Kelsey & Meghan's classic happy-sappy wedding

October 18 |
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Photos by Anne Ingman

The offbeat bride: Kelsey, Interior Designer

Her offbeat partner: Meghan, Hall Director at the University of Colorado

Date and location of wedding: Schaar's Bluff Gathering Center in the Spring Lake Park Reserve, Hastings, MN — June 30, 2012

Our offbeat wedding at a glance: We're two women who had a secular ceremony, invited only invited 75 people, and had them RSVP via Google Docs. We didn't do a bouquet/garter toss, have a wedding cake, sit-down dinner, party favors, or a DJ. But we did only spent $6,000.

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We didn't want to take out loans and start our marriage out already in debt just to have the "perfect" day. We made a lot of compromises, and sometimes even questioned our own decisions when they came under the microscope of public opinion, but we stuck to our guns. We decided that anything which didn't directly reflect our personalities, values, or priorities would be deleted. The goal was to keep enough tradition so that our ceremony and reception still felt like a wedding, in the most conventional sense, but streamlined the process so that it was affordable and authentic to us.

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Tell us about the ceremony: We started with dozens of Humanist ceremony wordings, and tried to keep the structure of a traditional ceremony. We had string music to walk us up and down the aisle, and we were each accompanied by our respective parents.

As a gay couple getting married in a state that doesn't recognize same-sex marriage, it was very important to us to keep some of the pomp and circumstance of conventional ceremonies. However, we don't ascribe to a certain faith, so we wanted the words we spoke to reflect our specific views and what marriage means to us.

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I, Meghan, take you, Kelsey, to be my wife, the mother of our children, and the companion of my days.
I pledge to support you in your hopes and dreams, as if they were my own.
I give you my promise that, from this day forward, you will not walk alone.
We will walk side by side, rich in laughter, close in friendship, as partners and companions, through times of joy and times of sorrow, for the rest of my days on this earth.
With this ring, I give you my heart.

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Our biggest challenge: All the little logistics that came towards the end caught me completely by surprise. For instance, I knew the photographer would want to take pictures of my dress, but I totally didn't even think to bring a wooden hanger. All I had was a cheap plastic one. I am still kicking myself about that.

The budget was also a challenge. It was not just one or two big things that made the difference. There were several major budget items that we simply deleted, but that still wasn't enough. We had to look at every aspect and cut some percentage out of even our highest priorities to make ends meet.

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List of things we made/DIYed: all dress-wearing attendant's dresses and sashes, my dresses, all the stationary items, our wedding website, a slideshow for the cocktail hour, props for our DIY photobooth (really just my laptop and a photo printer), the spread for s'mores, and an iPod playlist for the ceremony, cocktail hour, and reception.

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My uncle made all of the wood bases for our centerpieces, and a friend of mine did the flowers. Another friend of ours did everyone's hair, and one of Meghan's co-workers (and several other volunteers) acted as our day-of-coordinator.

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My favorite moment: The ceremony was my favorite part. We each wrote our own "Statement of Appreciation," which was a surprise the day of. We both laughed and cried (and laughed while crying) at the beautiful words we had to say about what each of us means to the other.

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My advice for Offbeat Brides: My number one piece of advice is to prioritize. Sit down with you partner, and pick four or five absolute "must-haves" and go all out on those things, and maybe don't stress so much or put as much emphasis on the rest. If one tradition is really important to you, or there's been one thing you've been dreaming about since you were a little girl, do everything in your power to do it. Then, if other things don't fit in the budget or you disagree with your family or friends about them, it's not as big of a deal. You know what you're willing to compromise on and what your priorities are, which allows you to better pick your battles.

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What was the most important lesson you learned from your wedding? At the end of the day, and after all the heartache, we learned that the definition and point of marriage is not only about what the couple means to each other, but what the couple's community mean to them. It wouldn't have mattered if every single thing that could have gone wrong had gone wrong on our wedding day because of all the love we felt.

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Care to share a few vendor/shopping links?

Enough talk — show me the wedding porn!

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  1. This looks wonderful and the quote from the vows is beautifully written. I wish I heard the whole ceremony as it seems that it was so personal to the couple. Also massive craftivism points for all that haberdashery!

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    • Thanks! I am totally open to sharing the wording of the whole ceremony, if you'd like! Just email me at kelselator@gmail.com and I'll forward it onto you!

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  2. You MADE the bridesmaids' dresses? they're gorgeous! I mean, everything is lovely, what a perfect weather day, but those DRESSES! I die!

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    • Wow, she made those dresses? I totally envy your skill of sewing. The bridesmaid dresses are pretty! Love the color.

      The pantsuits look pretty awesome too. =)

      Beautiful wedding!

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    • Thanks! I definitely would not recommend it to just anyone, but it was totally worth it! I never could have finished my own dress, though, if it wasn't for my dear mother. She came into town a whole week early to help me finish it up!

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      • about YOUR dress- did you use a pattern or just come up with it completely on your own? because it is GORGEOUS.

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  3. Yes!! Yesyesyesyes. To all of this. The DIY, the keeping what makes sense and trashing what doesn't, and most especially the part about a wedding being about community.

    Oh, and to the just married couple: this was truly spectacularly GORGEOUS! The two of you, the setting, the attire, and most particularly the love you can see in these photos. Congratulations and thanks for sharing this with all of us here.

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  4. Looks like so much fun. I love marshmallows. I love the blue. I love the speeches, we'll probably go for similar wordings. I love what you're both wearing. I'm blown away that you made the bridesmaid dresses. I'm so glad you had a day full of so much love. < 3 cheers.

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  5. I can't actually express how happy the pictures of this beautiful wedding make me. Everyone looks like they had so much fun and the couple look absolutely wonderful :D

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  6. I love all the weddings on OBB, but this one I just LOVE. Beautiful, heartfelt and fun WITH BEAUTIFUL DRESSES. Congratulations!!!

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  7. What a ridiculously beautiful wedding! So cool that you used that Schaar's Bluff center–I've been there and it's gorgeous. Congratulations!

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  8. Did I notice that there were reeses bars for smores? Not just regular chocolate bars? If that's the case, you women are GENUISES. Patent that shit, quick.

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    • I thought that too, Jane. And immediately began to ponder upon what other chocolate confections might make good s'mores. York peppermint patty is beckoning to me…it wants to be inside my s'more, then inside mah belly.

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  9. Thanks y'all!! I rarely check my OBT profile anymore, so if you want more info on anything we did, you can email me at kelselator@gmail.com.
    <3
    Kelsey (& Meghan)

    1 agrees

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