"Will you be my bridal sidekick?" The DIY anti-bridesmaid boxes

October 18 | Guest post by Amelia

I knew that I wanted to make a big deal out of asking my sidekicks to be part of our wedding party. I mean, it's a wedding. So, that alone is a big deal. It's also a queer wedding and my third marriage. My friends have stood by my side through everything, stuck it out and supported and loved me through it all. So asking them to have an honored position at my wedding is a HUGE deal and I wanted to recognize it as such.

But I'm not the kind of gal to give out fancy schmancy greeting cards or Tiffany necklaces. I had seen the "Will You Be My Bridesmaid" boxes on Pinterest and really liked the idea, but when I started to think about what I would put into one, I was clueless. There are no fabric swatches in my wedding, no required bridesmaid dress, no itinerary. With only two attendants, I didn't really need to introduce them to one another. Facebook had already taken care of that. And then it hit me! I would just Offbeat the concept! And thus was born the The DIY Anti-Bridesmaid Box!

I bought simple heavy cardboard boxes from the decoupage department of my friendly local craft store and covered them with awesome left-over fabric from a quilt I made last fall. I picked up a sheet of cheap craft felt for less than a dollar and lined the boxes with it.

On the inside of the lid, I decoupaged photos and quotes that related to my relationship with each woman. I also included a letter about how much I love and appreciate them.

Underneath the letter, the box is filled with little trinkets and treats.

The "real" gift was a recycled aluminum necklace charm of the state of Minnesota with a heart cut out where Minneapolis is, and a little package of salted caramel truffles.

And now for the fun stuff! I came up with a list of things that are typically requested of bridesmaids that I would not be asking my sidekicks to do. I found something representative of each of those things and attached a small tag to each one describing it.

"I won't ask you to buy an ugly dress that you will never wear again!"

"I will not ask you to do anything that involves you standing in front of a toilet holding my skirt up."

"I won't make you wear BLING or even say the word BLING"

"I won't ask you to spend money on a ridiculous bachelorette party, purchase/use anything penis shaped, or hold my hair while I vomit in the bushes after 17 Jell-o Shots."

"I won't tell you what shoes to wear!"

"I won't dictate how gorgeous you look on the Big Day. You don't need someone telling you how to be your beautiful self!"

Sometimes I think I am funnier than I actually am, but I think these boxes gave them both a pretty good chuckle and made them feel awfully special. Exactly what I wanted!

  1. We do something very similar in theatre – giving out "Warm Fuzzies" on opening/closing nights – just little inside jokes, and ego boosters, but I've always loved the ones with little treats or symbolic representations of things you might need for the show, or life. I love that you have made this a way of honouring your friends and outlining what you're expecting from them on your big day – all in one shot! Congratulations!

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  2. This is super awesome. I love the little charms and the messages attached. I would be super stoked to be a part of this wedding.

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  3. This is SO clever and I just adore both the sentiment AND the execution!

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  4. "…You don't need someone telling you how to be your beautiful self!" That's lovely!

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  5. I love this idea and may have to borrow the concept as I've just asked my friend to be my bride's mate (he's a guy). Having decided I don't want gal pals in frocks this is perfect..

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  6. After seeing so many cool ideas like this, I kinda feel bad that I just called up or talked to my bridesmaids to ask them to be in my wedding party!

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  7. I love, love, love this box. Great idea. I am also curious to see the quilt. Nice fabric!

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  8. Such a creative idea! I have people I wish could be in (or even at) my wedding, so this would be perfect to include them somehow.

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  9. God, I feel like I should've made a mini-proposal of it, I should find a cool non-gendered term, but everyone's been calling her my bride's maid… We were at a greasy spoon late night diner and I said "So, you know we're getting married?" "Yeah" "I know you don't like weddings, but would you like to stand with me?" "What's my dress like?" "Anything you want as long as its turquoise" "CAN I HAVE PURPLE RIBBONS?" "Oh! Yeah sure!" "Buy me a milkshake?" and we didn't talk about it for another 3 months… but she's calling it "Planning like a beast 2013" I wish I'd done something cute like your treasure box, but it happened how it happened. I'm glad you've got someone you're so close to to help you out! :)

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  10. as a recipient of one of these very boxes, i can say it was fabulous and made me feel so honored! thanks amelia!

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  11. oh my goodness oh my goodness WHERE did you get those awesome Minnesota necklaces? Twin Cities represeeeeeent

    I love everything about this. Definitely going to make personalized ones to thank my friends for agreeing to back me up =D thanks for sharing!

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  12. Awesome! Absolutely love it. I wanna do it! My own way of course. Maybe the boxes can be the gifts themselves! OooooOOO my lil brain just popped! Ideas have fluttered free! (I like making boxed, lol) Thank you for the inspiration! You, Genius. ;)

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  13. LOVE IT! I want to have come up with that idea too! Especially love the 'fun stuff"

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