a good time and drink whilst doing it. -msmcelligottster

Maybe just use plastic cups? © by John Loo, used under Creative Commons license.

Make a different noise

I kinda like it, but being a science geek I think I'm going to ask people to resonate their glasses instead. It leads to fewer broken glasses and sounds lovelier. It's also harder to do, so that is better in my book. You basically run a fingertip around the rim of the glass to make it hum. Sounds easy, but isn't at all.

Also, my sweet Maid of Honor has already expressed disdain about glass-clinking during the meal at a previous wedding. She leaned over to me at said wedding and said, "If they try that at your wedding, I'm gonna yell, 'KNOCK IT OFF, they're trying to EAT!'" My Maid of Honor is amazing.
-Shabadeux

Now it's your turn! What are your glass-clinking alternatives?

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About Megan Finley

Megan Finley is the Associate Publisher for the Offbeat Empire. When she's not slaving away for the Empire, she's sharing her dork side on her own blog, Twitter @meganfinley, and Instagram @meggyfin.